St Vladimir's Book Club
by ClairDeLaLuna
Summary: It all begins when Rose reads a letter. A letter that has the possibility of changing her life. Now she's thrust into a safe house with all of her closest friends and family, forced to read the books of her life, trying not to go crazy with the memories, and figure out who could possible have the ability to arrange this. Hey, no one said being a Guardian was easy.
1. Chapter 1

I HAD A WEIRD FEELING about today. I couldn't exactly explain it, but when I rolled out of bed that morning, shivering the chilly winter air, I just _knew_ it wouldn't be an ordinary day. Then again, when your best friend is a Vampire Queen (in particular, a Moroi, a living vampire in possession of incredible elemental magic) and a Spirit user, you kind of get used to weird stuff. I hesitated a moment in front of my dresser, unsure as to whether I should put on my formal Guardian outfit or just regular clothing. Six months. It'd been six months since Lissa had been crowned Queen, and I still wasn't quite sure. Six months, and I was still caught off Guard by all the events that had happened in the past year.

I was jolted out of my thoughts by a knock on the door. I looked down at myself and, deciding there was nothing wrong with them seeing me in pajama bottoms and a "Love never dies" tee shirt (how ironic, considering), I went over to the door and opened it. Outside was one of Lissa's other Guardians – I wracked my brain for a name. Something Abernathy. Something similar to Steven. Stefan. That was the name. Stefan Abernathy. Beside him stood an Alchemist, but not one I recognised. Messy blonde hair, uneasy and disdainful grey eyes, and of course that golden lily that marked them all. I looked at Stefan in confusion, hoping he'd give me an answer.

"Did we wake you?" Stefan asked, I shook my head, yawning and cracking my back.

"Nah," I replied, "I was already getting up. Deciding what to wear, actually." I glanced back at the silent thus far Alchemist once again, "Guardian Abernathy, why is there an Alchemist here? Is something wrong?"

Stefan shook his head, long black hair slipping out of its ponytail holder. His hair was longer even than Dimitri's. Almost as long as mine, in fact. It was an odd sight, to me, but I never once pointed it out. He had kind eyes – a shade lighter than Christian's winter blue. More like glacial silver blue. It was a stunning combination, I had to admit. I was sure that his Moroi parent _had_ to be an Ozera. There really was no explanation otherwise. "I told you," Stefan chuckled, "we're all friends here. We all protect the Queen. Call me Stefan."

Problem was, I had a habit of forgetting my co-workers' names. Oh well. "Right. Sorry about that. Anyways, the Alchemist." I turned, once again, to the Alchemist in question. "I'm Guardian Hathaway," I paused, "Rose Hathaway. Call me Rose." I said, offering my hand to the man. He hesitated, his fingers reaching up to brush what I would assume a cross necklace underneath his button up white shirt. It was something I had grown to expect with my experience among the Alchemists. Which, really, wasn't that much. I only really knew one. Well, except for that Ian guy, but I had barely spoken to him. Alchemists don't really like our kind.

Still, his manners held out and, hesitantly, he shook my hand before moving to wipe it on black slacks, as if he was afraid of catching my dhampir germs. I'd almost let that offend me if I didn't understand the Alchemists. "Corey," he finally stated. His hair, golden blonde with hints of brown, was in desperate need of a trim and his eyes, smokey grey, clearly expressed his desire to be anywhere but here, "Corey Goodwin."

"Are you friends with Sydney?" I had to ask. It was the only explanation I could come up with. He had a boyish face, but I knew looks could be deceiving. He appeared to be a little older than Sydney. Between her age and Adrian's. Maybe about... nineteen? Twenty? Around that. The Alchemist shook his head in reply to my question, holding out an envelope with my name on it. There was no return address.

"Weird," I frowned, taking the envelope. I was careful not to touch his hand as I took it from him, something he seemed – almost – grateful for. I had to use my teeth to open it, annoyingly enough, but when I did, a letter fluttered out.

"_Guardian Rosemarie Hathaway._

_Dear Rosemarie. I trust you are well. There is a task you must complete. Corey here will be taking you and a few others to a house. There, you will receive further instructions. Enclosed is a list of items you must bring with you. Wear comfortable clothing._

_Love, The Author."_

Just as it stated, there _was_ a list of items. A list including pajamas, my toothbrush and toothpaste. It was basically a checklist of all the things you would take in a go bag. This set off alarm bells in my head – why do I need to bring a go bag? And where was this house? Who had this letter come from? Who was "The Author"? I didn't understand. And I didn't like it when I didn't understand. I sighed and nodded, glancing back up at Stefan and Corey.

"Give me a few moments to change and get my things," I sighed. Might as well see where this took me, "I assume you know what you're supposed to do?" This was to the Alchemist. He nodded, seeming even more uncomfortable. I glanced back down at the letter, giving it another cursory read but gleaned no further information. "Wear comfortable clothing" it said. Well. I assume that meant my formal Guardian clothing was out. "Stefan, take Corey to the kitchen. He could probably use a drink. And... keep him away from the others as much as possible. Y'know. For his comfort." I shrugged, shutting the door behind me.

I packed quickly, my go bag already half full. Lissa and I had only just gotten back from LeHigh the other night. It was winter break, thankfully enough. I had forgotten how much I didn't like school – at least, not the ones where you sat down and did a lot of writing. My Guardian training classes, however? I had always liked those. Of course, I had liked my trainings with Dimitri much more. I couldn't help but grin, remembering back to when life was simple. Ish. Life was never really all that simple for me. Lissa and I had a habit of getting into trouble no matter where we went. Still, things were pretty good. Lissa had gone to meet up with Christian, which meant that I had gotten to meet up with Dimitri, considering he was Christian's guardian. Skype calls and texts – I had _finally_ gotten myself a cellphone – were fine and all, but they weren't the same. To make things even better, Lord Szelsky was at Court, which meant I had gotten to meet up with my mother. I couldn't help but laugh at that. Who knew, I was actually excited to meet my mother. Times had changed.

As a last minute thing, I tossed my Guardian outfit in the go bag anyways, clipping my earpiece in. I tied my hair up, brushing my fingers against the miriad of _molnija_ marks – little jaggedy lightning bolt exes that marked how many Strigoi I'd killed. I couldn't remember how many Strigoi I had actually killed. They didn't bother to tattoo me anymore. Instead, after an attack on St. Vladimir's back in my novice days, they had given me a different tattoo. A star-like thing called a _zvezda_, which was basically just their way of saying "oops we lost count." The last tattoo I'd gotten was a curvy S like thing, wrapping around the _molnija_ marks and the _zvezda_; the promise mark, the tattoo that meant I had graduated. That I was a Guardian. I slipped my gun into my holster, not that I'd really need it, as well as the beater stick for just in case. I rarely needed either of those. Sure, Guardians were sometimes used as dhampir police people, and so the beater stick was something for crowd control. And yeah, if I needed to take down a threat, I suppose I could have used the gun. But really, that was only part of the job description. Not even half. The most important weapon that a Guardian could own was a silver stake charmed with all four elements. This stake was to be used to kill the Strigoi, evil undead vampires hell bent on killing... well, everyone. But especially the Moroi. And, being as I was Guardian for the Queen and my best friend... yeah. Strigoi really wanted to take her out. Especially since she was one of the last two in her line, the Dragomirs.

Slipping my stake into its leather holster always made me feel a little better. I hadn't actually had to deal with any Strigoi yet since Lissa became Queen, but I knew it was only a matter of time before I did and, having this on me, I always felt a little better. It'd be nice to carry two, just in case something happened to this one, but that would have been a little inconvenient. Not to say we didn't have enough stakes. I'm pretty sure that, with how low the Guardian numbers were these days, there were more stakes than there were Guardians. But still.

I walked down to the common room, slipping into the kitchen. As I expected, Stefan and Corey were still there but, to my surprise, so were a few others. My eyes fell immediately to the two most important people in my life: My best friend and charge Queen Vasilisa "Lissa" Dragomir, and the love of my life, Guardian Dimitri Belikov. I felt my lips spread into a grin of their own accord and, after only a moment's hesitation, I went to give Lissa a hug. As much as I loved Dimitri, _They come first_. "Morning, Liss," I greeted, fighting a yawn. I felt Dimitri slip his arms around my waist as I greeted Lissa, and my grin widened. I leaned back into him, closing my eyes for a moment as the intoxicating scent of his aftershave hit me. God, I'd never get over that. "How'd you sleep?"

"Pretty good," she grinned as Christian, her own boyfriend, moved to slip an arm around her waist, resting his chin on her shoulder. Yeah. Definitely didn't miss that bond of ours. Well, sometimes I did, but I didn't miss watching – and experiencing vicariously – their sex life. "Do you know what this is about?" I assumed she meant the Alchemist. I shook my head.

"Not really. But I guess we'll figure it out." I shrugged, reaching for a box of Oreos.

Corey shook his head, "I've been informed that there's food at the place we're going to," he said, taking a hesitant step back. Whether it was conscious or subconscious, he had backed himself into a bit of a corner, as if it would protect him from all us scary dhampirs. My stomach growled, causing Dimitri to chuckle, but I shrugged.

"Alright," I said, "well, let's get this over with."

Stefan took us out to the garages and, after a quick conversation with Dimitri, we quickly devised a plan. Well, not that quickly. We both wanted the passenger seat. He argued that, with his height, it was probably a better idea. I argued that, with his height, he'd probably scare the poor Alchemist shitless. I looked less threatening. He stated that the passenger seat was the deadliest part of the car – and it was. In accidents, the person in the front passenger seat was usually the one who recieved the worst injuries. If they didn't die. I stated that, if we put Lissa behind the driver, she was in the safest spot, which meant that by me sitting in the passenger seat, I could keep a better eye on her. In the end, I lost. Dimitri got the passenger seat, much to Corey's terror. I, being the shortest, was stuck in the middle seat between Lissa and Christian. Stefan remained there.

It wasn't that long of a drive. Twenty minutes at most. Still, I had to wonder; what did that letter mean? What task did we have to perform? How were the Alchemists involved? I met Lissa's eyes, but she, like I, didn't seem to have a clue. We were all in the dark. That bothered me. After twenty minutes, we pulled off onto a side road. If you could even call it a road. We were in rural Pennsylvania, after all, and had gone the opposite direction of LeHigh. When we finally arrived at our destination, I found myself even more confused.

The path was illuminated by little street lamps. Or, no not street lamps. Garden lamps. It lead up to a moderate sized house, bigger than Sonya Karp's had been back in Kentucky, but smaller than the Badica house back when I'd gone for my Qualifier. However, unlike then, the path was cleared and salted for ice. Dimitri got out first, followed by Christian and I. Christian, I didn't really want following me, but he had fire magic, so if anything came after us, at least I knew he could defend himself. "Stay in the car," I told Lissa and Corey. After a moment, I turned to Christian, changing my mind, "you too."

He opened his mouth to argue and I glared, "we are out in the middle of nowhere. Dimitri and I are going to scout. If anything happens, you need to stay here and use your fire magic to protect Lissa. Surround the car with flames if you have to. But don't let anything happen to her. Do you understand?" He closed his mouth and nodded. Dimitri and I met eyes, every nerve on fire, every sense straining for the slightest hint of danger, every muscle taut with anticipation. Silently, we devised a plan. Dimitri, being taller and stronger, would take the back side of the house, more towards the forests. I would take the front.

He headed off towards the back of the house and I surveyed the front, stepping carefully on the path. Just because it was salted didn't mean there wasn't still ice. I looked up at the chimney, relieved and yet alarmed at the same time. Smoke. That meant someone was here. That could be a good sign, or a very bad one. My enhanced hearing could detect voices inside the house, but I couldn't pick out any specific ones. All I knew was that they were familiar to me. I stepped onto the porch, feet light, and peered into the windows. I couldn't see anything through the black out curtains but shadows. From the right side, opposite of the one Dimitri had gone, he reemerged, gesturing for me to return to the car. His posture, though still tense, had relaxed slightly and I took that as a good sign. Whatever was waiting for us, it wasn't Strigoi. At least, not as far as we could tell.

"Nothing?" I whispered to him, stepping close to him. He shook his head.

"Large fence in the back half, like Sonya's. Big garden, though it's barren due to winter. One door. Black out curtains."

I nodded, "there are people inside, but I knew the voices. I don't know who they are, but I don't think it's Strigoi. Still... I don't think we should drop our guard just yet." He nodded and planted a kiss on my head, making me smile a little. I gave a brief nod to Christian, letting him know it was – more or less – safe. He stepped out, followed by Corey the Alchemist and Lissa.

"What is it?" Christian asked. I shrugged, moving so that I could see both him and Lissa, the door, and the right part of the woods. Dimitri stood on the opposite side, facing me, so he could do the same for the left portion of the woods.

"Not sure," I admitted, "but it doesn't appear to be Strigoi. Not as far as I can tell, anyways."

Just then, another car pulled up. To my surprise, Mia, Eddie, Sonya, Mikhail, and my parents came out. My eyebrows raised – both of them, unfortunately. I still couldn't arch just the one – what were _they _doing here? I didn't like this. Still, I turned to my fellow Guardians and decided to inform them of what we'd figured out, ushering the Moroi into a sort of protective circle. And the Alchemist, unfortunately for him.

"There are two exit points," I said to them quietly, "as far as we can tell, anyways. There are people inside, but they sound familiar. Black out curtains, which could mean either Moroi or Strigoi. A fireplace is going. No scuff marks on the doors, the knobs appear fine. The path has been de-iced and cleared of snow. In the back is a yard, or a garden, enclosed with high fences. A fortress. Dimitri says there's another door back there, with more black out curtains. No Strigoi, as far as I can tell, but that doesn't mean we should drop our guard. I don't know about you guys, but I don't feel like this is just an ordinary house." My mother nodded.

"Belikov, you take the front. Rose, Tanner, you two take the sides. I'll take the back with Guardian Castile." I shook my head.

"I don't know," I murmured. "I think Mikhail and Eddie should take the back. Leave the biggest ones for the front and back, where the most immediate threats will be. And the Alchemist needs to be right behind Dimitri. And then we can take the sides. I want to be right beside Lissa, too. Lissa and Sonya should take the front behind the Alchemist, in case they need to push past him and use compulsion. And that leaves Mia and Abe near the back with Mikhail and Eddie." My mother hesitated but, seeing the logic in it, nodded. She smiled at me.

"You've come a long way."

I grinned back, "well, I've got great genes and had a great teacher."

We said nothing more as our group approached. As I had advised, Dimitri stood in the front, with mom and I on opposite sides and Eddie and Mikhail in the back. All five of us had our stakes out, ready for any sense of a threat. My stomach flipped nervously – though definitely not the nausea I felt (used to feel? I don't know if I still had my Strigoi sensor anymore) when Strigoi were near. After a moment's hesitation, Dimitri knocked on the door. We all held our breath. What we saw was... unexpected to say the least.

"Guardian Petrov?" I gaped, leaning over to get a better view, to make sure I was seeing what I really was seeing, "what're you doing here?"

Alberta shrugged, noting our protective stances. Although her face gave away nothing, her eyes seemed to smile. And then her eyes fell on Lissa and she immediately fell into a bow. Oh yeah. I forgot about that part. After a moments hesitation, Lissa told her to rise, and Alberta moved to answer our question.

"I was given a letter by the Alchemists," she replied, "I'm not the only one here, either. Lord Ivashkov and the Princess are here, as is another Alchemist and three dhampirs. I assume they are related to you, Belikov?"

My mind was reeling. Jill, Adrian and an Alchemist? I only needed to guess that the Alchemist was Sydney. And three dhampirs related to Dimitri? Well, that could have been any number of his family. But for some reason, I knew one of them to be Olena. From where I stood, I could see the corners of Dimitri's lips turn up in a smile, no doubt excited to see his family again. But, first things first. "What can you tell us about the house, Alberta?" He asked.

"There are three bedrooms. One has a "Girls" sign on the door. Another has "Boys" on the door. And another plainly states "The Alchemist." The rooms for Girls and Boys has multiple beds – ten beds in the girls room and six in the boys. There is also a large closet per room and multiple dressers. The bedroom marked "Alchemist" has only one bed, a decent closet and one dresser. There is one bathroom with a large bathtub shower, double vanity, and a toilet. There's a large shelf. A large kitchen, with cupboards full of foods, and a pantry with even more food. Near the kitchen is a feeder room for the Moroi, with three feeders. There's a back door in the living room that leads into the garden. In the living room, there are multiple couches, tables and other seats. There are speakers on the walls in every room. On the largest coffee table is a very large, very heavy box. It says "Do not Open until Rosemarie has read her letter." And, on the box, is an envelope with no return address, addressed to Rose."

I frowned. Another letter? "Any threats that you can tell?" Alberta shook her head.

Dimitri turned to look at the rest of us and, deciding we had no other choice but to follow through on this, I shrugged. Alberta nodded and stepped aside, letting us into the room. As I expected, Olena was one of the Belikovs here. As were Viktoria and, to my surprise, Yeva. Well. Huh. Dimitri's face lit up into a huge grin as he rushed towards his mother and sister, speaking in rapid Russian. I couldn't help but be amused, even as Olena wrapped me in her embrace, holding me as if I was another one of her children. Which, I guess, I kind of was. Now, anyways. And, like I had expected, Sydney stood off in the corner with Jill and Adrian, only half uncomfortable – which, really, was better than her being entirely freaked out, like our friend Corey was. Still, I was glad to note that, whoever was holding us here had thought to give Sydney her own bedroom, so she wouldn't have to sleep with the rest of us evil creatures of the night.

"I'm so glad you're okay," Olena said to me, making me smile, "Yeva told us you were fine, that you had a job to do, but you left so suddenly. You had us worried."

"I'm sorry," I apologised, "I didn't mean to worry you. How are the others? Sonya and Karolina? And Paul. Zoya's... one now, right? Has Sonya had her baby yet?"

Olena beamed, "yes, Zoya's one year now. And the baby's name is Anastasiya. She's so beautiful."

I grinned, glancing over at Viktoria. She seemed slightly uncomfortable, which was to be expected, given that the last time she'd seen me she'd been yelling at me. However, she moved to give me a hug, too, and whispered in my ear, "you were right. I'm sorry."

"All's forgiven," I whispered back. Honestly, I was just glad to see that she wasn't – visibly – pregnant. I turned to glance, first at Jill who beamed at me, then at Sydney who smiled awkwardly, and Adrian, who kept his face as neutral as any Guardian, and finally at the oversized box on the table. I sighed. "Well, let's get this over with."

Like Alberta had said, there were only two entry points. This left guarding the room rather simple. Corey, I noted, had already left. Alberta and Mikhail locked the doors and checked all the windows. Then half the Guardians sat on the couch closest to the front door and the other half of us sat on the couch closest to the back door. Dimitri sat on my left and Eddie on my right, closest to the back door. On a cushion in front of us lay Lissa and Christian, sprawled out but together. Olena and Viktoria sat close too, while Yeva sat in a rocking chair, watching us all. I wasn't sure if the others knew she spoke English, but I wasn't about to oust her. Let them deal with her this time. Facing us sat my mother, with Abe beside her, Mikhail and Sonya, and Alberta. Sydney sat closer to me and Lissa, Adrian sat closer to Alberta and away from Dimitri and I. Mia sat in the middle, near Eddie. I noted that there was a fish tank in the corner – what an odd thing to put in a big brother style house. Oh well, at least it meant that if we were attacked, Jill and Mia would have something to work with. With a heavy sigh, I stood and reached for the box, peeling the tape off the envelope. Opening it – again with my teeth, dammit – I began to read aloud.

"_Guardian Rosemarie Hathaway,"_ I read, "_Welcome to the safe house. I trust you find it to your liking. I have gathered all your friends here to complete a task. A very important task, one that may take some time to be completed. However, there is more than enough food to last you through this task, and I have even been generous enough to set up some place for you to sleep. If you require something that you do not have, you are to make a call to our good friend Corey, who will retrieve whatever it is your heart desires."_

"Sounds serious," Mia remarked. I frowned. What the hell was going on? Nevertheless, I continued.

"_To put it simply, I have gathered you here to read a series of books. The series consists of six books, all of which will be read aloud amongst your friends. Each book has a name written on it, one for each of you, as well as the order in which you must read the books. You will decide amongst yourselves who will read which chapter." _I blinked, "wait. So the person gathered us here for a fucked up sort of book club? Book club of the damned? What the hell is so important about that?"

"Rose."

I glanced over at Alberta and ducked my head. I may have graduated, but she had still been my instructor. Sort of. Anyways. I continued once again, "_but these are no ordinary books. These books contain all of the events of your last year at St. Vladimir's. These books contain your inner most thoughts and feelings. Your loves, your losses, your dirtiest little secrets, your deepest desires... they are the books of you... Love, The Author." _I looked up, knowing they would see the panic in my eyes. I couldn't do this. My heart was pounding. How had they...?

I pulled the stake from my belt, severing the tape on the box. As promised, there were books. Six books inside their own little box – and there were sixteen, no seventeen, stacks of them. Each with a different name, all in alphabetical order.

_Adrian Ivashkov_

_Alberta Petrov_

_Christian Ozera_

_Dimitri Belikov  
Edison Castile  
Ibrahim Mazur  
Janine Hathaway  
Jillian Mastrano Dragomir  
Mia Rinaldi  
Mikhail Tanner  
Olena Belikova  
Sonya Karp  
Sydney Sage  
Vasilisa Dragomir  
Viktoria Belikova  
Yeva Belikova_

"Hmph. No titles, I notice," I remarked. Lissa moved to my side, touching my shoulder.

"What do you mean?"

"Rosemarie Hathaway, Vasilisa Dragomir, Mikhail Tanner. Not Guardian Rosemarie Hathaway, Queen Vasilisa Dragomir, Guardian Mikhail Tanner. Real rude, if you ask me."

"Are you going to be able to do this?" I looked at her. I couldn't lie.

"I don't know, Liss, but we have to. What choice do we have?"


	2. Chapter 2

I COULDN'T FIGURE OUT who was doing this. Who was The Author? What did they want, aside for my friends to know all my innermost thoughts and secrets. If I didn't know the truth, I would have almost thought that it was Victor Dashkov behind this. It was something he would have done. But I did know the truth, didn't I? I mean, he was dead, I had killed him. But suddenly, I wasn't quite so sure. As Alberta and Dimitri handed out the box sets to everyone, I took my seat beside Eddie. I needed to check. I wasn't sure if it would work, since I was no longer shadow kissed, but I had to try. Although I couldn't feel the mental wall anymore, nevertheless I tried to release it, get a feel for the land of the dead. To my surprise, that familiar headache started up right away, and I swear I saw glowing shadows, as contradictory as that sounded. But no, I couldn't actually see any ghosts. That didn't surprise me. I had already known it wouldn't have worked. The fact that I even got half way there surprised me, to be honest. With very little effort, I pushed the barely there mental wall back up, and my headache slowly began to fade. Sonya, I realised, was watching me with a curious expression on her face, but I couldn't pay that any mind right now.

"Before we begin," I started, "first of all. I'm reading first. It's my life we're reading about, so I should have first dibs. Second, I apologise for anything you may read here. And third, I need food. I haven't eaten." With that announcement, I moved to the kitchen. Just as Alberta had stated, the cupboards and pantry were filled with food. Mostly snack food, to my delight, but all sorts of food. I grabbed a couple boxes of cookies, including my beloved oreos, as well as a bag of sourcream chips, and a couple two litre bottles of coke and rootbeer. I reached for the cupboard containing the plastic cups I'd seen earlier, grabbing what felt like enough. With all that, I shuffled my way back to the sitting living room type whatever it was, careful not to drop my precious cargo.

"Are you trying to feed an army?" Lissa laughed. Behind my boxes of cookies, I gave her a grin.

"Basically." I stated, placing them all on the table. I poured myself some rootbeer, popped an oreo or two in my mouth and placed the sour cream and onion chips down by my feet. "Let's get this show on the road. Which books is first?"

Adrian answered me, "the one that I'm not in, apparently. Vampire Academy."

"Really?" I groaned, "wow. Can you get any lamer? I can guarantee you, not once do the words vampire and academy appear in my head. At least, not side by side like that. Alright." I sighed, opening my book, "here we go I guess."

"**I FELT HER FEAR BEFORE**__**I heard her screams.**

**Her nightmare pulsed into me, shaking me out of my own dream, which had something to do with a beach and some hot guy rubbing suntan oil on me."** I heard laughs, but simple shrugged. Hey, I had been a seventeen year old girl. It was a completely normal dream, "**Images – hers, not mine – tumbled through my mind: fire and blood, the smell of smoke, the twisted metal of a car. The pictures wrapped around me, suffocating me, until some rational part of my brain reminded me that this wasn't **_**my**_** dream.**

**I woke up, strands of long, dark hair sticking to my forehead.**

**Lissa lay in her bed, thrashing and screaming. I bolted out of mine, quickly crossing the few feet that separated us.**

"**Liss," I said, shaking her. "Liss, wake up."**

**Her screams dropped off, replaced by soft whimpers. "Andre," she moaned, "Oh God."**

**I helped her sit up. "Liss, you aren't there anymore. Wake up."**

**After a few moments, her eyes fluttered open, and in the dim lighting, I could see a flicker of consciousness start to take over. Her frantic breathing slowed, and she leaned into m, resting her head against my shoulder. I put an arm around her and ran a hand over her hair.**

"**It's okay," I told her gently, "Everything's okay."**

"**I had that dream."**

"**Yeah. I know."** I took a sip of my rootbeer, glancing up. So far, everyone seemed fine, though my mother was pale. It took me a moment to realise why. "Oh," I said, eyes widening, "I forgot... you weren't actually there after the accident. I'm sorry."

My mother nodded, a look of guilt crossing her features. I couldn't imagine how much worse it would get when she realised that, technically, I had died that night, and she hadn't been there. She hadn't been in the hospital when I woke up. I shook those thoughts away and continued reading.

"**We sat like that for several minutes, not saying anything else. When I felt her emotions calm down, I leaned over to the nightstand between our beds and turned on the lamp. It glowed dimly, but neither of us really needed much to see by. Attracted by the light, our housemate's cat, Oscar, leapt up onto the sill of the open window. He gave me a wide berth – animals don't like dhampirs, for whatever reason – but jumped onto the bed and rubbed his head against Lissa, purring softly. Animals didn't have a problem with Moroi, and they all loved Lissa in particular. Smiling, she scratched his chin, and I felt her calm further."**

Lissa paused me, looking up in confusion, "I never understood that. Animals like Moroi and humans, but not dhampirs. Why?"

I shrugged, "maybe it's because they can sense the magic in Moroi? They feel the magic and take you as beings tied to the earth. A natural race, like humans. Dhampirs were a hybrid race, originally. So they weren't as natural as humans as Moroi. Maybe that has something to do with that." I shrugged and continued,

"**When did we last do a feeding?" I asked, studying her face. Her fair skin was paler than usual. Dark circles hung under her eyes, and there was an air of frailty about her. School had been hectic this week, and I couldn't remember the last time I'd given her blood. It's been like... more than two days, hasn't it? Three? Why didn't you say anything?"**

**She shrugged and wouldn't meet my eyes. "You were busy, I didn't want to-"**

"**Screw that," I said, shifting into a better position. No wonder she seemed so weak. Oscar, not wanting me any closer, leapt down and returned to the window, where he could watch at a safe distance. "Come on. Let's do this."**

"**Rose-"**

"**Come **_**on.**_** It'll make you feel better."**

**I tilted my head and tossed my hair back, baring my neck. I saw her hesitate, but the sight of my neck and what it offered proved too powerful. A hungry expression crossed her face, and her lips parted slightly, exposing the fangs she normally kept hidden while living among humans. Those fangs contrasted oddly with the rest of her features. With her pretty face and pale blond hair, she looked more like an angel than a vampire." **

"I agree,"Christian grinned. Lissa blushed. I glanced down at my book and quickly read ahead, making sure I knew what was coming. Yep, my dirty secret was there, plain as anyone could see. I met the eyes of everyone in the room though, refusing to be ashamed by it. Was it wrong? Yes. I shouldn't have liked it. But it was hard not to. And it had been necessary. I was doing my duty, protecting Lissa, and that was what was important. I had nothing to be ashamed of. Daring them to say something, I read with a clear voice.

"**As her teeth neared my bare skin, I felt my heart race with a mix of fear and anticipation. I always ahted feeling the latter, but it was nothing I could help, a weakness I couldn't shake.**

**Her fangs bit into me, hard, and I cried out at the brief flare of pain. Then it faded, replaced by a wonderful, golden joy that spread through my body. It was better than any of the times I'd been drunk or high. Better than sex – or so I imagined, since I'd never done it. It was a blanket of pure, refined pleasure, wrapping me up and promising everything would be right in the world. On and on it went, the chemicals in her saliva triggered an endorphin rush, and I lost track of the world, lost track of who I was.  
Then, regretfully, it was over. It had taken less than a minute.**

**She pulled back, wiping her hand across her lips as she studied me. "You okay?"**

"**I... yeah." I lay back on the bed, dizzy from the blood loss. "I just need to sleep it off. I'm fine."**

**Her pale, jade-green eyes watched me with concern. She stood up. "I'm going to get you something to eat."**

**My protests came awkwardly to my lips, and she left before I could get out a sentence. The buzz from her bite had lessened as soon as she broke the connection, but some of it still lingered in my veins, and I felt a goofy smile cross my lips. Turning my head, I glanced up at Oscar, still sitting in the window.  
"You don't know what you're missing," I told him.**"

"You do realise, Rose," Christian smirked, "that talking to a cat is a warning sign of insanity?"

I shook my head, glaring slightly. "Yeah, well, I was high out of my mind. Cut me some slack." I shrugged, "anyways, if I remember correctly, my first meeting of Dimitri is soon. And he kinda kicks my ass."I hated to admit that last part.

Eddie looked at me, half curious and half... empathetic? I think. I couldn't help but remember back to the days when he, too, had been used as a feeder. He knew. But the curiousity had me curious as well. "Are all your thoughts like that?" He asked. I looked in confusion.

"Like what?"

"Your mind's rather complex, little dhampir," Adrian said, not making eye contact with me, "as if they're meant to be read. As if you're writing a novel with your mind." I shrugged.

"Yeah, pretty much. Not quite sure why. It's just how my mind works. Anyways, hold on how long is this chapter?" I skipped ahead, not sure how they were separating them. Twelve pages, all the way up until Dimitri spoke. And I had to read all of that. Alright, I could do that. Taking a deep breath, I continued.

"**His attention was on something outside. Hunkering down into a crouch, he puffed out his jet-black fur. **

**His tail started twitching.**

**My smile faded, and I forced myself to sit up. The world spun, and I waited for it to right itself before trying to stand. When I managed it, the dizziness set in again and this time refused to leave. Still, I felt okay enough to stumble to the window and peer out with Oscar. He eyed me warily, scooted over a little, and then returned to whatever had held his attention.**

**A warm breeze – unseasonably warm for a Portland fall – played with my hair as I leaned out. The street was dark and relatively quiet. It was three in the morning, just about the only time a college campus settled down, at least somewhat. The house in which we'd rented a room for the past eight months sat on a residential street with old, mismatched houses. Across the road, a streetlight flickered, nearly ready to burn out. It still cast enough light for me to make out the shapes of cars and buildings. In our own yard, I could see the silhouettes of trees and bushes.**

**And a man watching me. **

**I jerked back in surprise. A figure stood by a tree in the yard, about thirty feet away, where he could easily see through the window. He was close enough that I probably could have thrown something and hit him. He was certainly close enough that he could have seen what Lissa and I had just done.**

**The shadows covered him so well that even with my heightened sight, I couldn't make out any of his features, save for his height. He was tall. Really tall. He stood there for just a moment, barely discernible, and then stepped back, disappearing into the shadows cast by the trees on the far side of the yard. I was pretty sure I saw someone else move nearby and join him before the blackness swallowed them both.**

**Whoever these figures were, Oscar didn't like them. Not counting me, he usually got along with most people, growing upset only when someone posed an immediate danger. The guy outside hadn't done anything threatening to Oscar, but the cat had sensed something, something that put him on edge.**

**Something similar to what he always sensed in me.**

**Icy fear raced through me, almost – but not quite – eradicating the lovely bliss of Lissa's bite. Backing up from the window, I jerked on a pair of jeans that I found on the floor, nearly falling over in the process.**

**Once they were on, I grabbed my coat and Lissa's, along with our wallets. Shoving my feet into the first shoes I saw, I headed out the door.**

**Downstairs, I found her in the cramped kitchen, rummaging through the refrigerator. One of our housemates, Jeremy, sat at the table, hand on his forehead as he stared sadly at a calculus book. Lissa regarded me with surprise.**

"**You shouldn't be up."**

"**We have to go. Now."**

**Her eyes widened, and then a moment later, understanding clicked in. "Are you... really? Are you sure?"**

**I nodded. I couldn't explain how I knew for sure. I just did."**

"Good instincts, Rose," Mikhail praised. I blushed a little and nodded in thanks.

"**Jeremy watched us curiously. "What's wrong?"**

**An idea came to mind. "Liss, get his car keys."**

**He looked back and forth between us. "What are you-"**

**Lissa unhesitatingly walked over to him. Her fear poured into me through our psychic bond, but there was something else too: her complete faith that I would take care of everything, that we would be safe.**

**Like always, I hoped I was worthy of that kind of trust.**

**She smiled broadly and gazed directly into his eyes. For a moment, Jeremy just stared, still confused, and then I saw the thrall seize him. His eyes glazed over, and he regarded her adoringly.**

"**We need to borrow your car," she said in a gentle voice. "Where are your keys?"**

**He smiled, and I shivered. I had a high resistance to compulsion, but I could still feel its effects when it was directed at another person. That, and I'd been taught my entire life that using it was wrong.**

**Reaching into his pocket, Jeremy handed over a set of keys hanging on a large red key chain.**

"**Thank you," said Lissa. "And where is it parked?"**

"**Down the street," he said dreamily. "At the corner. By Brown." Four blocks away.**

"**Thank you," she repeated, backing up. "As soon as we leave, I want you to go back to studying. Forget you ever saw us tonight."**

**He nodded obligingly. I got the impression he would have walked off a cliff for her right then if she'd asked. All humans were susceptible to compulsion, but Jeremy appeared weaker than most. That came in handy right now.**

"**Come on," I told her. "We've got to move."**

**We stepped outside, heading toward the corner he'd named. I was still dizzy fro the bite and kept stumbling, unable to move as quickly as I wanted. Lissa had to catch hold of me a few times to stop me from falling. All the time, that anxiety rushed into me from her mind. I tried my best to ignore it; I had my own fears to deal with. **

"**Rose... what are we going to do if they catch us?" she whispered.**

"**They won't," I said fiercely. "I won't let them."**

"**But if they've found us-"**

"**They've found us before. They didn't catch us then. We'll just drive over to the train station and go to L.A. They'll lose the trail."**

Mia grinned, "you make it sound so simple, Rose. "so there's a bunch of Guardians ready to take us back to St. Vladimir's. But that's okay. We'll escape."

I couldn't help but laugh. She wasn't necessarily wrong.

"**I made it sound simple. I always did, even though there was nothing simple about being on the run from the people we'd grown up with. We'd been doing it for two years, hiding wherever we could and just trying to finish high school. Our senior year had just started, and living on a college campus had seemed safe. We were so close to freedom.**

**She said nothing more, and I felt her faith in me surge up once more. This was the way it had always been between us. I was the one who took action, who made sure things happened – sometimes recklessly so. She was the more reasonable one, the one who thought things out and researched them extensively before acting. Both styles had their uses, but at the moment, recklessness was called for. We didn't have time to hesitate." **

"I'm pretty sure you get that from me," Abe chuckled. I nodded.

"Probably. Escaping from a highly guarded academy and staying on the run for two years, with the – at the time – last Dragomir princess? Yeah, only the daughter of the Zmey could manage that." I grinned.

"**Lissa and I had been best friends ever since kindergarten, when our teacher had paired us together for writing lessons. Forcing five-year-olds to spell _Vasilisa Dragomir _and _Rosemarie Hathaway_ was beyond cruel and we'd – or rather, _I'd_ – responded appropriately. I'd chucked my book at our teacher and called her a fascist bastard. I hadn't known what those words meant, but I'd known how to hit a moving target."**

The room erupted in laughter, and Lissa grinned up at me. Even Christian was amused. I think he had actually been in our class at the time. No one had been paired up with him, though, which... really, wasn't a new thing. Alberta chuckled.

"You were always a trouble maker, Rose. Your disciplinary file was longer than any other student's at that school. I think it broke a record." If possible, Abe looked even prouder.

"**Lissa and I had been inseparable ever since.**

"**Do you hear that?" She asked suddenly.**

**It took me a few seconds to pick up what her sharper senses already had. Footsteps, moving faster. I grimaced. We had two more blocks to go.**

"**We've got to run for it," I said, catching hold of her arm.**

"**But you can't-" **

"**Run."**

**It took every ounce of my willpower not to pass out on the sidewalk. My body didn't want to run after losing blood or while still metabolizing the effects of her saliva. But I ordered my muscles to stop their bitching and clung to Lissa as our feet pounded against the concrete. Normally I could have outrun her without any extra effort – particularly since she was barefoot – but tonight, she was all that held me upright.**

**The pursuing footsteps grew louder, closer. Black stars danced before my eyes. Ahead of us, I could make out Jeremy's green Honda. Oh God, if we could just make it - **

**Ten feet from the car, a man stepped directly into our path. We came to a screeching halt, and I jerked Lissa back by her arm. It was _him, _the guy I'd seen across the street watching me. He was older than us, maybe mid-twenties, and as tall as I'd figured, probably six-six or six-seven. And under different circumstances – say, when he wasn't holding up our desperate escape – I would have thought he was hot. Shoulder-length brown brown hair, tied back into a short ponytail. Dark brown eyes. A long brown coat – a duster, I thought it was called.**

**But his hotness was irrelevant now,"** this earned snorts but I glared at them, **"He was only an obstacle keeping Lissa and me away from the car and our freedom. The footsteps behind us slowed, and I knew our pursuers had caught up. Off to the sides, I detected more movement, more people closing in. God. They'd sent almost a dozen guardians to retrieve us. I couldn't believe it. The queen herself didn't travel with that many.**

**Panicked and not entirely in control of my higher reasoning," **

"You have higher reasoning?" joked Christian. I flipped him off.

"**I acted out of instinct. I pressed up to Lissa, keeping her behind me and away from the man who appeared to be the leader. **

"**Leave her alone," I growled. "Don't touch her."**

**His face was unreadable, but he held out his hands in what was apparently supposed to be some sort of calming gesture, like I was a rabid animal he was planning to sedate.**

"**I'm not going to-"**

**He took a step forward. Too close.**

**I attacked him, leaping out in an offensive manoeuvre I hadn't used in two years, not since Lissa and I had run away. The move was stupid, another reaction born of instinct and fear. And it was hopeless. He was a skilled guardian, not a novice who hadn't finished his training. He also wasn't weak and on the verge of passing out.**

**And man, was he fast. I'd forgotten how fast guardians could be, how they could move and strike like cobras. He knocked me off as though brushing away a fly, and his hands slammed into me and sent me backwards. I don't think he meant to strike that hard – probably just intended to keep me away – but my lack of coordination interfered with my ability to respond. Unable to catch my footing, I started to fall, heading straight toward the sidewalk at a twisted angle, hip-first. It was going to hurt. A **_**lot.**_

**Only it didn't.**

**Just as quickly as he'd blocked me, the man reached out and caught my arm, keeping me upright. When I'd steadied myself, I noticed he was staring at me – or, more precisely, at my neck. Still disoriented, I didn't get it right away. Then, slowly, my free hand reached up to the side of my throat and lightly touched the wound Lissa had made earlier. When I pulled my fingers back, I saw slick, dark blood on my skin. Embarrassed, I shook my hair so that it fell forward around my face. My hair was thick and long and completely covered my neck. I'd grown it out for precisely this reason.**

**The guy's dark eyes lingered on the now-covered bite a moment longer and then met mine. I returned his look defiantly and quickly jerked out of his hold. He let me go, though I knew he could have restrained me all night if he'd wanted. Fighting the nauseating dizziness, I backed toward Lissa again, bracing myself for another attack. Suddenly, her hand caught hold of mine. "Rose," she said quietly. "Don't."**

**Her words had no effect on me at first, but calming thoughts gradually began to settle in my mind, coming across through the bond. It wasn't exactly compulsion – she wouldn't use that on me – but it was effectual, as was the fact that we were hopelessly outnumbered and outclassed. Even I knew struggling would be pointless. The tension left my body, and I sagged in defeat.**

**Sensing my resignation, the man stepped forward, turning his attention to Lissa. His face was calm. He swept her a bow and managed to look graceful doing it, which surprised me considering his height. "My name is Dimitri Belikov," he said. I could hear a faint Russian accent. "I've come to take you back to St. Vladimir's Academy, Princess."**

I took a deep breath. God, that was exhausting. And that was only chapter one? How many chapters would we have to read? How many pages of my thoughts would I have to share with the world? I looked up at my friends, meeting each person's eye individually – except Yeva, considering she scared the crap out of me – and sighed, leaning heavily against Dimitri. Yeah, this was going to be exhausting.

"Are you alright, Roza?" He murmured. I nodded and rubbed my eyes.

"Yeah, just... don't really want to do this."

"It's not _so_ bad," Olena said to me gently, attempting to comfort me. I gave her a wane smile.

"That's because it's only the first chapter. And... I think this one only includes the first fall. The second one will probably be the winter, when all the big stuff goes down, well no," I paused, "each season just winds up getting worse and worse. The first book is probably going to be the easiest to endure." I sighed again, "so who will read next?"


	3. Chapter 3

AFTER A MOMENT'S hesitation, it was Dimitri who finally offered to go next. I didn't mind that so much. From what I could tell, the next part probably included the plane ride, and just before we got to Kirova's office or something like that. So, again, nothing too bad. I smiled and kissed his cheek, feeling only a little guilty about Adrian being there, before taking a moment to eat some of my chips. He cleared his throat, no doubt somewhat enjoying the opportunity to get into my mind. Lissa, too, was enjoying this, though it was clear she also felt guilty about it. She'd always said she wished she could read my mind. Well, now she could. Literally.

"**MY HATRED NOTWITHSTANDING, I HAD** **to admit Dimitri Beli-whatever,"** he paused to give me a look and I shrugged, blushing, "**was pretty smart. After they'd carted us off to the airport and onto the Academy's private jet, he'd taken one look at the two of us whispering and ordered us separated. **

"**Don't let them talk to each other," he warned the guardian who escorted me to the back of the plane. "Five minutes together, and they'll come up with an escape plan."**

**I shot him a haughty look and stormed off down the aisle. Never mind the fact we _had_****been planning escape.**

**As it was, things didn't look good for our heroes – or heroines, rather."** Dimitri paused, giving me another look, and a few of the others began to snicker. I blushed more but shrugged. Whatever. Past was the past, right? **"Once we were in the air, our odds of escape dropped further. Even supposing a miracle occurred and I did manage to take out all ten guardians, we'd sort of have a problem in getting off the plane. I figured they might have parachutes aboard somewhere, but in the unlikely event I'd be able to operate one, there was still that little issue of survival, seeing as we'd probably land somewhere in the Rocky Mountains.**

**No, we weren't getting off this plane until it landed in backwoods Montana. I'd have to think of something then, something that involved getting past the Academy's magical wards and ten times as many guardians. Yeah. No problem.**

**Although Lissa sat at the front with the Russian guy," **

"You _really_ didn't like him back then, did you?" Eddie chuckled, I shrugged.

"Hey, he was taking me somewhere I didn't want to go. At that time, he was my enemy."

"**her fear sang back to me, pounding inside my head like a hammer. My concern for her cut into my fury. They couldn't take her back _there,_ not to that place. I wondered if Dimitri might have hesitated if he could feel what I did and if he knew what I knew. **

**Probably not. He didn't care.**

**As it was, her emotions grew so strong that for a moment, I had the disorienting sensation of sitting in her seat – in her _skin_ even. It happened sometimes , and without much warning, she'd pull me right into her head. Dimitri's tall frame sat beside me, and my hand – _her_ hand – gripped a bottle of water. He leaned forward to pick up something, revealing six tiny symbols tattooed on the back of his neck: _molnija_ marks.**

**They looked like two streaks of jagged lightning crossing in an X symbol. One for each Strigoi he'd killed. Above them was a twisting line, sort of like a snake, that marked him as a guardian. The promise mark. **

**Blinking, I fought against her and shifted back into my own head with a grimace. I hated when that happened. Feeling Lissa's emotions was one thing, but slipping into her was something we both despised.**

**She saw it as an invasion of privacy, so I usually didn't tell her when it happened. Neither of us could control it. It was another effect of the bond, a bond neither of us fully understood. Legends existed about psychic links between guardians and their Moroi, but the stories had never mentioned anything like this.**

**We fumbled through it as best we could.**

**Near the end of the flight, Dimitri walked back to where I sat and traded places with the guardian beside me. I pointedly turned away, staring out the window absentmindedly. Several moments of silence passed.**

**Finally, he said, "Were you really going to attack all of us?"**

**I didn't answer.**

"**Doing that... protecting her like that – it was very brave." He paused. "_Stupid_, but still brave. Why did you even try it?"**

**I glanced over at him, brushing my hair out of my face so I could look him levelly in the eye. "Because I'm her guardian." I turned back toward the window."** Dimitri paused and looked at me. Something in his gaze turned my insides to jelly, but I couldn't quite figure out what it meant.

"What?" I asked.

He chuckled, "that moment... it was a very powerful moment. I couldn't believe... it was hard to explain. But in that moment, I knew that you understood your duty better than many of the people your age. Better than some guardians twice your age. It was startling to me, really. Because here was a girl, a girl with a disciplinary file thicker than my forearm, one who everyone called a delinquent... and yet, there was something about you. Something I couldn't understand, but I liked it."

I stared down at my hands, trying not to show how much his words affected me. He chuckled and wrapped an arm around my waist, pausing to glance at his door just once, before continuing, "**After another quiet moment, he stood up and returned to the front of the jet.**

**When we landed, Lissa and I had no choice but to let the commandos drive us out to the Academy. Our car stopped at the gate, and our driver spoke with the guards who verified we weren't Strigoi about to go off on a killing spree. After a minute, they let us pass on through the wards and up to the Academy itself. It was around sunset – the start of the vampiric day – and the campus lay wrapped in shadows.**

**It probably looked the same, sprawling and gothic. The Moroi were big on tradition; nothing ever changed with them. This school wasn't as old as the ones back in Europe, but it had been built in the same style. The buildings boasted elaborate, almost churchlike architecture, with high peaks and stone carvings. Wrought iron gates enclosed small gardens and doorways here and there. After living on a college campus, I had a new appreciation for just how much this place resembled a university more than a typical high school.**

**We were on the secondary campus, which was divided into lower and upper schools. Each was built around a large open quadrangle decorated with stone paths and enormous, century-old trees. We were going toward the upper school's quad, which had academic buildings on one side, while dhampir dormitories and the gym sat opposite. Moroi dorms sat on one of the other ends, and opposite them were the administrative buildings that also served the lower school. Younger students lived on the primary campus, farther to the west.**

**Around all the campuses was space, space, and more space. We were in Montana, after all, miles away from any real city. The air felt cool in my lungs and smelled of pine and wet, decaying leaves. Overgrown forests ringed the perimeters of the Academy, and during the day, you could see mountains rising up in the distance." **

Alberta smiled at me, "very eloquent, Rose. You describe it well." I shrugged, blushing. In truth, hearing how it was described, remembering the old buildings, it brought back a strange feeling in me: Longing. For years, St. Vladimir's had been my home. I missed it. Missed it more than I would have cared to admit. Below me on her cushion, Lissa patted my knee in understanding. She knew.

Nearby, Viktoria listened with wide eyes. "It sounds so pretty," she said wistfully.

"It was," I agreed, "I miss it."

Dimitri continued.

"**As we walked into the main part of the upper school, I broke from my guardian and ran up to Dimitri.  
"Hey, Comrade."**

**He kept walking and wouldn't look at me. "You want to talk now?"**

"**Are you taking us to Kirova?"**

"**Headmistress Kirova," he corrected. On the other side of him, Lissa shot me a look that said, _Don't start something._**

"**Headmistress. Whatever. She's still a self-righteous old bit-"**

"Rosemarie!"

"Sorry mom. But it was kinda the truth."

"**My words faded as the guardians led us through a set of doors – straight into the commons. I sighed.**

**Were these people _really_ so cruel? There had to be at least a dozen ways to get to Kirova's office, and they were taking us right through the center of the commons.**

**And it was breakfast time.**

**Novice guardians – dhampirs like me – and Moroi sat together, eating and socializing, faces alight with whatever current gossip held the Academy's attention. When we entered, the loud buzz of conversation stopped instantly, like someone had flipped a switch. Hundreds of sets of eyes swivelled towards us.**

**I returned the stares of my former classmates with a lazy grin, trying t get a sense as to whether things had changed. Nope. Didn't seem like it. Camille Conta still looked like the prim, perfectly groomed bitch I remembered, still the self-appointed leader of the Academy's royal Moroi cliques. Off to the side, Lissa's gawky near-cousin Natalie watched with wide eyes, as innocent and naive as before." **Dimitri's expression darkened, no doubt remembering Natalie knock me around. I touched his knee, giving him a gentle look and he nodded, resting his hand on mine. **  
"And on the other side of the room... well, that was interesting. Aaron. Poor, poor Aaron, who'd no doubt had his heart broken when Lissa left. He still looked as cute as ever – maybe more so now – with those same golden looks that complemented hers so well. His eyes followed her every move. Yes. Definitely not over her. It was sad, really, because Lissa had never really been all that into him. I think she'd gone out with him simply because it seemed like the expected thing to do.**

**But what I found most interesting was that Aaron had apparently found a way to pass the time without her. Beside him, holding his hand, was a Moroi girl who looked about eleven but had to be older, unless he'd become a pedophile during out absence. With plump little cheeks and blond ringlets, she looked like a porcelain doll." **

"Oh come on, do I _really_ look that young?" Mia protested. I grinned.

"Yep, you do." Frowning, I reconsidered my words, "well, no. Not anymore. You look your age now. But back then? Majorly."

"**A very pissed off and evil porcelain doll. She gripped his hand tightly an shot Lissa a look of such burning hatred that it stunned me. What the hell was that all about? She was no one I knew. Just a jealous girlfriend, I guessed. I'd be pissed too if my guy was watching someone else like that.**

**Our walk of shame mercifully ended, though our new setting – Headmistress Kirova's office – didn't really improve things. The old hag looked exactly like I remembered, sharp-nosed and grey-haired. She was tall and slim, like most oroi, and had always reminded me of a vulture. I knew her well because I'd spent a lot of time in her office."**

"Rose," Lissa groaned. Alberta was looking at me disapprovingly, but I didn't say anything.

"**Most of our escorts left us once Lissa and I were seated, and I felt a little less like a prisoner.**

**Only Alberta, the captain of the school's guardians, and Dimitri stayed. They took up positions along the wall, looking stoic and terrifying, just as their job description required. **

**Kirova fixed her angry eyes on us and opened her mouth to begin what would no doubt be a major bitch session. A deep, gentle voice stopped her.**

"**Vasilisa."**

**Startled, I realised there was someone else in the room. I hadn't noticed. Careless for a guardian, even a novice one.**

**With a great deal of effort, Victor Dashkov rose from a corner chair. **_**Prince**_** Victor Dashkov." **Dimitri growled, I grimaced, and Lissa looked pained. As much as I had hated the guy, I still felt a little guilty over my role in his death. **"Lissa sprang up and ran to him, throwing her arms around his frail body.**

"**Uncle," she whispered. She sounded on the verge of tears as she tightened her grip.**

**With a small smile, he gently patted her back. "You have no idea how glad I am to see you safe, Vasilisa." He looked toward me, "And you too, Rose."**

**I nodded back, trying to hide how shocked I was. He'd been sick when we left, but this – this was **_**horrible**_**. He was Natalie's father, only about forty or so, but he looked twice that age. Pale. Withered. Hands shaking. My heart broke watching him. With all the horrible people in the world, it didn't seem fair that this guy should get a disease that was going to kill him young and ultimately keep him from becoming king." **

I kinda wanted to laugh.

"**Although not technically her uncle – the Moroi used family terms very loosely, especially the royals – Victor was a close friend of Lissa's family and had gone out of his way to help her after her parents had died. I liked him; he was the first person I was happy to see here. **

**Kirova let them have a few more moments and then stiffly drew Lissa back to her seat.**

**Time for the lecture.**

**It was a good one – one of Kirova's best, which was saying something. She was a master at them. I swear that was the only reason she'd gone into school administration, because I had yet to see any evidence of her actually liking kids. The rant covered the usual topics: responsibility, reckless behaviour, self centeredness... Bleh." **

This time, I did laugh. When Dimitri looked up at me, I grinned, "Sorry, Comrade. It's just... hearing you say "bleh" sounded funny to me. Continue."

Lissa giggled and he just shook his head in amusement.

"**I immediately found myself spacing out, alternatively pondering the logistics of escaping through the window in her office.**

**But when the tirade shifted to me – well, that was when I tuned back in.**

"**You, Miss Hathaway, broke the most sacred promise among our kind: the promise of a guardian to protect a Moroi. It is a great trust. A trust that you violated by selfishly taking the princess away from here. The Strigoi would love to finish off the Dragomirs; **_**you **_**nearly enabled them to do it."**

"**Rose didn't kidnap me," Lissa spoke before I could, her voice and face calm, despite her uneasy feelings. "I wanted to go. Don't blame her."**

**Ms. Kirova **_**tsk**_**ed at us both and paced the office, hands folded behind her narrow back. **

"**Miss Dragomir, you could have been the one who orchestrated the entire plan for all I know, but it was still **_**her**_** responsibility to make sure you didn't carry it out. If she'd done her duty, she would have notified someone. If she'd done her duty, she would have kept you safe."**

**I snapped.**

"**I **_**did**_** do my duty!" I shouted, jumping up from my chair. Dimitri and Alberta both flinched but left me alone since I wasn't trying to hit anyone. Yet."** Dimitri glanced up from the book to give me a level look, one that Alberta seemed to be mirroring. I simply shrugged – it wasn't like I didn't have a habit of hitting first and thinking second.

"Hey, I didn't actually hit anyone, that's gotta say something." I commented. Dimitri sighed, but there was a smile in his eyes.

"**I did keep her safe! I kept her safe when none of **_**you" **_** \- I made a sweeping gesture around the room - "could do it. I took her away to protect her. I did what I had to do. You certainly weren't going to."**

**Through the bond, I felt Lissa trying to send me calming messages, again urging me not to let anger get the best of me. Too late.**

**Kirova stared at me, her face blank. "Miss Hathaway, forgive me if I fail to see the logic of how taking her out of a heavily guarded, magically secured environment is protecting her. Unless there's something you aren't telling us?"**

**I bit my lip.**

"**I see. Well, then. By my estimation, the only reason you left – aside from the novelty of it, no doubt – was to avoid the consequences of that horrible, destructive stunt you pulled just before your disappearance."**

"**No, that's not -"**

"**And that only makes my decision that much easier. As a Moroi, the princess must continue on here at the Academy for her own safety, but we have no such obligations to you. You will be sent away as soon as possible."**

Mia whistled, "what a bitch. I never did like her."

"Yeah, me neither," I grumbled, fists clenched in anger. I hated her. Not Mia, I liked Mia, but Kirova. God did I hate Kirova.Dimitri pulled me closer to him, to keep me calm, and I took a few breaths. It's okay. I wasn't there anymore. Just remember that. Besides, didn't she come grovelling back to me after the St. Vlad's attack? I just had to remember that.

"**My cockiness dried up. "I... what?"**

**Lissa stood up beside me. "You can't do that! She's my guardian."**

"**She is no such thing, particularly since she isn't even a guardian at all. She's still a novice."**

"**But my parents - "**

"**I know what your parents wanted, God rest their souls, but things have changed. Miss Hathaway is expendable. She doesn't deserve to be a guardian, and she will leave."**

**I stared at Kirova, unable to believe what I was hearing. "Where are you going to send me? To my mom in Nepal? Did she even know I was gone? Or maybe you'll send me off to my _father?_"**

**Her eyes narrowed at the bite in that last word. When I spoke again, my voice was so cold, I barely recognised it.**

"**Or maybe you're going to try to send me off to be a blood whore. Try that, and we'll be gone by the end of the day."**

"You know, Rose," Eddie piped up, "you kind of scare me sometimes."

I glanced over at my parents, biting my lip, "uh, just so you know, times have changed and uh, back then I kinda hated you mom, sorry, and didn't even know who you were, Abe. So, uh, now that wouldn't be so bad. But back then... yeah."

Abe chuckled, but my mother stayed silent. Nothing to be done for it.

"**Miss Hathaway," she hissed, "you are out of line."**

"**They have a bond." Dimitri's low, accented voice broke the heavy tension, and we all turned toward him. I think Kirova had forgotten he was there, but I hadn't. His presence was way too powerful to ignore. He still stood against the wall, looking like some sort of cowboy sentry in that ridiculous long coat of his. He looked at me, not Lissa, his dark eyes staring straight through me. "Rose knows what Vasilisa is feeling. Don't you?" **Dimitri glanced up from the book, regarding me with a curious look.

"Your mind... is a rather interesting place," he chuckled. I scowled a little.

"Yeah, well, I'm sure it'll get better," I huffed. I looked down at Lissa in sympathy, "I have no idea how you managed to deal with me inside your head for a full three years. Or whatever. I'm going crazy already, and it's been less than a day."

"**I at least had the satisfaction of seeing Kirova caught off guard as she glanced between us and Dimitri. **

"**No... that's impossible. That hasn't happened in centuries."**

"**It's obvious," he said. "I suspected as soon as I started watching them."**

**Neither Lissa nor I responded, and I averted my eyes from his.**

"**That is a gift," murmured Victor from his corner. "A rare and wonderful thing."**

"**The best guardians always had that bond," added Dimitri. "In the stories."**

**Kirova's outrage returned. "Stories that are centuries old," she exclaimed. "Surely you aren't suggesting we let her stay at the Academy after everything she's done?"**

**He shrugged. "She might be wild and disrespectful, but if she has potential -"**

"**Wild and disrespectful?" I interrupted. "Who the hell are you anyway? Outsourced help?**

"**Guardian Belikov is the princess's guardian now," said Kirova. "Her _sanctioned_ guardian."**

"**You got cheap foreign labour to protect Lissa?"**

**That was pretty mean of me to say – particularly since most Moroi and their guardians were of Russian or Romanian descent – but the comment seemed cleverer at the time than it really was. And it wasn't like I was. And it wasn't like I was one to talk. I might have been raised in the US, but my parents were foreign-born. My dhampir mother was Scottish – red-haired, with a ridiculous accent -" **

"Excuse me!"

"**And I'd been told my Moroi dad was Turkish. That genetic combination had given me skin the same colour as the inside of an almond, along with what I liked to think were semi-exotic desert-princess features:" **

"Really Rose?" Christian snorted.

"**Big dark eyes and hair so deep brown that it usually looked black. I wouldn't have minded inheriting the red hair, but we take what we get."**

Dimitri, once again, looked up at me in surprise. It was kind of amusing, really. He knew me, and yet at the same time, there were some things about me he really didn't know at all. His eyes narrowed in thought, likely trying to imagine me with the red hair, and shook his head. He reached over, running his fingers through my dark hair, something that made me close my eyes. "I like the brown," he said gruffly. Lissa nodded in agreement.

"You wouldn't be you without your dark hair."

I shrugged and took another oreo. "Red hair can be kinda pretty sometimes."

"**Kirova threw her hands up in exasperation and turned to him. "You see? Completely undisciplined! All the psychic bonds and _very_ raw potential in the world can't make up for that. A guardian without discipline is worse than no guardian."**

"**So teach her discipline. Classes just started. Put her back in and get her training again."**

"**Impossible. She'll still be hopelessly behind her peers."**

"**No, I won't," I argued."**

Eddie, Alberta and my mother looked up at me. "Yes," Alberta stated, "you were."

"**No one listened to me.**

**They continued on while the rest of us watched the exchange like it was a Ping-Pong game. My pride was still hurt over the ease with which Dimitri had tricked us, but it occurred to me that he might very well keep me here with Lissa. Better to stay at this hellhole than be without her. Through our bond, I could feel her trickle of hope."**

"**Who's going to put in the extra time?" demanded Kirova. "You?"**

**Dimitri's argument came to an abrupt stop. "Well, that's not what I-"**

**Kirova crossed her arms with satisfaction. "Yes. That's what I thought."**

**Clearly at a loss, he frowned. His eyes flicked toward Lissa and me, and I wondered what he saw. Two pathetic girls, looking at him with big, pleading eyes? Or two runaways who'd broken out of a high-security school and swiped half of Lissa's inheritance?"**

"Both," was his answer.

"**Yes," he said finally. "I can mentor Rose. I'll give her extra sessions along with her normal ones."**

"**And then what?" retorted Kirova angrily, "She goes unpunished?"**

"**Find some other way to punish her," answered Dimitri. "Guardian numbers have gone down too much to risk losing another. A girl, in particular."**

**His unspoken words made me shudder, reminding me of my earlier statement about "Blood whores."**

I glanced up suddenly, looking over at Viktoria, Olena and Yeva. "Uh. Sorry about that."

"**Few dhampir girls became guardians anymore.**

**Victor suddenly spoke up from his corner. "I'm inclined to agree with Guardian Belikov. Sending Rose away would be a shame, a waste of talent."**

**Ms. Kirova stared out her window. It was completely black outside. With the Academy's nocturnal schedule,"**

"Unholy schedule, more like," muttered Sydney.

"**_morning _and _afternoon_ were relative terms. That, and they kept the windows tinted to block out excess light.**

**When she turned back around, Lissa met her eyes. "Please, Ms. Kirova. Let Rose stay."**

_**Oh, Lissa**_**, I thought. ****_Be careful._****Using compulsion on another Moroi was dangerous – particularly in front of witnesses. But Lissa was only using a tiny bit, and we needed all the help we could get.**

**Fortunately, no one seemed to realise what was happening. I don't even know if the compulsion made a difference, but finally, Kirova sighed.**

"**If Miss Hathaway stays, here's how it will be." She turned to me. "Your continued enrollment at St. Vladimir's is strictly probationary. Step out of line _once_, and you're gone. You will attend all classes and required trainings for novices your age. You will also train with Guardian Belikov in every spare moment you have – before _and_ after classes. Other than that, you are banned from all social activities, except meals, and you will stay in your dorm. Fail to comply with any of this and you will be sent... away."**

**I gave a harsh laugh. "Banned from all social activities? Are you trying to keep us apart?" I nodded toward Lissa. "Afraid we'll run away again?"**

"**I'm taking precautions. As I'm sure you recall, you were never properly punished for destroying school property. You have a lot to make up for." Her thin lips tightened into a straight line. "You are being offered a generous deal. I suggest you don't let your attitude endanger it."**

**I started to say it wasn't generous at all, but then I caught Dimitri's gaze. It was hard to read. He might have been telling me he believed in me. He might have been telling me I was an idiot to keep fighting with Kirova. I didn't know." **He glanced up again. "This time," he chuckled, "it was the second one."

"**Looking away from him for the second time during the meeting, I stared at the floor, conscious of Lissa beside me and her own encouragement burning in our bond. At long last, I exhaled and glanced back up at the headmistress.**

"**Fine. I accept." **

"And that's the end of chapter... two." Dimitri chuckled. He downed his drink quickly – I didn't blame him. Long chapters – and stretched, managing to look graceful despite it. Sydney and Adrian were both staring at me in amusement, while Viktoria and Jillian appeared to be a bit surprised.

"So," I laughed, "I guess you two weren't really aware of my... uh... attitude. Uhm, this is before I learned any self control at all. So, yeah, I'm going to be saying stuff like that a lot for the next while, I think. I'm really curious," I frowned, "how did they even get all this? A Spirit user, maybe?"

Sonya looked up at me, "why do you think that?" I shrugged.

"Oksana had this thing, and so did Avery Lazar, where she could reach into your mind. She said it was very similar to compulsion. Maybe it's like that? Maybe it's just the step up – true mind reading." I shrugged again, "I don't know. You guys are the spirit experts. I'm just the expert on beating people up, doing the impossible, and not dying despite everyone in the world apparently trying to kill me."

Christian grinned, "your mind is really kinda funny, Rose."

"Yeah, well," I grumbled, "it gets worse. Like I said, this is probably the lightest one of them all. If I had to guess, this is the one that includes back when Mia was a bit of a bitch – sorry – and Victor's stuff." And, his lust charm. I'd have to figure out a way to worm myself out of that one. "Anyways, uh... who reads next?"

Christian raised a hand, "I will."


	4. Chapter 4

HE TOOK A DEEP breath, looking down at the book. With a snarky grin on his face, he began to read, attempting to mimic my voice. That lasted about, oh, three seconds before I swatted him on the back of the head and he, wisely, reconsidered.

"**SENDING US STRAIGHT TO CLASS after our meeting seemed beyond cruel, but that's exactly what Kirova did. Lissa was led away, and I watched her go, glad the bond would allow me to keep reading her emotional temperature.**

**They actually sent me to one of the guidance counsellors first. He was an ancient Moroi guy, one I remembered from before I'd left. I honestly couldn't believe he was still around. The guy was so freaking old, he should have retired. Or died." **Christian burst out laughing while Alberta looked at me with a scolding look on my face. In return, I offered a sheepish grin. When Christian recovered, he continued reading.

"**The visit took all of five minutes. He said nothing about my return and asked a few questions about what classes I'd taken in Chicago and Portland. He compared those against my old file and hastily scrawled out a new schedule. I took it sullenly and headed out to my first class.**

_**1st Period Advanced Guardian Combat Techniques**_

_**2nd Period Bodyguard Theory &amp; Personal Protection 3**_

_**3rd Period Weight Training &amp; Conditioning**_

_**4th Period Senior Language Arts (Novices)**_

_**\- Lunch -**_

_**5th Period Animal Behaviour and Physiology**_

_**6th Period Pre-calculus**_

_**7th Period Moroi Culture 4**_

_**8th Period Slavic Art**_

**Ugh. I'd forgotten how long the Academy's school day was. Novices and Moroi took separate classes during the first half of the day, which meant I wouldn't see Lisa until after lunch – if we had any afternoon classes together. Most of them were standard senior classes, so I felt my odds were pretty good. Slavic art struck me as the kind of elective no one signed up for, so hopefully they'd stuck her in there too.**

**Dimitri and Alberta escorted me to the guardians' gym for first period, neither one acknowledging my existence. Walking behind them, I saw how Alberta wore her hair in a short, pixie cut that showed her promise mark and _molnija_ marks. A lot of female guardians did this. It didn't matter so much for me now, since my neck had no tattoos yet, but I didn't want to ever cut my hair**."

I met Dimitri's eyes. He grinned.

"**She and Dimitri didn't say anything and walked along almost like it was any other day. When we arrived, the reactions of my peers indicated it was anything but. They were in the middle of setting up when we entered the gym, and just like in the commons, all eyes fell on me. I couldn't decide if I felt like a rock star or a circus freak.**

**All right, then. If i was going to be stuck here for a while, I wasn't going to act afraid of them all anymore. Lissa and I had once held this school's respect, and it was time to remind everyone of that.**

**Scanning the staring, open mouthed novices, I looked for a familiar face. Most of them were guys. One caught my eye, and I could barely hold back my grin. **

"**Hey Mason, wipe that drool off your face. If you're going to think about me naked, do it on your own time." **

I met Eddie's eyes and sighed, though there was a smile on my face. It had been a year now since Mason had been killed. A year. It didn't hurt me as much as it once had, but I still missed him. It was hard not to, he'd been a very good friend. I still blamed myself a little for my role in his death, but at the same time... It wasn't entirely my fault. Like Dimitri had said, he'd let his feelings for me get in the way of his judgement. I only wish I could have told him before that there was never anything between us. Maybe then he'd still be alive. But it was pointless to dwell on the past.

I almost laughed. By reading these books, wasn't that exactly what I was doing?

"**A few snorts and snickers broke the awed silence, and Mason Ashford snapped out of his haze, giving me a lopsided smile. With red hair that stuck up everywhere and a smattering of freckles, he was nice-looking, though not exactly hot. He was also one of the funniest guys I knew. We'd been good friends back in the day.**

"**This _is_ my time, Hathaway. I'm leading today's session."**

"**Oh yeah?" I retorted. "Huh. Well, I guess this is a good time to think about me naked, then."**

"**It's _always_ a good time to think about you naked," added someone nearby, breaking the tension further. Eddie Castile. Another friend of mine." **This time, when Eddie and I met eyes, we both grinned.

"**Dimitri shook his head and walked off, muttering something in Russian that didn't sound complimentary.**

**But as for me... well, just like that, I was one of the novices again. They were an easygoing bunch, less focused on pedigree and politics than the Moroi students.**

**The class engulfed me, and I found myself laughing and seeing those I'd nearly forgotten about. Everyone wanted to know where we'd been; apparently Lissa and I had become legends. I couldn't tell them why we'd left, of course, so I offered up a lot of taunts and wouldn't-you-like-to-knows that served just as well.**

**The happy reunion lasted a few more minutes before the adult guardian who oversaw the training came over and scolded Mason for neglecting his duties. Still grinning, he barked out orders to everyone, explaining what exercises to start with. Uneasily I realised I didn't know most of them.**

"**Come on, Hathaway," he said, taking my arm. "You can be my partner. Let's see what you've been doing all this time." **

"Absolutely nothing," I stated, sighing.

"**An hour later, he had his answer.**

"**Not practicing, huh?"**

"**Ow," I groaned, momentarily incapable of normal speech.**

**He extended a hand and helped me up from the mat he'd knocked me down on – about fifty times.**

"**I hate you," I told him, rubbing a spot on my thigh that was going to have a wicked bruise tomorrow.**

"**You'd hate me more if I held back."**

"**Yeah, that's true," I agreed, staggering along as the class put the equipment back. **

"**You actually did okay."**

"**What?" I just had my ass handed to me."**

"**Well, of course you did. It's been two years. But hey, you're still walking. That's something." He grinned mockingly.**

"**Did I mention I hate you?"**

**He flashed me another smile, which quickly faded to something more serious. "Don't take this the wrong way... I mean, you really are a scrapper, but there's no way you'll be able to take your trials in the spring -"**

"**There's making me take extra practice sessions," I explained. Not that it mattered. I planned on getting Lissa and me out of here before these practices really became an issue. "I'll be ready."**

"**Extra sessions with who?"**

"**That tall guy. Dimitri."**

**Mason stopped walking and stared at me. "You're putting in extra time with Belikov?"**

"**Yeah, so what?"**

"**So the man is a _god."_ **

Dimitri chuckled, running a hand through my hair, "is that where you got that from?" I laughed and nodded.

"I didn't believe him at first but, well..."

Christian gagged, "if you lovebirds are finished..."

I smirked at Christian, before a thought came to me, making my eyes widen in horror. "Uh. Lissa? Y'know how in the second chapter it mentioned me slipping inside your head...?"

Her eyes widened. "Oh no."

"What?" Christian blinked, looking between the two of us in confusion, "what's "oh no."?"

"Christian. Our sex life is going to be in there."

He somehow managed to go really red and really white at the same time. How...? I glanced over at Dimitri, my own cheeks pink. God, if _their _sex life was in here, that meant mine was, too. Oh, how perfect. Right in front of my parents. And his mother. And his grandmother. And his baby sister. Fuck.

Sighing, Christian continued. "**Exaggerate much?" I asked.**

"**No, I'm serious. I mean, he's all quiet and antisocial usually, but when he fights... wow. If you think you're hurting now, you're going to be dead when he's done with you."**

**Great. Something else to improve my day.**

**I elbowed him and went on to second period. That class covered the essentials of being a bodyguard and was required for all seniors. Actually, it was the third in a series that had started junior year. That meant I was behind in this class too, but I hoped protecting Lissa in the real world had given me some insight." **

My mother looked at me, "really Rose?"

"Oh god no, it's _Stan's_ class." I groaned, "his stupid fucking lecture. Ah, sorry Olena."

"**Our instructor was Stan Alto, whom we referred to simply as "Stan" behind his back and "Guardian Alto" in formal settings. He was a little older than Dimitri, but not nearly as tall, and he always looked pissed of. Today, that look intensified when he walked into the classroom and saw me sitting there. His eyes widened in mock surprise as he circled the room and came to stand beside my desk. **

"**What's this? No one told me we had a guest speaker here today. Rose Hathaway. What a privilege! How very **_**generous**_** of you to take time out of your busy schedule and share your knowledge with us." **

Mia glanced up, "what an asshole."

"I know, right?"

"**I felt my cheeks burning, but in a great show of self-control, I stopped myself from telling him to fuck off. I'm pretty sure my face must have delivered that message, **"

"It did. Very much so. And a few other choice words," Dimitri commented.

"**however, because his sneer increased. He gestured for me to stand up.**

"**Well come on, come on. Don't sit there! Come up to the front so you can help me lecture the class.**

**I sank into my seat. "You don't really mean -" **

**The taunting smile dried up. "I mean _exactly_ what I say, Hathaway. Go to the front of the class."**

**A thick silence enveloped the room. Stan was a scary instructor, and most of the class was too awed to laugh at my disgrace quite yet. Refusing to crack, I strode up to the class. I gave them a bold look and tossed my hair over my shoulders, earning a few sympathetic smiles from my friends. I then noticed I had a larger audience than expected. A few guardians – including Dimitri – lingered in the back of the room. Outside the Academy, guardians focused on one-on-one protection. Here, guardians had a lot more people to protect _and_ they had to train the novices. So rather than follow any one person around, they worked shifts guarding the school as a whole and monitoring classes.**

"**So, Hathaway," said Stan cheerfully, strolling back up to the front with me. "Enlighten us about your protective techniques."**

"**My... techniques?"**

"**Of course. Because presumably you must have ha some sort of plan the rest of us couldn't understand when you took an underage Moroi royal out of the Academy and exposed her to constant Strigoi threats."**

**It was the Kirova lecture all over again, except with more witnesses.**

"**We never ran into any Strigoi," I replied stiffly.**

"**Obviously," he said with a snicker. "I already figured that out, seeing as how you're still alive."**

**I wanted to shout that maybe I could have defeated a Strigoi, but after getting beat up in the last class, I now suspected I couldn't have survived an attack by Mason, let alone an actual Strigoi.**

**When I didn't say anything, Stan started pacing in front of the class.**

"**So what'd you do? How'd you make sure she stayed safe? Did you avoid going out at night?"**

"**Sometimes." That was true – especially when we'd first run away. We'd relaxed a little after months went by with no attacks.**

"**Sometimes," he repeated in a high-pitched voice, making my answer sound incredibly stupid. "Well then, I suppose you slept during the day and stayed on guard at night."**

"**Er... no."**

"**No? But that's one of the first things mentioned in the chapter on solo guarding. Oh wait, you wouldn't know that because _you weren't here."_**

**I swallowed back more swear words. "I watched the area whenever we went out," I said, needing to defend myself.**

"**Oh? Well that's something. Did you use Carnegie's Quadrant Surveillance Method or the Rotational Survey?"  
I didn't say anything.  
"Ah. I'm guessing you used the Hathaway Glance-Around-When-You-Remember-To Method."**

Christian glanced up, "asshole."

"Yep."

"**No!" I exclaimed angrily. "That's not true. I watched her. She's still alive, isn't she?"**

**He walked back up to me and leaned toward my face. "Because you got _lucky._"**

"**Strigoi aren't lurking around every corner out there," I shot back, "It's not like what we've been taught. It's safer than you guys make it sound."**

"Okay, so I wasn't _wrong,_" I stated awkwardly, "I mean, many guardians will go their entire life without facing a Strigoi. So long as you aren't, y'know, me. Or wind up in a big massive battle where they swarm your school. But other than that, I wasn't _wrong._ I was just a bit of an idiot."

"**Safer? _Safer? _We are at war with the Strigoi!" He yelled. I could smell the coffee on his breath, he was so close. "One of them could walk right up to you and snap your pretty little neck before you even noticed him – and he'd barely break a sweat doing it. You might have more speed and strength than a Moroi or a human, but you are nothing, _nothing, _compared to a Strigoi. They are deadly, and they are powerful. And do you know what makes them more powerful?"**

**No way was I going to let this jerk make me cry. Looking away from them, I tried to focus on something else. My eyes rested on Dimitri and the other guardians. They were watching my humiliation stone-faced.**

"**Moroi blood," I whispered.**

"**What was that?" asked Stan loudly. "I didn't catch it."**

**I spun back around to face him. "Moroi blood! Moroi blood makes them stronger."**

**He nodded in satisfaction and took a few steps back. "Yes. It does. It makes them stronger and harder to destroy. They'll kill and drink from a human or a dhampir, but they want Moroi blood more than anything else. They seek it. They've turned to the dark side to gain immortality, and they want to do whatever they can to keep that immortality. Desperate Strigoi have attacked Moroi in public. Groups of Strigoi have raided academies exactly like this one. There are Strigoi who have lived for thousands of years and fed off generations of Moroi. They're almost impossible to kill. And _that_ is why Moroi numbers are dropping. They aren't strong enough – even with guardians – to protect themselves. Some Moroi don't even see the point of running anymore and are simply turning Strigoi by choice. And as the Moroi disappear..."**

"**... so do the dhampirs," I finished.**

"**Well," he said, licking sprayed spit off his lips. "It looks like you learned something after all. Now we'll have to see if you can learn enough to pass this class and qualify for your field experience next semester."**

There as a pause as his speech finally finished. Once again I found myself trembling slightly in rage, but took a few calming breaths. No way would I lose control. Not in front of these people. Besides, I knew that the worst was to come. Maybe not in terms of Stan's rants – though he was an asshole, especially during my field experience – but in terms of stuff that would make me want to hit something. So, with a great deal of strength, I managed to calm myself down and curled back into Dimitri.

"**Ouch. I spent the rest of that horrible class – in my seat, thankfully – replaying those last words in my mind. The senior-year field experience was the best part of a novice's education. We'd have no classs for half a semester. Instead, we'd each be assigned a Moroi student to guard and follow around. The adult guardians would monitor us and test us with staged attacks and other threads. How a novice passed that field experience was almost as important as all the rest of her grades combined. It could influence which Moroi she got assigned to after graduation.**

**And me? There was only one Moroi I wanted.**

**Two classes later, I finally earned my lunch escape. As I stumbled across campus toward the commons, Dimitri fell into step beside me, not looking particularly godlike – unless you counted his godly good looks." **Christian started laughing again and I felt my cheeks heat up. With a groan I buried my head into Dimitri's shoulders. God, I wish it could go away. Dimitri chuckled, his deep honeyed laugh wrapping around me like a caress as he ran his fingers through his hair.

"Even back then?" He murmured to me. I groaned.

"I've said it before and I'll say it again, Rose," Lissa giggled, "I really wish I could read your mind."

"I'm glad you're all enjoying my humiliation." I grumbled.

"**I suppose you saw what happened in Stan's class?" I asked, not bothering with titles.**

"**Yes."**

"**And you don't think that was unfair?"**

"I did, actually," Dimitri commented, "but I couldn't say that."

"**Was he right? Do you think you were fully prepared to protect Vasilisa?"**

**I looked down at the ground. "I kept her alive," I mumbled.**

"**How did you do fighting against your classmates today?"**

**The question was mean. I didn't answer and knew I didn't need to. I'd had another training class after Stan's, and no doubt Dimitri had watched me get beat up there too.**

"**If you can't fight _them -"_**

"**Yeah, yeah, I know." I snapped.**

**He slowed his long stride to match my pain-filled one. "You're strong and fast by nature. You just need to keep yourself trained. Didn't you play any sports while you were gone?"**

"**Sure," I shrugged. "Now and then."**

"**You didn't join any teams?"**

"**Too much work. If I'd wanted to practice that much, I'd have stayed here."**

**He gave me an exasperated look. "You'll never be able to really protect the princess if you don't hone your skills. You'll always be lacking."**

"**I'll be able to protect her," I said fiercely.**

"**You have no guarantees of being assigned to her, you know – for your field experience _or _after you graduate." **

"Ain't that the truth," I muttered, catching Christian and Eddie's eye.

"**Dimitri's voice was low and unapologetic. They hadn't given me a warm and fuzzy mentor. "No one wants to waste the bond – but no one's going to give her an inadequate guardian either. If you want to be with her, then you need to work for it. You have your lessons. You have me. Use us or don't. You're an ideal choice to guard Vasilisa when you both graduate- if you can prove you're worthy. I hope you will."**

"**Lissa, call her Lissa," I corrected. She hated her full name, much preferring the Americanised nickname."**

"Thank you for that, by the way," Dimitri frowned. I looked up at him in confusion, and he clarified, "I gave you an inspirational speech, and all you could think of was to correct me on her name."

I shrugged, glancing away, "I wasn't sure what else to say."

"**He walked away, and suddenly, I didn't feel like such a badass anymore.**

**By now, I'd burned up a lot of time leaving class. Most everyone else had long since sprinted inside the commons for lunch, eager to maximise their social time. I'd almost made it back there myself when a voice under the door's overhang called to me.**

"**Rose?"**

**Peering in the voice's direction, I caught sight of Victor Dashkov, his kind face smiling at me as he leaned on a cane near the building's wall. His two guardians stood nearby at a polite distance.**

"**Mr. Dash – er, Your Highness. Hi."**

**I caught myself just in time, having nearly forgotten Moroi royal terms. I hadn't used them while living among humans. The Moroi chose their rulers from among twelve royal families. The eldest in the family got the title of "prince" or "princess." Lissa had gotten hers because she was the only one left in her line.**

"**How was your first day?" he asked.**

"**Not over yet." I tried to think of something conversational. "Are you visiting here for a while?"**

"**I'll be leaving this afternoon after I say hello to Natalie. When I heard Vasilisa – and you – had returned, I simply had to come see you." **Christian glanced up, "I don't like this guy."

"None of us do." Mia replied.

"Whatever happened to him?" Lissa asked, "last we knew, he escaped, right?" She turned to look at me, and I met her eyes for only a moment before glancing away, catching first Dimitri's eyes, then Sonya's, and then Jill's.

"I don't know," I lied.

"**I nodded, not sure what else to say. He was more Lissa's friend than mine.**

"**I wanted to tell you..." He spoke hesitantly. "I understand the gravity of what you did, but I think Headmistress Kirova failed to acknowledge something. You _did_ keep Vasilisa safe all this time. That is impressive."**

"**Well, it's not like I faced down Strigoi or anything," I said.**

"**But you faced down some things?"**

"**Sure. The school sent psi-hounds once."**

"**Remarkable."**

"**Not really. Avoiding them was pretty easy."**

**He laughed. "I've hunted with them before. They aren't _that_ easy to evade, not with their powers and intelligence." It was true. Psi-hounds were one of the many types of magical creatures that wandered the world, creatures that humans never knew about or else didn't believe they'd really seen. The hounds travelled in packs and shared a sort of psychic communication that made them particularly deadly to their prey – as did the fact that they resembled mutant wolves. "Did you face anything else?"**

**I shrugged. "Little things here and there."**

"**Remarkable," he repeated.**

"**Lucky, I think. It turns out I'm really behind in all this guardian stuff." I sounded just like Stan now.**

"**You're a smart girl. You'll catch up. And you also have your bond."**

**I looked away. My ability to "feel" Lissa had been such a secret for so long, it felt weird to have others know about it. **

"**The histories are full of stories of guardians who could feel when their charges were in danger," Victor continued. "I've made a hobby of studying up on it and some of the ancient ways. I've heard it's a tremendous asset."**

"**I guess." I shrugged. _What a boring hobby_, I thought, imagining him poring over prehistoric histories in some dank library covered in spiderwebs.**

**Victor tilted his head, curiousity all over his face. Kirova and the others had had the same look when we'd mentioned out connection, like we were lab rats. "What's it like – if you don't mind me asking?"**

Everyone looked up at me, with the _exact_ same expression I'd just described. Aside from a small few – Lissa, Dimitri maybe – not many of them really knew. I hadn't actually described it to them.

"**It's... I don't know. I just sort of always have this hum of how she feels. Usually it's just emotions. We can't send messages or anything." **

"Actually," I interrupted, "later on, Lissa actually managed to send messages to me through the bond. Obviously I could never send anything back, but it was pretty weird the first few times."

"**I didn't tell him about slipping into her head. That part of it was hard even for me to understand. **

"**But it doesn't work the other way? She doesn't sense you?"**

**I shook my head.**

**His face shone with wonder. "How did it happen?"**

"**I don't know," I said, still glancing away. "Just started two years ago."**

**He frowned. "Near the time of the accident?"**

**Hesitantly, I nodded. The accident was _not_ something I wanted to talk about, that was for sure. Lissa's memories were bad enough without my own mixing into them. Twisted metal. A sensation of hot, then cold, then hot again. Lissa screaming over me, screaming for me to wake up, screaming for her parents and her brother to wake up. None of them had, only me.**

**And the doctors said that was a miracle in itself. They said I shouldn't have survived." **

I could sense my mother looking at me, but I didn't want to look at any of them anymore. My heart was pounding in my chest as the memories threatened to overtake me again. Especially now that I knew the truth – I _hadn't_ survived. Not technically. Lissa reached up and put her hand on my knee, her pain-filled expression mirroring my own feelings. I gave her a wan smile, one that she hesitantly returned. She knew.

"**Apparently sensing my discomfort, Victor let the moment go and returned to his earlier excitement.**

"**I can still barely believe this. It's been so long since this has happened. If it did happen more often... just think of what it could do for the safety of all Moroi. If only others could experience this too. I'll have to do more research and see if we can replicate it with others."**

"Knowing you have to die to form a bond," I frowned, "his statement got a whole lot more creepier. It went from crazed mad scientist and into obsessive serial killer mode. Not like I wouldn't've put it passed him. I mean, he was a whack job even then."

My mother's head darted up, recalling what was read about the accident and how I shouldn't have survived. Her face went very pale, eyes wide. "You have to die to form a bond?" She whispered, looking between Lissa and I. I squirmed in my seat, uncomfortable.

"Y-Yeah," I said, looking away from her, "the... the one who dies – usually the guardian – winds up the one who feels the emotion and stuff."

Her face, somehow, went even more white, and even my father looked a little pale, "so that means, you..."

I hesitated before nodding, "yeah mom, I died." _And you weren't there_.

"**Yeah." I was getting impatient, despite how much I liked him. Natalie rambled a lot, and it was pretty clear which parent she'd inherited _that_ quality from. Lunch was ticking down, and although Moroi and novices shared afternoon classes, Lissa and I wouldn't have much time to talk. **

"**Perhaps we could -" He started coughing, a great seizing fit that made his whole body shake. His disease, Sandovsky's Syndrome, took the lungs down with it while dragging the body towards death. I cast an anxious look at his guardians, and one of them stepped forward. "Your Highness," he said politely, "you need to go inside. It's too cold out here."**

**Victor nodded. "Yes, yes. And I'm sure Rose here wants to eat." He turned to me. "Thank you for speaking to me. I can't emphasise how much it means to me that Vasilisa is safe – and that you helped with that. I'd promised her father I'd look after her if anything happened to him, and I felt like quite the failure when you left."**

**A sinking sensation filled my stomach as I imagined him wracked with guilt and worry over our disappearance. Until now, I hadn't really though about how others might have felt about us leaving. We made our goodbyes, and I finally arrived inside the school. As I did, I felt Lissa's anxiety spike.**

**Ignoring the pain in my legs, I picked up my pace into the commons.**

**And nearly ran right into her.**

**She didn't see me, though. Neither did the people standing with her: Aaron and that little doll girl. I stopped and listened, just catching the end of the conversation. The girl leaned toward Lissa, who seemed more stunned than anything else.**

"**It looks to _me_ like it came from a garage sale. I thought a precious Dragomir would have standards." Scorn dripped off the word _Dragomir_.**

**Grabbing Doll Girl by the shoulder, I jerked her away. She was so light, she stumbled three feet and nearly fell. "She does have standards," I said, "which is why you're done talking to her."**

I cast a look towards Mia, chuckling. "It's weird," I said, "the nice guy went evil and the evil girl went nice. Of course, the nice guy was always secretly evil but still. It's weird how that happens, huh?" Mia returned my grin and I glanced up at the clock. It'd only been an hour? It felt like an eternity. I sighed and stood up, throwing my now-empty bag of chips in the garbage. I poked my head out, "hey, does anyone want anything? Sydney?"

Sydney shook her head but stood up, following me into the kitchen. I was confused for only a moment before she went for the coffee machine. Right. That girl was as addicted to coffee more than any guardian I knew, and guardians sort of really liked their coffee. Except me, of course. I wouldn't touch the stuff. Instead, I decided to make myself a cup of hot chocolate – using double the mixture, just like Dimitri said. I leaned against the counter as I waited for my kettle to boil.

"You know," I said conversationally, "it's kind of odd, you being up. I never really put much thought into it, but I guess you're stuck on a vampiric schedule for a bit, aren't you?" She grimaced.

"Yeah," Sydney replied, "unfortunately. I don't know how you do it, Rose. Going without the sun. Then again, I guess you sort of have to, don't you? Your body can't handle much sunlight."

"What?" I blinked, "that's wrong, actually. I thought you knew that, given how much often we were in the sun during our escape from Court."

She put sugar into her coffee, "I always thought you were just... hiding how ill you were. Like a Moroi."

I shook my head, "while I would hide it if that was the case, no. Dhampirs can handle just as much sunlight as any human. We crave it, really. I miss the sun. But we do what we have to do. Moroi can't handle much sunlight, so we stay in the dark with them. On a human schedule, we can handle any sunlight. So long as we, like you, have sunblock."

Sydney frowned but said nothing else on the matter, changing the subject, "how're you taking all this?"

I shrugged, not looking at her, "I'm alright. I mean, I know things get a lot worse. Considering that first few months at St. Vlad's weren't that bad. Aside from an insane royal trying to kidnap Lissa and use her as his own personal healer. But aside from that, really, it wasn't all that bad. But it is a little hard, I guess."

"I don't know what I'd do if someone were to read _my _thoughts out to everyone."

I shook my head again, "it wouldn't happen to you. C'mon, we're only on chapter four."

* * *

**I felt like adding another chapter today. Sue me. Oh, and although you'd think it'd be obvious by now, I should probably leave a Disclaimer: I do not, have never, and never will own Vampire Academy. Those are all Richelle Mead's beauties. **


	5. Chapter 5

SYDNEY AND I SAT down in our seats once again, Dimitri chuckling when he saw what drink I had. I grinned up at him, taking another oreo and dunking it in my hot chocolate. To my dismay, I noticed the first box was almost gone – but then again, there were still a few other boxes of cookies on the table, and one of them was another box of oreos. So I could deal. I dunked another oreo and handed it to him and, despite the weird look he gave me, he popped it in his mouth. The surprised grin he gave me told me all I needed to know – oreos and hot chocolate were delicious.

"Okay," I sighed, "whose going to read my mind next?"

"I will," Lissa said softly, taking a sip from her own drink. Christian looked a little dismayed – his chapter wasn't _nearly_ snarky enough for him – but nodded, and Lissa sat up a little straighter. "Chapter four, right?" I nodded and she took a deep breath.

"**WE DIDN'T HAVE THE ENTIRE** **commons' attention this time, thank God, but a few passing people had stopped to stare.**

"**What the hell do you think you're doing?" asked Doll Girl, blue eyes wide and sparkling with fury. Up close now, I was bale to get a better look at her. She had the same slim build as most Moroi but no the usual height, which was partly what made her look so young. The tiny purple dress she wore was gorgeous – reminding me that I was indeed dressed in thrift-shop wear – but closer inspection led me to think it was a designer knock off.**

**I crossed my arms across my chest. "Are you lost, little girl? The elementary school's over on west campus."**

**A pink flush spread over her cheeks. "Don't you ever touch me again. You screw with me, and I'll screw you right back."**

I looked up at Mia, who was blushing once again. "C'mon, Mia," I laughed, "you _had _to know how bad that sounded.

"I sort of realised it the second after I said it," she muttered.

"**Oh man, what an opening that was. Only a head shake from Lissa stopped me from unleashing any number of hilarious comebacks. Instead, I opted for simple brute force, so to speak.**

"**And if you mess with either of us again, I'll break you in half. If you don't believe me, go ask Dawn Yarrow about what I did to her arm in ninth grade. You were probably at nap time when it happened."**

**The incident with Dawn hadn't been one of my finer moments. I honestly hadn't expected to break any bones when I shoved her into a tree. Still, the incident had given me a dangerous reputation, in addition to my smartass one. The story had gained legendary status, and I liked to imagine that it was still being told around campfires late at night. Judging from the look on this girl's face, it was.**

**One of the patrolling staff members strolled by right then, casting suspicious eyes at our little meeting. Doll Girl backed off, taking Aaron's arm. "Come on," she said.**

"**Hey, Aaron," I said cheerfully, remember he was there. "Nice to see you again."**

**He gave me a quick nod and an uneasy smile, just as the girl dragged him off. Same old Aaron. He might be nice and cute, but aggressive he was not. **

**I turned to Lissa. "You okay?" she nodded. "Any idea who I just threatened to beat up?"**

"**Not a clue." I started to lead her toward the lunch line, but she shook her head at me. "Gotta go see the feeders."**

**A funny feeling settled over me. I'd gotten so used to being her primary blood source that the thought of returning to the Moroi's normal routine seemed strange. In fact, it almost bothered me. It shouldn't have.**

**Daily feedings were part of a Moroi's life, something I hadn't been able to offer her while living on our own. It had been an inconvenient situation, one that left me weak on feeding days and her weak on the days in between. I should have been happy she would get some normality.**

**I forced a smile. "Sure."**

**We walked into the feeding room, which sat adjacent to the cafeteria. It was set up with small cubicles, diving the room's space in an effort to offer privacy. A dark-haired Moroi woman greeted us at the entrance and glanced down at her clipboard, flipping through the pages. Finding what she needed, she made a few notes and then gestured for Lissa to follow. Me she gave a puzzled look, but she didn't stop me from entering. **

**She led us to one of the cubicles where a plump middle-aged woman sat leafing through a magazine. She looked up at our approach and smiled. In our eyes, I could see the dreamy, glazed-over look most feeders had. She'd probably neared her quota for the day, judging from how high she appeared to be. Recognising Lissa, her smile grew. "Welcome back, Princess."**

**The greeter left us, and Lissa sat down in the chair beside the woman. I sensed a feeling of discomfort in her, a little different from my own. This was weird for her too; it had been a long time. The feeder, however, had no such reservations. An eager look crossed her face – the look of a junkie about to get her next fix.**

**Disgust poured into me. It was an old instinct, one that had been drilled in over the years. Feeders were essential to Moroi life. They were humans who willingly volunteered to be a regular blood source, humans from the fringes of society who gave their lives over to the secret world of the Moroi. They wee well cared for and given all the comforts they could need. But at the heart of it, they were drug users, addicts to Moroi saliva and the rush it offered with each bite. The Moroi – and guardians – looked down on this dependency, even though the Moroi couldn't have survived otherwise unless they took victims by force. Hypocrisy at its finest."**

Sydney glanced at me, surprised. I don't think she ever realised how disdainful we were of the feeders. She probably assumed it was just a regular thing for us, something we never even paid attention to anymore. And, in a way, it kind of was.

"**The feeder tilted her head, giving Lissa full access to her neck. Her skin there was marked with scars from years of daily bites. The infrequent feedings Lissa and I had done had kept my neck clear; my bite marks never lasted more than a day or so.**

**Lissa leaned forward, fangs biting into the feeder's yielding flesh. The woman closed her eyes, making a soft sound of pleasure. I swallowed, watching Lissa drink. I couldn't see any blood, but I could imagine it. A surge of emotion grew in my chest: longing. Jealousy. I averted my eyes, staring at the floor. **

**Mentally, I scolded myself.**

**What's wrong with you? Why should you miss it? You only did it once every day. You aren't addicted, not like this. And you don't want to be. But I couldn't help myself, couldn't help the way I felt as I recalled the bliss and rush of a vampire's bite.**

**Lissa finished and we returned to the commons, moving toward the lunch line. It was short, since we only had fifteen minutes left, and I strolled up and began to load my plate with french fries and some rounded, bite-size objects that looked vaguely like chicken nuggets. Lissa only grabbed a yogurt. Moroi needed food, as dhampirs and humans did, but rarely had an appetite after drinking blood.**

"**So how'd classes go?" I asked.**

**She shrugged. Her face was bright with colour and life now. "Okay. Lots of stares. A **_**lot**_** of stares. Lots of questions about where we were. Whispering."**

"**Same here," I said. The attendant checked us out, and we walked toward the tables. I gave Lissa a sidelong glance. "You okay with that? They aren't bothering you, are they?"**

"**No – it's fine." The emotions coming through the bond contradicted her words. Knowing I could feel that, she tried to change the subject by handing me her class schedule. I looked it over.**

_**1****st**** Period Russian 2**_

_**2****nd**** Period American Colonial Literature**_

_**3****rd**** Period Basics of Elemental Control**_

_**4****th**** Period Ancient Poetry**_

_**\- Lunch -**_

_**5****th**** Period Animal Behaviour and Physiology**_

_**6****th**** Period Advanced Calculus**_

_**7****th**** Period Moroi Culture 4**_

_**8****th**** Period Slavic Art**_

"**Nerd," I said. "If you were in Stupid Math like me, we'd have the same afternoon schedule." I stopped walking. "Why are you in elemental basics? That's a sophomore class."**

**She eyed me. "Because seniors take specialised classes."**

I glanced up. "I wonder if, now they know about Spirit, they're going to add Spirit as a specialised class?" Lissa looked thoughtful.

"Possibly. Maybe not. I don't know."

"**We fell silent at that. All Moroi wielded elemental magic. It was one of the things that differentiated living vampires from Strigoi, the dead vampires. Moroi viewed magic as a gift. It was part of their souls and connected them to the world. **

**A long time ago, they had used their magic openly, averting natural disasters and helping with things like food and water production. They didn't need to do that as much anymore, but the magic was still in their blood. It burned in them and made them want to reach out to the earth and wield their power. Academies like this existed to help Moroi control the magic and learn how to do increasingly complex things with it. Students also had to learn the rules that surrounded magic, rules that had been in place for centuries and were strictly enforced.**

**All Moroi had a small ability in each element. When they got to be around our age, students "specialised" when one element grew stronger than the others: earth, water, fire, or air. Not specialising was like not going through puberty.**

**And Lissa... well, Lissa hadn't specialised yet.**

"**Is Ms. Carmack still teaching that? What'd she say?"**

"**She says she's not worried. She thinks it'll come."**

"**Did you – did you tell her about -"**

**Lissa shook her head. "No. Of course not."**

"What?" Viktoria blinked, looking at Lissa and I.

"You'll see."

"**We let the subject drop. It was one we thought about a lot but rarely spoke of.**

**We started moving again, scanning the tables as we decided where to sit. A few pairs of eyes looked up at us with blatant curiousity.**

"**Lissa!" came a nearby voice. Glancing over, we saw Natalie waving at us. Lissa and I exchanged looks. **

**Natalie was sort of Lissa's cousin in the way Victor was sort of her uncle, but we'd never hung out with her all that much.**

**Lissa shrugged and headed in that direction. "Why not?"**

**I followed reluctantly. Natalie was nice but also one of the most uninteresting people I knew. Most royals at the school enjoyed a kind of celebrity status, but Natalie had never fit in with that crowd. She was too plain, too uninterested in the politics of the Academy, and too clueless to really navigate them anyway. Natalie's friends eyed us with a quiet curiousity, but she didn't hold back. She threw her arms around us. Like Lissa, she had jade-green eyes, but her hair was jet black, like Victor's had been before his disease greyed it."**

"Here we go..." I muttered, glancing down at the rambling speech on the paper. Lissa grinned and attempted to mimic her voice as she read it out.

"**You're back! I knew you would be! Everyone said you were gone forever, but I never believed that. I knew you couldn't stay away. Why'd you go? There are so many stories about why you left!" Lissa and I exchanged glances as Natalie prattled on. "Camille said one of you got pregnant and went off to have an abortion, but I knew that couldn't be true. Someone else said you went off to hang out with Rose's mom, but I figured Ms. Kirova and Daddy wouldn't have been so upset if you'd turned up there. Did you know we might get to be roommates? I was talking to..." On and on she chatted, flashing her fangs as she spoke. I smiled politely, letting Lissa deal with the onslaught until Natalie asked a dangerous question.**

"**What'd you do for blood, Lissa?"**

**The table regarded us questioningly. Lissa froze, but I immediately jumped in, the lie coming effortlessly to my lips. "Oh, it's easy. There are a lot of humans who want to do it."**

"**Really?" asked one of Natalie's friends, wide-eyed.**

"**Yup. You find 'em at parties and stuff. They're all looking for a fix from something, and they don't really get that a vampire's doing it: most are already so wasted they don't remember anyway." My already vague details dried up, so I simply shrugged in as cool and confident a way as I could manage. It wasn't like any of them knew any better. "Like I said, it's easy. Almost easier than with our own feeders."**

**Natalie accepted this and then launched into some some other topic. Lissa shot me a grateful look.**

**Ignoring the conversation again, I took in the old faces, trying to figure out who was hanging out with whom and how power had shifted within the school. Mason, sitting with a group of novices, caught my eye, and I smiled. Near him, a group of Moroi royals sat, laughing over something. Aaron and the blond girl sat there too.**

"**Hey, Natalie," I said, turning around and cutting her off. She didn't seem to notice or mind. "Who's Aaron's new girlfriend?"**

"**Huh? Oh. Mia Rinaldi." Seeing my blank look, she asked, "Don't you remember her?"**

"**Should I? Was she here when we left?"**

"**She's always been here," said Natalie. "She's only a year younger than us."**

**I shot a questioning look at Lissa, who only shrugged.**

"**Why is she so pissed off at us?" I asked. "Neither of us know her."**

"**I don't know," answered Natalie. "Maybe she's jealous about Aaron. She wasn't much of anybody when you guys left. She got _really_ popular _really f_ast. She isn't royal or anything, but once she started dating Aaron, she -"**

"**Okay, thanks," I interrupted. "It doesn't really - "**

**My eyes lifted up from Natalie's face to Jesse Zeklos's, just as he passed by our table."**

Dimitri muttered something under his breath.

"**Ah, Jesse. I'd forgotten about him. I liked flirting with Mason and some of the other novices, but Jesse was in an entirely different category. You flirted with the other guys simply for the sake of flirting. You flirted with Jesse in the hopes of getting semi-naked with him. He was a royal Moroi, and he was so hot, he should have worn a warning: flammable sign. He met my eyes and grinned.**

"**Hey Rose, welcome back. You still breaking hearts?"**

"**Are you volunteering?"**

**His grin widened. "Let's hang out sometime and find out. If you ever get parole."**

**He kept walking, and I watched him admiringly. Natalie and her friends stared at me in awe. I might not be a god in the Dimitri sense, but with this group, Lissa and I _were_ gods – or at least former gods – of another nature.**

"**Oh my gawd," exclaimed on girl. I didn't remember her name. "That was _Jesse._"**

"**Yes," I said, smiling. "It certainly was."**

"**I wish I looked like you," she added with a sigh.**

**Their eyes fell on me. Technically, I was half-Moroi but my looks were human. I'd blended in well with humans during our time away, so much so that I'd barely thought about my appearance at all. Here, among the slim and small-chested Moroi girls, certain features – meaning my larger breasts and more defined hips – stood out. I knew I was pretty, but to Moroi boys, my body was more than just pretty: it was sexy in a risque way. Dhampirs were an exotic conquest, a novelty all Moroi guys wanted to "try."**

"Rose," my mother warned. Dimitri, too, had a dark expression. I groaned.

"Hey! This was back when I was still irresponsible. Well, more irresponsible. I've changed now."

"**It was ironic that dhampirs had such an allure here, because slender Moroi girls looked very much like the super-skinny runway models so popular in the human world. Most humans could never reach that "ideal" skinniness, just as Moroi girls could never look like me. Everyone wanted what she couldn't have.**

**Lissa and I got to sit together in our shared afternoon classes but didn't do much talking. The stares she'd mentioned certainly did follow us, but I found that the more I talked to people, the more they warmed up. Slowly, gradually, they seemed o remember who we were, and the novelty – though not the intrigue – of our crazy stunt wore off.**

**Or maybe I should say, they remembered who _I _was. Because I was the only one talking. Lissa stared straight ahead, listening but neither acknowledging nor participating in my attempts at conversation. I could feel anxiety and sadness pouring out of her.**

"**All right," i told her when classes finally ended. We stood outside the school, and I was fully aware that in doing so, I was already breaking the terms of my agreement with Kirova. "We're not staying here," I told her, looking around the campus uneasily. "I'm going to find a way to get us out."**

"**You think we could really do it a second time?" Lissa asked quietly.**

"**Absolutely," I spoke with certainty, again relieved she couldn't read my feelings." **Lissa glanced up, glanced back at the book, then grinned. "Well. Now I can." She remarked before continuing, "**Escaping the first time had been tricky enough. Doing it again would be a real bitch, not that I couldn't still find a way.**

"**You really would, wouldn't you?" She smiled, more to herself than to me, like she'd thought of something funny. "Of course you would. It's just, well..." She sighed. "I don't know if we should go. Maybe – maybe we should stay."**

**I blinked in astonishment. "What?" Not one of my more eloquent answers, but the best I could manage. I never expected this from her.**

"**I saw you, Rose. I saw you talking to the other novices during class, talking about practice. You miss that."**

"**It's not worth it," I argued, "Not if... not if _you_..." I couldn't finish, but she was right. She'd read me. I _had _missed the other novices. Even some of the Moroi. But there was more to it than just that. The weight of my inexperience, how much I'd fallen behind, had been growing all day.**

"**It might be better," she countered. "I haven't had as many... you know, things happening in a while. I haven't felt like anyone was following or watching us."**

**I didn't say anything to that. Before we'd left the Academy, she'd always felt like someone was following her, like she was being hunted. I'd never seen evidence to support that, but I had once heard one of the teachers go on and on about the same sort of thing." **

I groaned again. "Here we go. Sorry in advance, Ms. Ka-Son-Uh. Sonya?"

Sonya laughed, "Sonya's fine. And it's alright."

"**Ms. Karp. She'd been a pretty Moroi, with deep auburn hair and high cheekbones." **Sonya looked up at me in surprise.

"Thank you, Rose."

"You're welcome."

"**And I was pretty sure she'd been crazy."**

"**You never know who's watching," she used to say, walking briskly around the classroom as she shut all the blinds. "Or who's following you. Best to be safe. Best to _always_ be safe." We'd snickered amongst ourselves because that's what students do around eccentric and paranoid teachers. The thought of Lissa acting like her bothered me.**

"**What's wrong?" Lissa asked, noticing I was lost in thought.**

"**Huh? Nothing. Just thinking." I sighed, trying to balance my own wants with what was best for her. "Liss, we can stay, I guess... but there are a few conditions."**

**This made her laugh. "A Rose ultimatum, huh?"**

"**I'm serious." Words I didn't say very much. "I want you to stay away from the royals. Not like Natalie or anything but you know, the others. The power players. Camille. Carly. That group."**

**Her amusement turned to astonishment. "Are you serious?"**

"**Sure. You never liked them anyway."**

"**You did."**

"**No. Not really. I liked what they could offer. All the parties and stuff."**

"**And you can go without that now?" She looked skeptical. **

"**Sure. We did in Portland."**

"**Yeah, but that was different." Her eyes stared off, not really focused on any one thing. "Here... _here_ I've got to be a part of that. I can't avoid it."**

"**The hell you do. Natalie stays out of that stuff."**

"**Natalie isn't going to inherit her family's title," she retorted. "I've already go t it. I've got to be involved, start making connections. Andre-" **

"**Liss," I groaned. "You _aren't_ Andre." I couldn't believe she was still comparing herself to her brother.**

"**He was always involved in all that stuff."**

"**Yeah, well," I snapped back, "he's _dead_ now."**

There was a pause, and a few of our friends glanced up from Lissa and their books to look at me, astonished that I would say something like that. I didn't really have anything to say. Sometimes you needed to tell someone the harsh truth.

"**Her face hardened. "You know, sometimes you aren't very nice."**

"**You don't keep me around to be nice. You want nice, there are a dozen sheep in there who would rip each other's throats to get in good with the Dragomir princess. You keep me around to tell you the truth, and here it is: Andre's dead. You're the heir now, and you're going to deal with it however you can. But for now, that means staying away from the other royals. We'll just lie low. Coast through the middle. Get involved in that stuff again, Liss, and you'll drive yourself..."**

"**Crazy?" she supplied when I didn't finish.**

**Now I looked away. "I didn't mean..."**

"**It's okay," she said, after a moment. She sighed and touched my arm. "Fine. We'll stay and we'll keep out of all that stuff. We'll "coats through the middle" like you want. Hang out with Natalie, I guess."**

**To be perfectly honest, I didn't want any of that. I wanted to go to all the royal parties and wild drunken festivities like we'd done before. We'd kept out of that life for years until Lissa's parents and brother died. Andre should have been the one to inherit her family's title, and he'd certainly acted like it. Handsome and outgoing, he'd charmed everyone he knew and had been a leader in all the royal cliques and clubs that existed on campus. After his death, Lissa had felt it was her family duty to take his place.**

**I'd gotten to join that world with her. It was easy for me, because I didn't really have to deal with the politics of it. I was a pretty dhampir, one who didn't mind getting into trouble and pulling crazy stunts. I became a novelty; they liked having me around for the fun of it.**

**Lissa had to deal with other matters. The Dragomirs were one of the twelve ruling families. She'd have a very powerful place in Moroi society, and the other young royals wanted to get in good with her. Fake friends tried to schmooze her and get her to team up against other people. The royals could bribe and backstab in the same breath – and that was just with _each other_. To dhampirs and non-royals, they were completely unpredictable. **

**That cruel culture had eventually taken its toll on Lissa. She had an open, kind nature, one that I loved, and I hated to see her upset and stressed by royal games. She'd grown fragile since the accident, and all the parties in the world weren't worth seeing her hurt.**

"**All right then," I said finally. "We'll see how this goes. If anything goes wrong – anything at all – we leave. No arguments." **

Mia blinked, "You know. I mean, I'm glad you guys didn't leave and all that, but it's weird how you said that if anything went wrong you'd leave, but then when things did start going wrong, you stayed. It's cool and all, but still weird."

I frowned, "I think part of that had to do with my crush on Dimitri at the time," Dimitri blinked down at me, "and part of it... I don't know. I'd just dug my heels in."

"**She nodded.**

"**Rose?"  
We both looked up at Dimitri's looming form. I hoped he hadn't heard the part about us leaving." **

"I hadn't." Dimitri confirmed.

"**You're late for practice," he said evenly. Seeing Lissa, he gave a polite nod. "Princess."**

**As he and I walked away, I worried about Lissa and wondered if staying here was the right thing to do. I felt nothing alarming through the bond, but her emotions spiked all over the place. Confusion. Nostalgia. Fear. Anticipation. Strong and powerful, they flooded into me.**

**I felt the pull just before it happened. It was exactly like what had happened on the plane: her emotions grew so strong that they "sucked" me int her head before I could stop them. I could now see and feel what she did.**

**She walked slowly around the commons, toward the small Russian Orthodox chapel that served most of the school's religious needs. Lissa had always attended mass regularly. Not me. I had a standing arrangement with God: I'd agree to believe in him – barely – so long as he let me sleep in on Sundays."**

"Rose..." that was Sydney.

"**But as she went inside, I could feel that she wasn't there to pray. She had another purpose, one I didn't know about. Glancing around, she verified that neither the priest nor any worshippers were close by. The place was empty. Slipping through a doorway in the back of the chapel, she climbed a narrow set of creaky stairs up into the attic. Here it was dark and dusty. The only light came through a large stained-glass window that fractured the faint glow of sunrise into tiny, multicoloured gems across the floor.**

**I hadn't known until that moment that this room was a regular retreat for Lissa. But now I could feel it, feel her memories of how she used to escape here to be alone and to think. The anxiety in her ebbed away ever so slightly as she took in the familiar surroundings. She climbed up into the window seat and leaned her head back against its side, momentarily entranced by the silence and the light. Moroi could stand some sunlight, unlike the Strigoi, but they had to limit their exposure. Sitting here, she could almost pretend she was in the sun, protected by the glass's dilution of the rays.**

_**Breathe, just breathe**_**, she told herself. **_**It'll be okay. Rose will take care of everything.**_

**She believed that passionately, like always, and relaxed further. Then a low voice spoke from the darkness.**

"**You can have the Academy but not the window seat."**

**She sprang up, heart pounding. I shared her anxiety, and my own pulse quickened. "Who's there?"**

**A moment later, a shape rose from behind a stack of crates, just outside her field of vision. The figure stepped forward, and in the poor lighting, familiar features materialised. Messy black hair. Pale blue eyes. A perpetually sardonic smirk.**

**Christian Ozera." **Lissa smiled at Christian and I resisted the urge to gag.

"Well, it's about time I showed up," Christian smirked.

"**Don't worry," he said. "I won't bite. Well, at least not in the way you're afraid of." He chuckled at his own joke. She didn't find it funny. She had completely forgotten about Christian. So had I."**

"Thanks Rose."

"Welcome, creep."

"**No matter what happened in our world, a few basic truths about vampires remained the same. Moroi were alive; Strigoi were undead. Moroi were mortal; Strigoi were immortal. Moroi were born; Strigoi were _made_.**

**And there were two ways to make a Strigoi. Strigoi could forcibly turn humans, dhampirs, or Moroi with a single bite. Moroi tempted by the promise of immortality could become Strigoi by choice if they purposely killed another person while feeding. Doing that was considered dark and twisted, the greatest of all sins, both against the Moroi way of life and nature itself. Moroi who chose this dark path lost their ability to connect with elemental magic and other powers of the world. That was why they could no longer go into the sun.**

**This is what had happened to Christian's parents. They were Strigoi."**

"Wow," Christian scowled a little, "what a way to end the chapter."

"Hey," I shrugged a little, feeling only a little bad, "there were no fuzzy feelings back then. I didn't like you and you didn't like me. And it's only going to get worse before it gets better." Christian scowled a little more but nodded.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever." He huffed. He stood and stretched. "I have to use the bathroom, I'll be right back. Don't start without me." He moved to the spiral staircase in the corner of the room, near where the feeders were and started upstairs. Lissa glanced at me.

"I need to use the feeder, actually." I nodded and, as she stood up, so did I. We walked over to the feeder's room, and I couldn't help but notice that there were a lot of flowers and plants wherever we went. Whoever had decorated this place sure had a thing for plants, between the gardens outside, the forests and now the gardens and forests inside, apparently. We stepped through the double doors, and I couldn't help but look in surprise.

Alberta wasn't really one for details. She noted the important things – dressers and beds, doors, windows, weird speakers on the walls – but that was about it. The floors had the same dark hardwood through out. The room was sectioned off into two areas – the feeder part, and where the feeders were apparently staying. The walls, a deep red – which was in bad taste, if you asked me – had very little decoration in the feeder part, but there were cubicles to at least section off each feeder. Less embarrassing for the Moroi that way. Cubicle was sort of an optimistic term, really. Half walls with little glass panes at the top. In each cubicle sat comfortable loungers, with a small round seat with cushions for the Moroi beside. At the end of the lounger was a round table where magazines and snacks and lights stood, for feeders to pass the time. The lights were pretty neat, as far as lights went anyways – a string of round lights in a row, hanging on the wall. There was some sort of fancy Persian carpet on the ground. Wooden bedroom dividers separated the living part from the feeding part, but from what I could see it appeared to be rather comfortable, yet modest. A small kitchenette in one space, an enclosed area that was likely a small bathroom, a loveseat, a small tv, book case, dressers and three beds. Day beds, I think they were called. I would have gone for bunk beds but, then again, there was always the risk of a feeder injuring themselves on one of those. The carpet was fuzzy and plush, an off white colour. More like cream, I think. Comfortable and cozy, but I still couldn't help but be creeped out – these were feeders, after all. And, of course, there were lights. My eyesight may not have been as good as a Moroi's, but to a human, it was infinitely better. And given that the windows had black out curtains, just like the rest of the house, well they needed quite a bit of light.

Lissa smiled and walked into one of the cubicles. They were all rather young – not, like, 12 or anything, but in their early or mid twenties – and rather attractive too, for feeders. Lissa's was a woman. Round cheeks, warm brown hair that curled under her chin, golden, dreamy eyes and freckles galore. Like Mia, she had the curse of looking like a child, but I knew she had to be _at least_ eighteen. No one would accept feeders under the age of consent, after all.

Well, I didn't know that. I mean, we didn't even know who The Author was. For all I knew, they could really be a creep that way. Still, I felt better thinking that she was probably at the very least my age. When Lissa asked her name, I think she said something like "Elise." But there wasn't much in terms of conversation – clearly it'd been a little while since Elise had had a bite. She tilted her head back, revealing a few bite scars but definitely not that many – like I said, young feeder – and Lissa sank her fangs into her flesh, drinking from her. It didn't take long – less than a minute. She didn't need that much. A happy, goofy smile settled in over the feeder's face and, accepting a tissue from me, Lissa wiped her lips and we returned to our spots in the living room.

"Better?" Christian asked, noting the colouring in her cheeks. Lissa flopped down, grabbed a cookie and nodded, curling into his embrace.

"Much."

Sydney looked a little nauseous, and yelped when Adrian moved to whisper in her ear. However, much to my surprise, whatever he seemed to say to her calmed her. Huh. Wonder what that was about. I didn't have time to question it, however, as Mia decided to sit up.

* * *

**Holy shit. So, I went and reread the Bloodlines series. Except, it'd been so long and I had only read up until Indigo Spell. And now... Silver Shadows. Wow. How could they end like that? How can I last until the next book? Wow. Anyways, enjoy!**


	6. Chapter 6

"MY TURN," MIA NODDED, turning the page in her book. I made a quick count. With Lissa done, and Mia starting, that left eleven more people to read – not counting Yeva. I wasn't sure if she was going to read for us or not. It was debateable. My eyes glanced over at the clock on the wall and I nodded.

"Alright, but after this chapter, we break for lunch, okay?" I said.

"Haven't you been eating all morning?" Mikhail laughed. I shrugged, unashamed.

"Hey, girl's gotta eat. Plus this is just snack food. It's not going to keep me going."

Olena smiled and reached over to pat my knee, "I'll cook us something. Don't worry." I flashed her an easy grin, glancing up at Dimitri, who seemed rather pleased that his mother and I got along. A sudden thought made me laugh – had we been a normal couple, in a normal universe, she'd be my mother in law. And I could live with that. Dimitri's mother in law, on the other hand... well, that would be another story in itself. Dimitri gave me an amused look.

"What're you thinking about?"

"Just... how interesting our family is," I murmured in reply. He chuckled.

Mia looked between us, "can I start now?" I nodded. "Alright."

"**OR RATHER, THEY _HAD _BEEN Strigoi. A regiment of guardians had hunted them down and killed them. If rumours were true, Christian had witnessed it all when he was very young. And although he wasn't Strigoi himself, some people thought he wasn't far off, with the way he always wore black and kept to himself. **

**Strigoi or not, I didn't trust him. He was a jerk, and I silently screamed at Lissa to get out o there – not that my screaming did much good. Stupid one-way bond.**

"**What are you doing here?" she asked.**

"**Taking in the sights, of course. That chair with the tarp on it is particularly lovely this time of year. Over there, we have an old box full of the writings of the blessed and crazy St. Vladimir. And let's not forget that beautiful table with no legs in the corner."**

"**Whatever." She rolled her eyes and moved toward the door, wanting to leave, but he blocked her way.**

"**Well, what about _you?"_ he taunted. "Why are you up here? Don't you have parties to go to or lives to destroy?"**

**Some of Lissa's old spark returned. "Wow, that's hilarious. Am I like a rite of passage now? Go and see if you can piss off Lissa to prove how cool you are? Some girl I don't even know yelled at me today, and now I've got to deal with you? What does it take to be left alone?"**

"**Oh. So that's why you're up here. For a pity party."**

"**This isn't a joke. I'm serious." I could tell Lissa was getting angry. It was trumping her earlier distress.**

**He shrugged and leaned casually against the sloping wall. "So am I. I love pity parties. I wish I'd brought the hats. What do you want to mope about first? How it's going to take you a whole day to be popular and loved again? How you'll have to wait a couple weeks before Hollister can ship out some new clothes? If you spring for rush shipping, it might not be so long."**

"**Let me leave," she said angrily, this time pushing him aside.**

"**Wait," he said, as she reached the door. The sarcasm disappeared from his voice. "What... um, what was it like?"**

"**What was _what _like?" She snapped.**

"**Being out there. Away from the Academy."**

**She hesitated for a moment before answering, caught off guard by what seemed like a genuine attempt at conversation. "It was great. No one knew who I was. I was just another face. Not Moroi. Not royal. Not anything." She looked down at the floor. "Everyone here thinks they know who I am."**

"**Yeah. It's kind of hard to outlive your past." he said bitterly.**

**It occurred to Lissa at that moment – and me, too, by default – just how hard it might be to be Christian. Most of the time, people treated him like he didn't exist. Like he was a ghost. They didn't talk to or about him. They just didn't notice him. The stigma of his parents' crime was to strong, casting its shadow onto the entire Ozera family.**

**Still, he'd pissed her off, and she wasn't about to feel sorry for him.**

"**Wait –is this your pity party now?"**

**He laughed, almost approvingly. "This room has been my pity party for a year now."**

"**Sorry," said Lissa snarkily. "I was coming here before I left. I've got a longer claim."**

"**Squatters' rights. Besides, I have to make sure I stay near the chapel as much as possible so people know I haven't gone Strigoi... yet." Again, the bitter tone rang out.**

"**I used to always see you at mass. Is that the only reason you go? To look good?" Strigoi couldn't enter holy ground. More of that sinning-against-the-world thing.**

"**Sure," he said. "Why else go? For the good of your _soul?"_**

"**Whatever," said Lissa, who clearly had a different opinion. "I'll leave you alone then."**

"**Wait," he said again. He didn't see to want her to go."**

"Aww."

"Shut it."

"**I'll make you a deal. You can hang out here too if you tell me one thing."**

"**What?" She glanced back at him.**

**He leaned forward. "Of all the rumours I heard about you today – and believe me, I heard plenty, even if no one actually told them to me – there was one that didn't come up very much. They dissected everything else: why you left, what you did out there, why you came back, the specialisation, what Rose said to Mia, blah, blah, blah. And in all of that, no one ever questioned that stupid story that Rose told about there being all sorts of fringe humans who let you take blood."**

**She looked away, and I could feel her cheeks starting to burn. "It's not stupid. Or a story."**

**He laughed softly. "I've lived with humans. My aunt and I stayed away after my parents... died. It's not that easy to find blood." When she didn't answer, he laughed again. "It was Rose, wasn't it? She fed you."**

**A renewed fear shot through both her and me. No one at school could know about that. Kirova and the guardians on the scene knew, but they'd kept that knowledge to themselves.**

"**Well. If that's not friendship, I don't know what it is," he said.**

"**You can't tell anyone," she blurted out.**

**This was all we needed. As I'd just been reminded, feeders were vampire-bite addicts. We accepted that as part of life but still looked down on them for it. For anyone else – _especially _a dhampir – letting a Moroi take blood from you was almost, well, dirty. In fact, one of the kinkiest, practically pornographic things a dhampir could do was let a Moroi drink blood during sex. **

**Lissa and I hadn't had sex, of course, but we'd both known what others would think of me feeding her.**

"**Don't tell anyone," Lissa repeated.**

**He stuffed his hands in his coat pockets and sat down on one of the crates. "Who am I going to tell? Look, go grab the window seat. You can have it today and hang out for a while. If you're not still afraid of me." **

**She hesitated, studying him. He looked dark and surly, lips curled in a sort of I'm-such-a-rebel smirk. But he didn't look too dangerous. He didn't look Strigoi. Gingerly, she sat back down in the window seat, unconsciously rubbing her arms against the cold.**

**Christian watched her, and a moment later, the air warmed up considerably.**

**Lissa met Christian's eyes and smiled, surprised she'd never noticed how icy blue they were before. "You specialised in fire?"**

**He nodded and pulled up a broken chair. "Now we have luxury accommodations.**

**I snapped out of the vision."**

"Do you have any idea how panicked I was, that first time?" Dimitri laughed suddenly, "You had just frozen up, and stopped blinking. Your face was blank, like you'd gone away, but yet you were also making facial expressions the whole time. It was... odd. I almost had a heart attack."

I grinned and kissed his cheek, "sorry Comrade."

"**Rose? Rose?"**

**Blinking, I focused on Dimitri's face. He was leaning toward me, his hands gripping my shoulders. I'd stopped walking; we stood in the middle of the quad separating the upper school buildings. **

"**Are you all right?"**

"**I... yeah. I was... I was with Lissa..." I put a hand to my forehead. I'd never had such a long or clear experience like that. "I was in her head."**

"**Her... head?"**

"**Yeah. It's part of the bond." I didn't really feel like elaborating."**

"**Is she all right?"**

"**Yeah, she's..." I hesitated. _Was_ she all right? Christian Ozera had just invited her to hang out with him. Not good. There was "coasting through the middle," and then there was turning to the dark side. But the feelings humming through our bond were no longer scared or upset. She was almost content, though still a little nervous. "She's not in danger," I finally said. I hoped.**

"**Can you keep going?"**

**The hard, stoic warrior I'd met earlier was gone – just for a moment – and he actually looked concerned. Truly concerned. Feeling his eyes on me like that made something flutter inside of me – which was stupid, of course. I had no reason to get all goofy just because the man was too good-looking for his own good."**

Dimitri chuckled, "thank you, Roza." Christian gagged.

"**After all, he was an antisocial god, according to Mason. One who was supposedly going to leave me in all sorts of pain.**

"**Yeah. I'm fine."**

**I went into the gym's dressing room and changed into the workout clothes someone had finally thought to give me after a day of practicing in jeans and a T-shirt. Gross. Lissa hanging out with Christian troubled me, but I shoved that thought away for later as my muscles informed me they did not want to go through anymore exercise today. So I suggested to Dimitri that maybe he should let me off this time.**

**He laughed, and I was pretty sure it was **_**at**_** me and not **_**with **_**me.**

"**Why is that funny?"**

"**Oh," he said, his smile dropping. "You were serious."**

"**Of course I was! Look, I've technically been awake for **_**two**_** days. Why do we have to start this training now? Let me go to bed," I whined. "It's just one hour."**

**He crossed his arms and looked down at me. His earlier concern was gone. He was all business now. Tough love. "How do you feel right now? After the training you've done so far?"**

"**I hurt like hell."**

"**You'll feel worse tomorrow."**

"**So?"**

"**So, better to jump in now while you still feel... not as bad."**

"That really was shit logic, Comrade," I teased, "I love you, but it's true." He chuckled.

"I know. But it was all I had."

"**What kind of logic is that?" I retorted.**

**But I didn't argue anymore as he led me into the weight room. He showed me the weights and reps he wanted me to do, then sprawled in a corner with a battered Western novel. Some god.**

**When I finished, he stood beside me and demonstrated a few cool-down stretches. **

"**How'd you end up as Lissa's guardian?" I asked. "You weren't here a few years ago. Were you even trained at this school?"**

**He didn't answer right away. I got the feeling he didn't talk about himself very often. "No. I attended the one in Siberia."**

"**Whoa. That's got to be the only place worse than Montana." **

**A glint of something – maybe amusement – sparked in his eyes, but he didn't acknowledge the joke. "After I graduated, I was a guardian for a Zeklos lord. He was killed recently." His smile dropped, his face grew dark. "They sent me here because they needed extras on campus. When the princess turned up, they assigned me to her, since I'd already be around. Not that it matters until she leaves campus."**

**I thought about what he'd said before. Some Strigoi killed the guy he was supposed to have been guarding? "Did this lord die on your watch?"**

"**No. He was with his other guardian. I was away."**

"Oh Dimka..." Olena frowned, "you don't blame yourself do you?"

Dimitri looked away, not answering. I had figured that out a long time ago.

"**He fell silent, his mind obviously somewhere else. The Moroi expected a lot from us, but they did recognise that the guardians were – more or less – only human. So, guardians got pay and time off like you'd get in any other job. Some hard-core guardians – like my mom – refused vacations, vowing never to leave their Moroi's sides. Looking at Dimitri now, I had a feeling he might very well turn into one of those. If he'd been away on legitimate leave, he could hardly blame himself for what happened to that guy. Still, he probably did anyway. I'd blame myself too if something happened to Lissa."**

"Oh Dimka..." Olena repeated, sighing.

"**Hey," I said, suddenly wanting to cheer him up, "did you help come up with the plan to get us back? Because it was pretty good. Brute force and all that."**

**He arched an eyebrow curiously. Cool. I'd always wished I could do that."**

"is that what that was about?" Dimitri laughed, "I'd always wondered." He paused a moment before processing the next part, "you can't arch your eyebrow?" I shrugged, making an attempt. I think I probably looked constipated. Or like I was about to sneeze. Or both. "Huh."

"**You're complimenting me on that?"**

"**Well, it was a hell of a lot better than the last one they tried."**

"**Last one?"**

"**Yeah. In Chicago. With the pack of psi-hounds."**

"**This was the first time we found you. In Portland."**

**I sat up from my stretches and crossed my legs. "Um, I don't think I imagined psi-hounds. Who else could have sent them. They only answer to Moroi. Maybe no one told you about it."**

"**Maybe," he said dismissively. I could tell by his face that he didn't believe that.**

**I returned to the novices' dorm after that. The Moroi students lived on the other side of the quad, closer to the commons. The living arrangements were partly based on convenience. Being here kept us novices closer to the gym and training grounds. But we also lived separately to accommodate the difference in Moroi and dhampir lifestyles. Their dorm had almost no windows, aside from tinted ones that dimmed sunlight. The also had a special section where feeders always stayed on hand. The novices' dorm was built in a more open way, allowing for more light.**

**I had y own room because there were so few novices, let alone girls. The room they'd given me was small and plain, with a twin bed and a desk with a computer. My few belongings had been spirited out of Portland and now sat in boxes around the room. I rummaged through them, pulling out a T-shirt to sleep in. I found a couple of pictures as I did, one of Lissa and me at a football game in Portland and another taken when I'd gone on vacation with her family, a year before the accident.**

**I set them on my desk and booted up the computer. Someone from tech suppot had helpfully given me a sheet with instructions for renewing my e-mail account and setting up a password. I did both, happy to discover no one had realised that this would serve as a way for me to communicate with Lissa. Too tired to write to her now, I was about to turn everything off when I noticed I already had a message. From Janine Hathaway." **We all glanced up at my mom, and Mia continued, "**It was short: **

**I'm glad your back. What you did was inexecusable.**

"**Love you too, Mom," I muttered, shutting it all down.**

**When I went to bed afterward, I passed out before even hitting the pillow, and just as Dimitri had predicted, I felt ten times worse when I woke up the next morning. Lying there in bed, I reconsidered the perks of running away. Then I remembered getting my ass kicked and figured the only way to prevent that from happening again was to go endure some more of it this morning. My soreness made it all that much worse, but I survived the before-school practice with Dimitri and my subsequent classes without passing out or fainting."**

"Barely," Eddie remarked in amusement.

"Hey!"

"Sorry Rose, but it's true. You looked like shit."

"**At lunch, I dragged Lissa away from Natalie's table early and gave her a Kirova-worthy lecture about Christian – particularly chastising her for letting him know about our blood arrangement. If that got out, it'd kill both of us socially and I didn't trust him not to tell.**

**Lissa had other concerns.**

"**You were in my head again?" she exclaimed. "For _that_ long?"**

"**I didn't do it on purpose," I argued. "It just happened. And that's not the point. How long did you hang out with him afterward?"**

"**Not that long. It was kind of... fun."**

Christian smiled.

"**Well, you can't do it again. If people find out you're hanging with him, they'll crucify you." I eyed her warily. "You aren't, like, into him, are you?"**

**She scoffed. "No. Of course not."**

"**Good. Because if you're going to go after a guy, steal Aaron back." He was boring, yes, but safe. Just like Natalie. How come all the harmless people were so lame? Maybe that was the definition of safe."**

"Yeah, harmless," I grumbled, "because "harmless" apparently means turning Strigoi at your father's word and trying to dash my head against the ground."

"**She laughed. "Mia would claw my eyes out."**

"**We can take her. Besides, he deserves someone who doesn't shop at Gap Kids." ** Mia looked up at me in exasperation. "Really, Rose?" She sighed, continuing. I fought a smile. "**Rose, you've got to stop saying things like that."**

"**I'm just saying what you won't."**

"**She's only a year younger," said Lissa. She laughed. "I can't believe you think _I'm_ the one who's going to get us in trouble."  
Smiling as we strolled toward class, I gave her a sidelong glance. "Aaron does look pretty good though, huh?"**

**She smiled back and avoided my eyes. "Yeah. Pretty good."**

"**Ooh. You see? You should go after him."**

"**Whatever. I'm fine being friends now."**

"**Friends who used to stick their tongues down each other's throats."**

**She rolled her eyes.**

"**Fine." I let my teasing go. "Let Aaron stay in the nursery school," **Mia looked at me again, shaking her head in amused disbelief, "**Just so long as you stay away from Christian. He's dangerous."**

"**You're overreacting. He's not going Strigoi."**

"**He's a bad influence."**

**She laughed. "You think _I'm_ in danger of going Strigoi?"**

**She didn't wait for my answer, instead pushing ahead to open the door to our science class. Standing there, I uneasily replayed her words and then followed a moment later. When I did, I got to see royal power in action. A few guys – with giggling, watching girls – were messing with a gangly-looking Moroi. I didn't know him very well, but I knew he was poor and certainly not royal. A couple of his tormentors were air-magic users, and they'd blown the papers off his desk and were pushing them around the room on currents of air while the guy tried to catch them.**

**My instincts urged me to do something, maybe go smack one of the air users. But I couldn't pick a fight with everyone who annoyed me, and certainly not a group of royals – especially when Lissa needed to stay off their radar. So I could only give them a look of disgust as I walked to my desk. As I did, a hand caught my arm. Jesse."**

Cue more grumblings from Dimitri.

"**Hey," I said jokingly. Fortunately, he didn't appear to be participating in the torture session. "Hands off the merchandise."**

**He flashed me a smile but kept his hand on me. "Rose, tell Paul about the time you started the fight in Ms. Karp's class."**

**I cocked my head toward him, giving him a playful smile. "I started a lot of fights in her class."**

"**The one with the hermit crab. And the gerbil."**

I glanced up, immediately noticing Sonya's disapproving look. I offered a sheepish grin.

"**I laughed, recalling it. "Oh yeah. It was a hamster, I think. I just dropped it into the crab's tank, and they were both worked up from being so close to me, so they went at it."**

**Paul, a guy sitting nearby whom I didn't really know, chuckled too. He'd transferred last year, apparently, and hadn't heard of this. "Who won?"**

**I looked at Jesse quizzically. "I don't remember. Do you?"**

"**No. I just remember Karp freaking out." He turned toward Paul. "Man, you should have seen this messed-up teacher we used to have. Used to think people were after her and would go off on stuff that didn't make any sense. She was nuts. Used to wander campus while everyone was asleep."**

**I smiled tightly, like I thought it was funny. Instead, I thought back to Ms. Karp again, surprised to be thinking about her for the second time in two days. Jesse was right – she _had_ wandered campus a lot when she still worked here. It was pretty creepy. I'd run into her once – unexpectedly. **

**I'd been climbing out of my dorm window to go hang out with some people. It was after hours, and were all supposed to be in our rooms, fast asleep. Such escape tactics were a regular practice for me. I was good at them.**

**But I fell that time. I had a second-floor room, and I lost my grip about halfway down. Sensing the ground rush up toward me, I tried desperately to grab hold of something and slow my fall. The building's rough stone tore into my skin, causing cuts I was too preoccupied to feel. I slammed into the grassy earth, back first, getting the wind knocked out of me."**

Lissa winced in sympathy. "Ouch. Y'know, you never told me this story."

"Never told anyone," I replied.

"**Bad form, Rosemarie. You should be more careful. Your instructors would be disappointed."**

**Peering through the tangle of my hair, I saw Ms. Karp looking down at me, a bemused look on her face. Pain, in the meantime, shot through every part of my body.**

**Ignoring it as best I could, I clambered to my feet. Being in class with Crazy Karp while surrounded by other students was one thing. Standing outside alone with her was an entirely different matter. She always had an eerie, distracted gleam in her eye that made my skin break out in goosebumps. There was also now a high likelihood she'd drag me off to Kirova for a detention. Scarier still.**

**Instead, she just smiled and reached for my hands. I flinched but let her take them. She _tsk_ed when she saw the scrapes. Tightening her grip on them, she frowned slightly. A tingle burned my skin, laced with a sort of pleasant buzz, and then the wounds closed up. I had a brief sense of dizziness. My temperature spiked. The blood disappeared, as did the pain in my hip and leg.**

**Gasping, I jerked my hands away. I'd seen a lot of Moroi magic, but never anything like that.**

"**What... what did you do?"**

**She gave me that weird smile again. "Go back to your dorm, Rose. There are bad things out here. You never know what's following you."**

**I was still staring at my hands. "But..."**

**I looked back at her and for the first time noticed scars on the sides of her forehead. Like nails had dug into them. She winked. "I won't tell on you if you don't tell on me."**

"Sorry, Sonya, but that was one of the creepiest nights of my life," I said.

"**I jumped back to the present, unsettled by the memory of that bizarre night. Jesse, in the meantime, was telling me about a party.**

"**You've got to slip your leash tonight. We're going up to that spot in the woods around eight thirty. Mark got some weed."**

**I sighed wistfully, regret replacing the chill I'd felt over the memory of Ms. Karp. "Can't slip that leash. I'm with my Russian jailer."**

**He let go of my arm, looking disappointed, and ran a hand through his bronze-coloured hair. Yeah. Not being able to hang out with him was a damned shame. I really would have to fix that someday. "Can't you ever get off for good behaviour?" he joked.**

**I gave him what I hoped was a seductive smile as I found my seat. "Sure," I called over my shoulder. "If I was ever good."**

Christian groaned. "When are we getting to the good stuff?"

I looked up in confusion, "the... good stuff?"

"Yeah," he shrugged, running a hand through his messy black hair, "you know. Like the Badica attack. Or when you guys went to the caves. When you ran away from St. Vlad's. Your time away from St. Vlad's. Breaking Victor out of prison,"

"Excuse me?!"

"Oh, shit, did your mom not know?"

Both my mother and Alberta were giving me a very stern look and I groaned. How perfect. And yet, he continued on, "and all that stuff. And your time away from Court. I mean, it's cool and all, but right now it's all kind of high school drama."

I gave him a tight smile, "well, the first few months _were_ just high school drama. And," I sighed, "you realise, of course, that the "good stuff" you're talking about is all actually rather painful memories for me?" Well, that and filled with sexual tension. But I wouldn't mention that, "so... yeah. They aren't really memories I'd like to relive. But I have to. And you all get to experience that with me," I groaned, "so... just be patient."

He grumbled a little but nodded.

"But I think... _some_ cool stuff is coming soon?" I offered, "Like, a little while after the church, the animals start. And then I'm caught in the lounge with Jesse."

Once again, Dimitri grumbled, causing Olena to smile over at us. "I really just want to see Dimka and Rose fall in love." She stated. I felt my cheeks heat up and I took a step behind Dimitri. I wasn't shy, not really, but suddenly his back was very interesting to look at. "When does that start happening?"

I noticed that Adrian was pointedly staying out of this conversation. Viktoria on the other hand, had no such reservations. "I really don't want to see that, mom. I mean, ew, that's my brother."

Dimitri laughed and nudged me so that I was beside him again, and not able to hide. "Well," I stated, "that's coming up, too. Right then I was only attracted to him. It wasn't until after some very nasty rumours about me were spread that I actually began developing a crush, which later turned into love." I sighed, "I guess we should keep reading then. What're we at now, five? Six? Who's turn is it to read?"

We glanced around but no one seemed that eager to read aloud. Finally, Eddie raised a hand in a slight wave, "I'll do it. Might as well." I nodded and rubbed the bridge of my eyes, before realising. "Hey, wait, weren't we going to stop after that chapter for some lunch?"

As if on cue, Viktoria's stomach growled. Olena, seeming to have some super hearing even for a dhampir, immediately went to the kitchen to cook something for all of us. Relieved at the break, however short it may be, I began cleaning up the mess of cookies and pop, pouring another glass for everyone – except Sydney, who seemed to only want water. Jill, Christian and Adrian took their turn for the feeders, Sonya, Mia and Abe deciding to wait for the next chapter. Sonya went to check the garden outside, followed by Lissa. Not wanting to leave her alone, I moved to follow her.

"How're you taking all this?" Lissa asked me, bending to touch one of the flower beds. To her delight, tulips popped up. I shivered slightly – both from the cold, and just from the magic. I'd never get over that. Her gentle eyes turned to look at me, and I glanced away.

"I'm fine," I shrugged.

"You're lying."

"I am not."

"Yes, you are. I can tell."

I sighed and crossed my arms over my chest, "okay, so maybe it's a little weird for me. I mean, it's not so bad now, but it's going to get worse. Like what Christian said, the Badica attack and my leaving St. Vladimir's and everything else. But even in this... book... there's going to be some stuff I don't want to relive, or else, don't want everyone knowing about. Like how the blood whore rumours made me cry. Or like getting beat up by Natalie. Or the lust charm. I mean, _my parents_ are there. _Alberta_ is here. Hell, even Dimitri's mom is here, and his grandmother and baby sister. I don't want to go through all that again with them here." I took a deep breath, "but I guess it's gonna be hard for both of us. I mean, it's not just my thoughts we're going through, right? Because... I kinda slipped into your head often. So I'm going to be living your thoughts all over again too."

That reminded me, "you're not going to be able to read the parts about your Queen trials," I commented. Her eyebrows lifted in surprise. She hadn't thought about that. "Hopefully they won't land on your... turn. But there's still the possibility." Not to mention that everyone was going to know about how I killed Victor. I sat down on the deck's staircase, bringing my knees up to my chest. "I don't want to do this, Lissa."

She sat down beside me, wrapping a comforting arm around me, "maybe if we ask them to stop?"

I shook my head, "I don't know whoever this "The Author" is, but something tells me they won't be satisfied until we've read them all. Besides, you heard Christian, he wants to hear it all. And I'm sure he's not the only one. I wouldn't mind some of it so much, it's just the other stuff... like me being a blood whore for Dimitri when he was Strigoi. And when I watched him get overtaken. And Mason's death. I can't go through that again, Liss. I can't." I was shocked to hear my voice break. She sighed and squeezed my shoulder, but there was nothing else for her to say.

"I'm going to go inside," Lissa said to me, "you going to be okay?"

I nodded, "yeah. I'll be fine. I'll be in soon." She looked at me, uncertain. "I'll be fine," I repeated firmly. She nodded and went inside, and I sighed, closing my eyes. I'd be fine. I had to be fine. I couldn't focus on me – this would be hard on Lissa, too. Her needs were more important.

To my surprise, Sonya approached me. I'd forgotten she was even there, really, but glancing around, I noticed how beautiful the garden was. I wondered if we could keep this place as a summer house. Secure – I think there were even wards. At least, it seemed like it – and rather beautiful in its isolation. She stood in front of us.

"Rose?"

"Hm?"

"Earlier, when Alberta and Dimitri were handing out the books, what were you doing?" I looked at Sonya, remembering the odd look she'd given me.

"I was trying to look at the ghosts, see if I could still do it," I replied. No point in lying. I just hoped she wouldn't ask me frowned.

"Were you successful?" She asked instead.

I hesitated. _Was_ I successful? I mean, I hadn't seen any ghosts, but... "I don't think so," I answered, "when I released the wall, I had that normal headache, and I _did_ see glowing shadows flit around. But no ghosts. And the wall – and subsequent headache – was way too easy for me to push back. Nothing like how it used to be." I paused before adding, "why?"

"It's likely nothing," Sonya hesitated, "but your aura... it's no longer attached to Vasilisa's of course, because you're no longer bonded. But in that moment... it reached for hers. As if to recreate that connection. And some of the old shadows, from when you were shadow-kissed, returned – if only briefly."

Alarm shot through me, "did it make the connection?"

"No," she replied. My anxiety dimmed until she spoke her next words, "but it _did _brush against hers. And the gold flared up. It seems fine but... be careful. There's still a lot to Spirit we don't know. You may believe yourself to be completely detached from Lissa, but you _did _ go to the land of the dead and you _were_ Shadow-kissed. Even after your bond was severed from you returning... there's no telling what scars that may leave on the soul. No telling what changes may be permanent."

I shuddered, thoroughly chilled by her words, but was saved from responding by my mother. She popped her head out, looking at the three of us with surprise on her face. "Are you still out here?" She asked, as if it weren't obvious, "well, anyways. Ms. Belikova's finishing up and we're ready to start."

I gaped. "Finishing up? She's been in there for less than five minutes! How on earth can she be done already?" But my words fell on deaf ears; the others had already headed for the door. With a sigh, I stood up and followed them in.

* * *

**I'm so glad everyone is enjoying this so far. I forgot how much I enjoyed posting fanfictions online. To those that are reading Spirit Swap: I'm working on getting another chapter out. I have a fledgling of an idea for the story now, which is good because I really want to get to the sequels. **


	7. Chapter 7

LUNCH CONSISTED OF CANNED soup, it turned out. Olena put a couple loaves of bread in the ovens – apparently she had whatever it was that she needed to make that delicious black bread of hers, and we had a dual oven, so she'd decided to make a couple loaves for us. Mostly Dimitri and I. But those were snacks for later. Instead, there had been multiple cans of New England Clam Chowder and split pea soup in the pantry, so in a large pot she'd made us both, as well as a stack of ham, cheese, lettuce and tomato sandwiches. Even though I _had_ been snacking all day, it looked delicious. I couldn't wait to eat. My mother, surprisingly enough,offered to help Olena, and together they served the rest of us. Dimitri and I both had clam chowder, while Lissa took pea soup. She never really liked sea food all that much. Sydney had the smallest portion, by choice, which seemed to worry Adrian. I didn't really understand that. It wasn't like it was anything new – I mean, for as long as I'd known her, I didn't think I'd ever seen Sydney eat a full meal. Not for the first time, I found myself wondering what was going on between Sydney and Adrian.

I sat down beside Dimitri, blowing on my bowl, while Lissa took her seat on the cushions at my feet. Sonya's words came back to me – _"There's no telling what scars that may leave on the soul. No telling what changes may be permanent."_

What had that meant? Was there a chance Lissa and I still had our bond? It didn't seem likely to me, I mean, it'd been six months. You'd think I would have noticed something, right? I would have said it was nothing, or that she was seeing things, but Sonya had never been wrong about my aura before. I would know. Maybe I was still partially shadow-kissed, but just had lost the bond. That could explain why I had been able to – partially – reach the land of the dead. Except... "_it reached for hers. As if to recreate the connection. Some of the shadows returned. It brushed against hers. The gold flared up."_

I sighed.

"What's wrong?" Dimitri frowned, looking down at me. I glanced away, meeting Lissa's eyes.

"Nothing," I murmured, "just thinking."

"My turn, right?" Eddie spoke, bringing us back to the task at hand. I nodded and with a deep breath, he began.

"**AS MUCH AS LISSA AND Christian's meeting bothered me, it gave me an idea the next day.**

"**Hey, Kirova – er, Ms. Kirova." I stood in the doorway of her office, not having bothered to make an appointment. She raised her eyes from some paperwork, clearly annoyed to see me.**

"**Yes, Miss Hathaway?"**

"**Does my house arrest mean I can't go to church?"**

"**I beg your pardon?"**

"**You said that whenever I'm nt in class or practice, I have to stay in the dorm. But what about church on Sundays? I don't think it's really fair to keep me away from my religious... um, needs." Or deprive me of another chance – no matter how short and boring – to hang out with Lissa.**

**She pushed her glasses up the bridge of her nose. "I wasn't aware you had any religious needs."**

"**I found Jesus while I was gone."**

There were a few snickers – even from Alberta, much to my surprise.

"**Isn't your mother an atheist?" she asked skeptically.**

"**And my dad's probably Muslim. But I've moved on to my own path. You shouldn't keep me from it."**

**She made a noise that sort of sounded like a snicker. "No, Miss Hathaway, I should not. Very well. You may attend services on Sundays."**

**The victory was short-lived, however, because church was every bit as lame as I remembered when I attended a few days later. I did get to sit next to Lissa, though, which made me feel like I was getting away with something. Mostly I just people-watched. Church was optional for students, but with so many Eastern European families, a lot of students were Eastern Orthodox Christians and attended either because they believed or because their parents made them.**

**Christian sat on the opposite side of the aisle, pretending to be just as holy as he'd said. As much as I didn't like him, his fake faith still made me smile. Dimitri sat in the back, face lined with shadows, and like me, didn't take communion. As thoughtful as he looked, I wondered if he even listened to the service." **

"Not really," Dimitri admitted.

"**I tuned in and out.**

"**Following God's path is never easy," the priest was saying, "Even St. Vladimir, this school's own patron saint, had a difficult time. He was so filled with spirit that people often flocked around him, enthralled just to listen and be in his presence. So great was his spirit, the old texts say, that he could heal the sick. Yet despite these gifts, many did not respect him. They mocked him, claiming he was misguided and confused."**

**Which was a nice way of saying Vladimir was insane. Everyone knew it. He was one of a handful of Moroi saints, so the priest liked to talk about him a lot. I'd heard all about him, many times over, before we left. Great. It looked like I had an eternity of Sundays to hear his story over and over again.**

"**...and so it was with shadow-kissed Anna."**

**I jerked my head up. I had no idea hat the priest was talking about now, because I hadn't been listening for some time. But those words burned into me. **_**Shadow-kissed.**_** It had been a while since I heard the, but I'd never forgotten them. I waited, hoping he'd continue, but he'd already moved on to the next part of the service. The sermon was over. **

**Church concluded, and as Lissa turned to go, I shook my head at her. "Wait for me. I'll be right there." I pushed my way through the crowd, up to the front where the priest was speaking with a few people. I waited impatiently while he finished. Natalie was there, asking him about volunteer work she could do. Ugh. When she finished, she left, greeting me as she passed.**

**The priest raised his eyebrows when he saw me. "Hello, Rose. It's nice to see you again."**

Christian chuckled, "I'm sure."

"**Yeah... you too." I said. "I heard you talking about Anna. About how she was shadow-kissed." What does that mean?"**

**He frowned. "I'm not entirely sure. She lived a very long time ago. It was often common to refer to people by titles that reflected some of their traits. It might have been given to make her sound fierce."**

**I tried to hide my disappointment. "Oh. So who was she?"**

**This time his frown was disapproving rather than thoughtful. "I mentioned it a number of times."**

"**Oh. I must have, um, missed that."**

**His disapproval grew, and he turned around. "Wait just a moment." He disappeared through the door near the altar, the one Lissa had taken to the attic. I considered fleeing but thought God might strike me down for that. Less than a minute later, the priest returned with a book. **

**He handed it to me. _Moroi Saints._"You can learn about her in here. The next time I see you, I'd like to hear what you've learned."**

**I scowled as I walked away. Great. Homework from the priest.**

**In the chapel's entry way, I found Lissa talking to Aaron. She smiled as she spoke, and the feelings coming off her were happy, though certainly not infatuated. "You're kidding," she exclaimed.**

**He shook his head. "Nope."**

**Seeing me stroll over, she turned to me. "Rose, you're never going to believe this. "You know Abby Badica? And Xander? Their guardian wants to resign. And marry _another _guardian."**

**Now _this_ was exciting gossip. A scandal, actually. "Seriously? Are they, like, going to run off together?"**

**She nodded. "They're getting a house. Going to get jobs with humans, I guess."**

**I glanced at Aaron, who had suddenly turned shy with me there. "How are Abby and Xander dealing with that?"**

"**Okay. Embarrassed. They think it's stupid." Then he realised who he was speaking to. "Oh. I didn't mean -" **

"**Whatever." I gave him a tight smile. "It _is_ stupid."**

I felt Dimitri look at me, but I wouldn't meet his eyes.

"**Wow. I was stunned. The rebellious part of me loved any story where people "fought the system." Only, in this case, they were fighting _my_ system, the one I'd been trained to believe in my entire life.**

**Dhampirs and Moroi had a strange arrangement. Dhampirs had originally been born from Moroi mixing with humans," **Dimitri, Sydney and I made a face, recalling the Keepers. "**Unfortunately, dhampirs couldn't reproduce with each other -" **

"Not like you don't try," Adrian muttered. I shot him a dirty look.

"**or with humans. It was a weird genetic thing. Mules were the same way, I'd been told, though that wasn't a comparison I really liked hearing. Dhampirs and full Moroi _could _have children together, and, through another genetic oddity, their kids came out as standard dhampirs, with half human genes, half vampire genes.**

**With Moroi being the only ones with whom dhampirs could reproduce, we had to stay close to them and intermingle with them. Likewise, it became important to us that the Moroi simply _survived_. Without them, we were done. And with the way Strigoi loved picking off Moroi, their survival became a legitimate concern for us.**

**That was how the guardian system developed. Dhampirs couldn't work magic, but we made great warriors. We'd inherited enhanced senses and reflexes from our vampire genes and better strength and endurance from our human genes. We also weren't limited by a need for blood or trouble with sunlight,"** I cast a glance towards Sydney, recalling our earlier conversation, **"Sure, we weren't as powerful as Strigoi, but we trained hard, and guardians did a kick-ass job at keeping Moroi safe. Most dhampirs felt it was worth risking their own lives to make sure our kind could still keep having children.**

**Since Moroi usually wanted to have and raise Moroi children, you didn't find a lot of long-terrm Moroi-dhampir romances," **my eyes fell to Sonya and Mikhail, **"You especially didn't find a lot of Moroi women hooking up with dhampir guys. But plenty of young Moroi men liked fooling around with dhampir women, although those guys usually went on to marry Moroi women. That left a lot of single dhampir mothers, but we were tough and could handle it.**

**However, many dhampir mothers chose not to become guardians in order to raise their children." **I glanced over at the Belikov's this time, feeling guilty at my earlier prejudice, before I knew them, "**These women sometimes worked "regular" jobs with Moroi or humans; some of them lived together in communities. These communities had a bad reputation. I don't know how much of it was true, but rumours said Moroi men visited _all the time_ for sex. And that some dhampir women let them drink blood while doing it. Blood whores."**

"Sorry," I said to them.

"**Regardless, almost all guardians were men, which meant there were a lot more Moroi than guardians. Most dhampir guys accepted that they wouldn't have kids. They knew it was their job to protect Moroi while their sisters and cousins had babies. Some dhampir women, like my mother, still felt it was their duty to become guardians – even if it meant not raising their own kids. After I'd been born, she'd handed me over to be raised by Moroi. Moroi and dhampirs start school pretty young, and the Academy had essentially taken over as my parent by the time I was four.**

**Between her example and my life at the Academy, I believed wholeheartedly that it was a dhampir's job to protect Moroi. It was part of our heritage, _and_ it was the only way we'd keep going. It was that simple. And that was what made what the Badicas' guardian had done so shocking. He'd abandoned his Moroi and run off with another guardian, which meant she'd abandoned _her _Moroi. They couldn't even have children together, and now two families were unprotected. What was the point? No one cared if teenage dhampirs dated or if adult dhampirs had flings. But a long-term relationship? Particularly one that involved them running away? A complete waste. And a disgrace." **

This time, I _did _ look at Dimitri. "Uh, so I take that back. I mean, not the running away part. But on dhampirs together. So long as it doesn't happen all the time... well. I mean, uh.."

He chuckled and held me close, "it's okay, Roza. I understand."

"**After a little more speculation on the Badicas, Lissa and I left Aaron. As we stepped outside, I heard a funny shifting sound and then something sliding. Too late, I realised what was happening, just as a pile of slush slid off the chapel's roof and onto us. It was early October, and we'd had early snow last night that had started melting almost immediately. As a result, the stuff that fell on us was very wet and very cold.**

**Lissa took the brunt end of it, but I still yelped as icy water landed on my hair and neck. A few others squealed nearby too, having caught the edge of the mini -avalanche.**

"**You okay?" I asked her. Her coat was drenched, and her platinum hair clung to the sides of her face.**

"**Y-yeah," she said through chattering teeth.**

**I pulled off my coat and handed it to her. It had a slick surface and had repelled most of the water.**

"**Take yours off."**

"**But you'll be -" **

"**Take this."**

**She did, and as she slipped on my coat, I finally tuned into the laughter that always follows these situations. I avoided the eyes, instead focusing on holding Lissa's wet jacket while she changed.**

"**Wish you hadn't been wearing a coat, Rose," said Ralf Sarcozy, an unusually bulky and plump Moroi. I hated him. "That shirt would have looked good wet."**

"**That shirt's so ugly it should be burned. Did you get that from a homeless person?"**

**I glanced up as Mia walked over and looped her arm through Aaron's. Her blond curls were arranged perfectly, and she had on an awesome pair of black heels that would have looked much better on me. At least they made her look taller, I'd give her that."**

Mia glanced up, "thanks?" She half grinned. I grinned back.

"**Aaron had been a few steps behind us but had been miraculously avoided being nailed by the slush. Seeing how smug she looked, I decided there'd been no miracles involved. **

"**I suppose you want to offer to burn it, huh?" I asked, refusing to let her know how much that insult bugged me. I knew perfectly well my fashion sense had slipped over the last two years. "Oh, wait – fire isn't your element, is it? You work with water. What a coincidence that a bunch just fell on us."**

**Mia looked as if she'd been insulted, bu the gleam in her eyes showed that she was enjoying this way too much to be an innocent bystander. "What's that supposed to ean?"**

"**Nothing to me. But Ms. Kirova will probably have something to say when she finds out you used magic against another student."**

"**That wasn't an attack," she scoffed. "And it wasn't me. It was an act of God."**

**A few others laughed, much to her delight. In my imagination, I responded with, _So is this, _and then slammed her into the side of the church. In real life, Lissa simply nudged me and said, "Let's go."**

**She and I walked off toward our respective dorms, leaving behind laughter and jokes about our wet states and how Lissa wouldn't know anything about specialisation. Inside, I seethed. I had to do something about Mia, I realised. In addition to the general irritation of Mia's bitchiness, I didn't want Lissa to have to deal with any more stress than she had to. We'd been okay this first week, and I wanted to keep it that way.**

"**You know," I said, "I'm thinking more and more that you stealing Aaron back is a good thing. It'll teach Bitch Doll a lesson. I bet it'd be easy, too. He's still crazy about you."**

"**I don't want to teach anyone a lesson," said Lissa. "And _I'm_ not crazy about him."**

"**Come on, she picks fights and talks about us behind our backs. She accused me of getting jeans from the Salvation Army yesterday."**

"**Your jeans _are_ from the Salvation Army."**

"**Well, yeah," I snorted, "but she has no right making fun of them when she's wearing stuff from Target."**

"**Hey, there's nothing wrong with Target. I like Target."**

"**So do I. That's not the point. She's trying to pass her stuff off like it's freaking Stella McCartney."**

"**And that's a crime?"**

**I affected a solemn face. "Absolutely. You've gotta take revenge.**

Christian yawned. "Girls."

"**I told you, I'm not interested in revenge." Lissa cut me a sidelong look. "And you shouldn't be either."**

**I smiled as innocently as I could, and when we parted ways, I felt relieved again that she couldn't read my thoughts.**

"**So when's the big catfight going to happen?"**

**Mason," **Eddie choked on the name and I patted his shoulder, sighing, "sorry," he said, "**was waiting for me outside our dorm after I'd parted ways with Lissa. He looked lazy and cute, leaning against the wall with crossed arms as he watched me.**

**I'm sure I don't know what you mean."**

**He unfolded himself and walked with me into the building, handing me his coat, since I'd let Lissa go off with my dry one. "I saw you guys sparring outside the chapel. Have you no respect for the house of God?"**

**I snorted. "You've got about as much respect for it as I do, you heathen. You didn't even go. Besides, as you said, we were _outside_."**

"**And you still didn't answer the question."**

**I just grinned and slipped on his coat. **

**We stood in the common area of our dorm, a well-supervised loung and study area where male and female students could mingle, along with Moroi guests. Being Sunday, it was pretty crowded with those cramming for last-minute assignments due tomorrow. Spying a small, empty table, I grabbed Mason's arm and pulled him toward it.  
"Aren't you supposed to go straight to your room?"**

"Yes," Dimitri and Alberta stated.

"**I hunkered down in my seat, glancing around warily. "There are so many people here today, it'll take them a while to notice me. God, I'm so sick of being locked away. And it's only been a week."**

"**I'm sick of it too. We missed you last night. A bunch of us went and shot pool in the rec room. Eddie was on fire." **Eddie looked up, grinning a little, "I remember that. It was a hell of a lot of fun."

"**I groaned. "Don't tell me that. I don't want to hear about your glamourous social life."**

"**All right." He propped his elbow up on the table and rested his chin in his hand. "Then tell me about Mia. You're just going to turn around and punch her one day, aren't you? I think I remembered you doing that at least ten times with people that pissed you off."**

Viktoria looked a little shocked, "really?" I glanced away.

"**I'm a new, reformed Rose," I said, doing my best impression of demure. Which wasn't very good. He emitted a choking sort of laugh. "Besides, if I do that, I'll have broken my probation with Kirova. Gotta walk the straight and narrow."**

"**In other words, find some way to get back at Mia that you won't get in trouble for." **

**I felt a smile tug at corners of my lips. "You know what I like about you, Mase? You think just like I do."**

"**Frightening concept," he replied drily. "So tell me what you think of this: I might know something about her, but I probably shouldn't tell you..."**

**I leaned forward. "Oh, you already tipped me off. You've _got_ to tell me now."**

"**It'd be wrong," he teased. "How do I know you'd use this knowledge for good instead of evil?"**

**I batted my eyelashes. "Can you resist this face?"**

**He took a moment to study me. "No. I can't, actually."**

"And that," I stated, "should have been my _first_ clue that he had feelings for me."

"**Okay, here you go: Mia isn't royal."**

**I slouched back in my chair. "No kidding. I already knew that. I've known who's royal since I was two."**

"**Yeah, but there's more than just that. Her parents work for one of the Drozdov lords." I waved my hand impatiently. A lot of Moroi worked out in the human world, but Moroi society had plenty of jobs for its own kind too. Someone had to fill them. "Cleaning stuff. Practically servants. Her dad cuts grass, and her mom's a maid."**

**I actually had a healthy respect for anyone who pulled a full day's work, regardless of the job. People everywhere had to do crappy stuff to make a living. But, much like with Target, it became another matter altogether when someone was trying to pass herself off as something else. And in the week that I'd been here, I'd picked up on how desperately Mia wanted to fit in with the school elite.**

"**No one knows,'" I said thoughtfully.**

"**And she doesn't want them to. You know how the royals are." He paused. "Well, except for Lissa, of course. They'd give Mia a hard time over it."**

"**How do you know all this?"**

"I'd like to know that too," Mia stated, frowning. "So that's where you got that."

"**My uncle's a guardian for the Drozdovs."**

"**And you've just been sitting on this secret, huh?"**

"**Until you broke me. So which path will you choose: good or evil?"**

"**I think I'll give her a grace - "**

"**Miss Hathaway, you know you aren't supposed to be here." One of the dorm matrons stood over us, disapproval all over her face.**

**I hadn't been joking when I said Mason thought like me. He could bullshit as well as I could. "We have a group project to do for our humanities class. How are we supposed to do it if Rose is in isolation?"**

**The matron narrowed her eyes. "You don't look like you're doing work."**

**I slid over to the priests book and opened it at random. I'd placed it on the table when we sat down. "We're, um, working on this."**

**She still looked suspicious. "One hour. I'll give you one more hour down here, and I'd better actually see you working."**

"**Yes, ma'am," said Mason straight-faced. "Absolutely."**

**She wandered off, still eyeing us. "My hero," I declared.**

**He pointed at the book. "What is this?"**

"**Something the priest gave me. I had a question about the service."**

**He stared at me, astonished.**

"**Oh, stop it and look interested." I skimmed the index. "I'm trying to find some woman named Anna."**

**Mason slid his chair over so that he was sitting right beside me. "All right. Let's 'study.'"**

**I found a page number, and it took me to the section on St. Vladimir, not surprisingly. We read through the chapter, scanning for Anna's name. When we found it, the author didn't have much to say about her. He did include an excerpt written by some guy who had apparently lived at the same time as St. Vladimir:**

_**And with Vladimir always is Anna, the daughter of Fyodor. Their love is as chaste and pure as that of brother and sister, and many times has she defended him from Strigoi who would seek to destroy him and his holiness. Likewise, it is she who comforts him when the spirit becomes too much to bear, and Satan's darkness trying to smother him and weaken his own health and body. This too she defends against, for they have been bound together ever since he saved her life as a child. It is a sign of God's love that He has sent the blessed Vladimir a guardian such as her, one who is shadow-kissed and always knows what is in his heart and mind.**_

"**There you go," Mason said. "She was his guardian."**

"**It doesn't say what 'shadow-kissed' means."**

"**Probably doesn't mean anything."**

**Something in me didn't believe that. I read it again, trying to make sense of the old-fashioned language. Mason watched me curiously, looking like he very much wanted to help.**

"**Maybe they were hooking up," he suggested.**

**I laughed. "He was a _saint."_**

"**So? Saints probably like sex too. That 'brother and sister' stuff is probably a cover." He pointed to one of the lines. "See? They were 'bound' together." He winked. "It's a code."**

**Bound. It was a weird word choice, but that didn't necessarily mean Anna and Vladimir were ripping each other's clothes off.**

"**I don't think so. They're just close. Guys and girls can just be friends." I said it pointedly, and he gave me a dry look. **

"Second clue," I sighed, "hey, how much longer in this chapter, anyways?"

"Just this next page," Eddie replied, his tone pained. And yeah, I was hurting a little too, remembering back to those – relatively – easy days, when Mason was still alive.

"**Yeah? _We're _friends, and I don't know what's in your 'heart and mind.'" Mason put on a fake philosopher's look. "Of course, some might argue that one can never know what's in the heart of a woman -"**

"**Oh, shut up," I groaned, punching him in the arm.**

"**For they are strange and mysterious creatures," he continued in his scholarly voice, "and a man must be a mind reader if he ever wishes to make them happy."**

"God, I miss him," I sighed, smiling a little. Eddie nodded.

"Me too."

"**I started giggling uncontrollably and knew I'd probably get in trouble again. "Well, try t read my mind and stop being such a -" I stopped laughing and looked back down at the book. **

**Bound together and _always knows what is in his heart and mind._**

**They had a bond, I realised. I would have bet everything I owned – which wasn't much – on it. The revelation was astonishing. There were lots of vague stories and myths about how guardians and Moroi 'used to have bonds.' But this was the first I'd ever heard of anyone specific that it had happened to. **

**Mason had noticed my startled reaction. "You okay? You look kind of weird."**

"**I shrugged it off. "Yeah. Fine."**

"And that's the end of chapter six," Eddie stated, leaning back on the couch. Olena stood up and moved to go check the bread. I, meanwhile, had a question to ask Yeva. Hesitantly, wary of her piercing dark eyes, I took the seat closest to her. Abe, Sonya and Mia, meanwhile, went to the feeders. Her shrewd eyes regarded me, and I half-wondered if she already knew what I was going to ask.

"Yeva?" I hesitated, speaking quietly. Again, I wasn't sure if she was playing the "can't speak English" act or not, but I wasn't going rat her out. Curious, Dimitri came to stand beside me, regarding his grandmother with a look of wariness, respect, and love. Her eyes never left mine, and I swallowed. "Mark once said to me... that you could sense a weirdness around him, and around me. A weirdness that meant we were shadow-kissed?" She nodded. "I was wondering... do you still sense that weirdness. Around me, I mean."

Dimitri gave me a curious look, but he didn't have time to say anything before Yeva was speaking – in Russian. Dammit. That crazy old bat. He chuckled and translated for me. "Grandmother says that you've always had the shadows follow you. But that they're weaker than when you were in Baia. She says," he paused and she repeated something, "she says that they were very weak when you came into the house. But since we started reading the book, they've gotten stronger."

I was afraid of that.

"Thank you, Yeva." I stood up, turning to leave, before a thought occurred to me. "Yeva, you said you can sense the shadows around me. And I assume you can sense the lightness around Sonya, Adrian and Lissa, too. Can you sense wards?"

She said something, glancing at Adrian, Mikhail and Jillian. I turned to Dimitri with a questioning look on my face. "Grandmother says that, while Lissa is a gentle girl, who is kind to you, to her shadow friend, Adrian less kind to his. She also says that Mikhail is a shadow friend, too." I blinked, looking at Mikhail. So. Mikhail was shadow-kissed too? I guess I'd have to talk to him later.

"Did she answer the question about the wards?"

He nodded, "Yes, she can sense the wards. And there are wards." I nodded.

"Thank you, Yeva," I repeated. This time, I turned to leave, and Dimitri moved to follow me, but he was stopped by Yeva.

"Dimka?" He glanced back, a curious look on his face.

"Yes?"

"horosho s nei otnosisshya?" She gestured to me. I listened in confusion, noticing a slightly guilty expression on his face. Uh oh. What was _that_ about? I looked between the two of them in alarm, wishing I had bothered to learn Russian. I almost wanted to ask Sydney for help but thought better of it; this seemed like a personal issue.

"Nyet, babushka. Ya ei prichinil bol' " He replied with a soft voice. I could hear regret and pain. My heart began to pound. To my surprise, however, Yeva smiled. If only slightly. It made her look – only a little – less scary.

"Dimka, ya ne imeyu vvidu proshloye. Eto pozadi. Ya imeyu vvidu seichas. Vi snove vmeste, kak ti obrashyaeshsya s nei?"

He nodded.

"Horosho" Her words were to Dimitri, but her eyes fell on me, "Mne nravitsya ona. U neyo ogon'. Plamya kotoroya toch v toch kak tvoyo plamye. Ona otvet iz nebes- chto moya mechta ispolnilas'." Now his expression turned to one of confusion, and my eyes narrowed. What were they saying?

"Vasha mechta, babushka?"

"Ya mechtala o nei. V moih snah, ona prishla v Baia- ona blistala i gorela kak zvyozdi! Velikii voin, ona- velikii dela zhdut eyo!" Her eyes, once again, fell on me, and her smile grew a little. I was getting really unnerved, "Ona dostoinaya"

He smiled and wrapped an arm around my waist. "Ya eyo ochen' lyublyu, babushka." I recognised the word for 'love'. She nodded.

"Ya znayu. Ne poteryai eyo."

"tak trudno." he laughed, though his eyes held pain, "ya slishkom mnogo eyo poteryal"

"ona vse eshe zdes'- to" She said wisely.

"Yes, she is." Dimitri replied in English, startling me. He removed his arm from me and leaned in to give his grandmother a kiss on the cheek, "Spasibo." Why was Dimitri saying thank you? For the third time, we turned to go, and once again, Yeva called out to us.

"Grandmother." I turned around, not understanding at first. "Call me grandmother."

My eyes widened, not quite sure what to make of this. This was... a good thing, right? The look on Dimitri's face confirmed as much. I nodded, offering a smile. "Spasibo, B-Babush...ka?" She nodded in approval, and Dimitri's smile grew.

"Dimka! nauchi ei russkii!"

Dimitri laughed, "Da, Babushka." He replied. I took his hand, wanting to talk to him but wanting to talk to him in private. I tapped my mother on the shoulder.

"Hey, mom? Dimitri and I are just going to do a check of the perimeter," I said, "There are wards here, so we don't really have to, but... considering how much trouble there's been with wards over the past year, I don't really want to risk it. Just thought I'd let you know."

She frowned, "is it just going to be you two?" I wasn't sure whether she was concerned over our safety or concerned it was an excuse for us to have a... romantic interlude. I nodded and, after a moment's hesitation, tapped my ear piece. "If you need to get a hold of me, or if I need to get a hold of you, I have these. I also have my stake." She nodded.

"Don't be long."

I pulled on my jacket and put on my shoes, Dimitri following suit with that ridiculous duster of his. As we walked out the door, I couldn't help but cast him a sidelong glance, slipping on my gloves. "I don't suppose you're going to tell me what that was all about?"

He smiled at me, keeping his eyes alert for any threat as we turned west into the forest. I kept my eyes down, searching for the silver metal discs that marked the wards. His hand slid into mine. "Grandmother was just telling me that she likes you, and not to lose you." I nearly tripped.

"R-really?" I stammered, glancing up at him in shock. This amused him, "she actually likes me? Last time we met, she acted like I dropped a house on her sister."

"Rose," he scolded, shaking his head. He continued, "Last time, you probably hadn't lived up to her dream."

"Ah yes, her dream," I sighed, "where I shone bright like a star." I paused, "so I guess I've lived up to it now?"

"So she says." He paused to duck under a branch. One that I had no issue with. Hah. Doesn't pay to be tall now, does it, mister six-foot-seven? "She also says to teach you Russian."

"I wouldn't mind that," I shrugged, "It'd be easier than having to rely on you for translations. Well, no," I reconsidered, "it wouldn't be. But I still wouldn't mind it."

He smiled, before growing serious, "Rose, why did you ask her those questions? About your shadows?" I hesitated, not wanting to answer, "Roza..." I sighed.

"when we sat down..." I bit my lip, "well, my first thought was that this was all Victor Dashkov's doing. But that didn't make sense, because he was dead. I_ knew _he was dead. Because I had killed him. But I wasn't sure just then, so I tried to see the world of the dead," he stiffened. I stepped over a log and nearly slipped. He caught my arm.

"Did you? Were you successful?" I shook my head.

"Not really. I mean, I got the headache which I was used to. And I definitely saw shadows and lights. But no ghosts. If anything, it was a milder version of what happened on the plane back when I first started seeing the ghosts, at St. Vlad`s. But, again, a weaker version. And I was able to push it all back way too easily. But when I went outside, Sonya said that my aura... when I did that, it was reaching for Lissa`s, trying to reform the connection. She said that it brushed against hers, cause the gold in Liss`s to flare up and my old darkness to resurface, if only for a little while. She said," I shivered a little, "_There's no telling what scars that may leave on the soul. No telling what changes may be permanent. _And it made me wonder... I mean, I would have noticed if our bond had reformed, but... what if I never truly broke away from Spirit? At least, not completely? Because, whether I came back on my own the second time, I'd still been to the land of the dead. I had still been shadow-kissed. And I don't think that that ever truly goes away." I sighed, glancing around, "anyways... I might be just over reacting. It looks all clear here, what about you?"

"Do it."

I blinked, "huh?"

"Do it," he repeated, an odd tone in his voice, "Try again. You're too far from Lissa for it to touch her aura, right?" I hesitated but nodded, "I'll keep an eye out for Strigoi." He added. With that, I closed my eyes, squeezing his hand. I felt around the edges of my mind, feeling for that mental barrier. We were past the wards, so if I _could_ see ghosts still, then it should have been easier for them. Slowly, I became aware of the wall, though it was faint. Weak. I pushed at it, and it didn't budge, but after a few more times I could slowly feel it start to give. Immediately, a dull ache began throbbing in my skull, a pressure on my eye sockets. I opened my eyes, and pushed more at the wall.

Suddenly, there were ghosts everywhere.

* * *

**I decided to upload this chapter early because this one, and the next one, are currently my two favourites. In the next little bit, things may get a touch confusing as I work to make sense of _my_ timeline and also the canonical time line of the Bloodlines series. Since, as you may or may not know, Jill, Adrian, Sydney and Eddie are all supposed to be in Palm Springs. So, yeah, things may get a bit confusing for the next bit. Anyways, I'm really glad you're all enjoying this. I suck at replying to people, but I'm going to make an effort to at least reply to the guests:**

**Guest for Ch. 4:  
**Thank you!

**Rat:  
**I'm glad you think so! I try to keep it interesting, at least a little bit, so that the characters are actually doing something even as they're reading. Though I really need to work on having them all do something. Some characters react a little louder than others.

**Divya:  
**This soon enough? :D  
**  
Kayla Lewis:  
**I'll try! Thank you!  
**  
Brooke:  
**I try to make it that way. Because I think some people forget just how hard some of this stuff is for Rose. But although she may be appearing a bit weak right now, she'll snap out of it a few times. She has some particularly strong reactions in the Jesse chapter. And it's not a matter of whether they _are_ interrupting, it's whether they want to interrupt. Sometimes I have to force them to say something they may not otherwise say, just because there hasn't been enough talking with them. I always thought they _should_ have a copy of each book anyways. But thanks for the copyright warning!

**Translations for this chapter [Courtesy of my friend from school – who's actually from Russia! Thanks Nami!]**

_**horosho s nei otnosisshya?: **_Do you treat this woman well?**  
**_**Nyet, babushka. Ya ei prichinil bol': **_No, grandma. I haven't. I've hurt her a lot.**  
**_**Dimka, ya ne imeyu vvidu proshloye. Eto pozadi. Ya imeyu vvidu seichas. Vi snove vmeste, kak ti obrashyaeshsya s nei?: **_Dimka, I'm not talking about the past. That's behind you. I mean now. Since you two have been together again, have you treated her well.**  
**_**Horosho: **_Good.**  
**_**Mne nravitsya ona. U neyo ogon'. Plamya kotoroya toch v toch kak tvoyo plamye. Ona otvet iz nebes- chto moya mechta ispolnilas': **_I like her. She has a fire... A fire that's just like yours. Shes the answer from the skies that my dream came true [but apparently more fancy?]**  
**_**Vasha mechta, babushka?: **_Your dream, grandmother?  
_**Ya mechtala o nei. V moih snah, ona prishla v Baia- ona blistala i gorela kak zvyozdi! Velikii voin, ona- velikii dela zhdut eyo!: **_I dreamed of her coming to Baia. In my dreams, she shone, burned like a star. A great warrior, who could do great deeds.  
_**Ona dostoinaya: **_She's a worthy one.**  
**_**Ya eyo ochen' lyublyu, babushka: **_I love her very much, grandmother.**  
**_**Ya znayu. Ne poteryai eyo: **_I know. Don't lose her**  
**_**tak trudno:**_It's hard**  
****ya**_** slishkom mnogo eyo poteryal: **_I've almost lost her so many times**  
**_**ona vse eshe zdes'- to: **_And yet, she's still here.**  
**_**Dimka! nauchi ei russkii!: **_Dimka! Teach this girl Russian!**  
**_**Da, Babushka!: **_Yes, grandma!**  
**_**Spasibo: **_Thank you.


	8. Chapter 8

"SHIT" I GASPED AS THEY began swarming me. They were weak, barely there, but they were there just the same. I saw Andre, and Lissa's parents, and others. Many others. Floating skulls pulsed in the corners, swarming me, but I grit my teeth. I'd taken the barrier down. Now it was time to put it back up. With a great deal of effort, I slowly slid the wall back into place, growling under my breath sharp commands at the ghosts. They faded, but the headache pulsed for moments before fading into a dull ache. "Well," I said slowly, "I can definitely still see ghosts."

"We should probably head back," Dimitri commented, glancing down at me in concern. I nodded, focusing on keeping my footing. My earpiece buzzed in my ear, and my mother's voice came through.

"Rose?"

I pressed the button on the earpiece that let me respond, "Hey, sorry, we're headed back. All clear."

"Don't take too long."

I quickened my pace in response, chuckling. To Dimitri, I said, "you know. Victor's lust charm is probably going to be in this one, right? And we'll be reading it out to your mother, grandmother, and little sister?"

He stiffened. Definitely hadn't thought of that. He let out a string of curse words as we crossed back within the wards but, once again, they were in Russian. I grumbled, "that's the first thing you're teaching me." I commented. He shook his head but said nothing as we entered back into the house. Relieved to be back in the warmth and away from the dark shadows of the forest, I removed my jacket and shoes, pulling my gloves off. To my delight, Mia had found some marshmallows and a few sticks from the back yard, and was roasting them in the fireplace. I grinned and roasted one with Mia, Lissa and Viktoria, wincing at the heat as I ate it. Eddie and Dimitri joined in, followed by Sydney, Jill, Adrian and Christian. After about ten minutes, the two bags that had been found were gone, and we all had to go wash our hands.

"So who reads next?" Lissa asked, sitting back down. We glanced around, and finally, Sydney offered, giving me an apologetic look. I shrugged; it was only going to get worse.

"**A COUPLE WEEKS PASSED AFTER that, and I soon forgot the Anna thing as life at the Academy wrapped around me. The shock of our return had worn off a little, and we began to fall int a semi-comfortable routine. My days revolved around church, lunch with Lissa, and whatever sort of social life I could scrape together outside of that. Denied any real free time, I didn't have too hard a time staying out of the spotlight, although I did manage to steal a little attention here and there, despite my noble speech to her about 'coasting through the middle.' I couldn't help it. I liked flirting, I liked groups, and I liked making smartass comments in class.**

**Her new, incognito role attracted attention simply because it was so different than before we'd left, back when she'd been so active with the royals. Most people soon let that go, accepting that the Dragomir princess was fading off the social radar and content to run with Natalie and her group. Natalie's rambling still made me want to beat my head against a wall sometimes, but she was really nice – nicer than almost any of the other royals – and I enjoyed hanging around her most of the time.**

**And, just as Kirova had warned, I was indeed training and working out all the time. But as more time passed, my body stopped hating me. My muscles grew tighter, and my stamina increased. I still got my ass kicked in practice but not quite as badly as I used to, which was something. The biggest toll now seemed to be on my skin. Being outside in the cold so much was chapping my face, and only Lissa's constant supply of skin-care lotions kept me from ageing before my time. She couldn't do much for the blisters on my hands and feet.**

**A routine also developed with Dimitri and me. Mason had been right about him being antisocial. Dimitri didn't hang out much with the other guardians, though it was clear they all respected him. And the more I worked with him, the more I respected him too, though I didn't really understand his training methods. They didn't seem very badass. We always started by stretching in the gym, and lately he'd been sending me outside to run, braving the increasingly cold Montana autumn.**

**Three weeks after my return to the Academy, I walked into the gym before school one day and found him sprawled on a mat, reading a Louis L'Amour book. Someone had brought in a portable CD player, and while that cheered me up at first, the song coming from it did not: "When Doves Cry" by Prince." **There were a few snickers, but he took it stoically. **"It was embarrassing to know the title, but one of our former housemates had been obsessed with the '80s.**

"**Whoa, Dimitri," I said, tossing y bag on the floor. "I realise this is actually a current hit in Eastern Europe right now, but do you think we could maybe listen to something that wasn't recorded before I was born?"**

**Only his eyes flicked toward me; the rest of his posture remained the same. "What does it matter to you? I'm the one who's going to be listening to it. You'll be outside running."**

**I made a face as I set my foot up on one of the bars and stretched my hamstrings. All things considered, Dimitri had a good-natured tolerance for my snarkiness. So long as I didn't slack in my training, he didn't mind my running commentary.**

"**Hey," I asked, moving on to the next set of stretches, "what's with all the running, anyway? I mean, I realise the importance of stamina and all that, but shouldn't I be moving on to something with a little hitting? They're still killing me in group practice."**

"**Maybe you should hit harder," he replied drily.**

"**I'm serious."**

"**Hard to tell the difference." He set the book down but didn't move from his sprawl. "My job is to get you ready to defend the princess and fight dark creatures, right?"**

"Dark creatures? Really?" Christian snickered.

"**Yup."**

"**So tell me this: suppose you manage to kidnap her again and take her off to the mall. While you're there, a Strigoi comes at you. What will you do?"**

"**Depends on what store we're in."**

**He looked at me.**

"**Fine. I'll stab him with a silver stake."**

**Dimitri sat up now, crossing his long legs in one fluid motion. I still couldn't figure out how someone so tall could be so graceful."**

"Years and years of practice, Roza," Dimitri laughed. Olena joined in.

"he was such an awkward one during his teenage years. He just sprouted up one night, all muscle and limb but no coordination. He was always knocking things over, or bumping into things, or stubbing his toes." I laughed with them, imagining it. Obviously, though, it didn't last long, considering he beat up his Moroi father when he was thirteen.

"**Oh?" He raised his dark eyebrows. "Do you have a silver stake? Do you even know how to use one?"**

**I dragged my eyes away from his body," **There were snorts, "**and scowled. Made with elemental magic, silver stakes were a guardian's deadliest weapon. Stabbing a Strigoi through the heart with one meant instant death. The blades were also lethal to Moroi, so they weren't given out lightly to novices. My classmates had just started learning to use them. I'd trained with a gun before, but no one would let me near a stake yet. Fortunately, there were two other ways to kill a Strigoi.**

"**Okay. I'll cut his head off."**

"**Ignoring the fact that you don't have a weapon to do that, how will you compensate for the fact that he may be a foot taller than you?"**

**I straightened up from touching my toes, annoyed. "Fine, then I'll set him on fire."**

"**Again, with what?"**

"Christian," I answered. He met my eyes and grinned.

"**All right, I give up. You've already got the answer. You're just messing with me. I'm at the mall and I see a Strigoi. What do I do?"**

**He looked at me and didn't blink. "You run."**

**I repressed the urge to throw something at him. When I finished my stretches, he told me he'd run with me. That was a first. Maybe running would give me some insight into his killer reputation.**

**We set out into the chilly October evening. Being back on a vampiric schedule," **Sydney glanced up, "again, more like _unholy_ schedule, "**still felt weird to me. With school about to start in an hour, I expected the sun to be coming up, not down. But it was sinking on the western horizon, lighting up the snow-capped mountains with an orange glow. It didn't really warm things up, and I soon felt the cold pierce my lungs as my need for oxygen deepened. We didn't speak. He slowed his pace to match mine, so we stayed together. Something about that bothered me; I suddenly very much wanted his approval. So I picked up my own pace, working my lungs and muscles harder. Twelve laps around the track made three miles; we had nine more to go.**

**When we reached the third-to-last loop, a couple of other novices passed by, preparing to go to the group practice I'd soon be at as well. Seeing me, Mason cheered. "Good form, Rose!"**

**I smiled and waved back.**

"**You're slowing down," Dimitri snapped, jerking my gaze from the boys. The harshness in his voice startled me." **

"Yeah, what was up with that, by the way?" I asked, looking at him. To my annoyance, he didn't say anything. At least, not at first.

"If you aren't focused on your training, and are distracted by others, then you and the princess were at risk."

I'm pretty sure he was just jealous.

"**Is this why your times aren't getting any faster? You're easily distracted?"**

**Embarrassed, I increased my speed once more, despite the fact that my body started screaming obscenities at me. We finished the twelve laps, and when he checked, he found we'd shaved two minutes off my best time."**

"**Not bad, huh?" I crowed when we headed back inside for cool-down stretches. "Looks like I could get as far as the Limited before the Strigoi got me at the mall. Not sure how Lissa would do."**

"**If she was with you, she'd be okay."**

Lissa smiled, and I blushed. "Aww." Adrian looked a little uncomfortable. I didn't blame him.

"**I looked up in surprise. It was the first real compliment he'd paid me since I started training with him. His brown eyes watched me, both approving and amused. **

**And that's when it happened.**

**I felt like someone had shot me."**

"Having been shot," I stated, "that statement was a _bit_ of an exaggeration. Not much, but a bit of one."

"**Sharp and biting, terror exploded in my body and in my head. Small razors of pain. My vision blurred, and for a moment, I wasn't standing there. I was running down a flight of stairs, scared and desperate, needing to get out there, needing to find... me.**

**My vision cleared, leaving me back on the track and out of Lissa's head. Without a word to Dimitri, I tore off, running as fast as I could toward the Moroi dorm. It didn't matter that I'd just put my legs through a mini-marathon. They ran hard and fast, like they were shiny and new. Distantly, I was aware of Dimitri catching up to me, asking me what was wrong. But I couldn't answer him. I had one task and one alone: get to the dorm.**

**Its looming, ivy-covered form was just coming into view when Lissa met up with us, her face streaked with tears. I came to a jarring stop, my lungs ready to burst. **

"**What's wrong? What happened?" I demanded, clutching her arms, forcing her to look into my eyes. But she couldn't answer. She just flung her arms around me, sobbing into my chest. I held her there, stroking her sleek, silky hair while I told her it was going to be all right – whatever 'it' was. And honestly, I didn't care what it was just then. She was here, and she was safe, which was all that mattered. Dimitri hovered over us, alert and ready for any threat, his body coiled to attack. I felt safe with him beside us."**

Like I had promised Christian, the "good" stuff was coming soon. Lissa glanced back at me with a pained look on her face, one that I immediately tried to sooth. "Hey, hey, it's in the past, right?" I said to her, "I mean, I know... I know it's hard. What happened. But it's in the past. And we can't do anything about it."

"**A half hour later, we were crammed inside Lissa's dorm room with three other guardians, Ms. Kirova, and the hall matron. This was the first time I'd seen Lissa's room. Natalie had indeed managed to get her as a roommate, and the tw sides of the room were a study in contrasts. Natalie's looked lived in, with pictures on the wall and a frilly bedspread that wasn't dorm-issue. Lissa had as few possessions as I did, making her half noticeably bare. She did have one picture taped to the wall, a picture taken from last Halloween, when we'd dressed up like fairies, complete with wings and glittery makeup. Seeing that picture and remembering how things used to be made a dull pain form in my chest.**

**With all the excitement, no one seemed to remember that I wasn't supposed to be in there. Outside in the hall, other Moroi girls crowded together, trying to figure out what was going on. Natalie pushed her way through them, wondering what the commotion in her room was. When she discovered it, she came to a screeching halt."**

"Oh no." Lissa groaned.

"**Shock and disgust showed on almost everyone's faces as we stared at Lissa's bed. There was a fox on the pillow. Its coat was reddish-orange, tinged in white. It looked so soft and cuddly that it could have been a pet, perhaps a cat, something you'd hold in your arms and snuggle with. **

**Aside from the fact that its throat had been slit.**

**The inside of the throat looked pink and jellylike. Blood stained that soft coat and had run down onto the yellow bedspread, forming a dark pool that spread across the fabric. The fox's eyes stared upward, glazed over with a sort of shocked look about the, like the fox couldn't believe this was happening."**

"Rose, did you have to _describe_ it?" Lissa complained, her skin tinted green. I could feel my own nausea, but forced it down.

"I was training to be a guardian, Lissa," I sighed, "it's important to note all the little details."

Sydney, Adrian and Jill had varying shades of green on their face. Olena looked horrified.

"**Nausea built up in my stomach, but I forced myself to keep looking. I couldn't afford to be squeamish. I'd be killing Strigoi someday. If I couldn't handle a fox, I'd never survive major kills. **

**What had happened to the fox was sick and twisted, obviously done by someone two fucked up for words. Lissa stared at it, her face death-pale, and took a few steps toward it, hand involuntarily reaching out. This gross act hit her hard, I knew, digging at her love of animals. She loved them, they loved her. **

**While on our own, she'd often begged me for a pet, but I'd always refused and reminded her we couldn't take care of one when we might have to flee at a moment's notice. Plus, they hated me. So she'd contented herself with helping and patching up strays she found and making friends with other people's pets, like Oscar the cat.**

**She couldn't patch this fox up, though. There was no coming back for it, but I saw in her face she wanted to help it, like she helped everything. I took her hand and steered her away, suddenly recalling a conversation from two years ago." **My eyes fell on Sonya's. Lissa's did too.

"**What is that? Is it a crow?**

**Too big. It's a raven.**

**Is it dead?**

**Yeah. Definitely dead. Don't touch it."**

**She hadn't listened to me back then. I hoped she would now.**

"**It was still alive when I got back," Lissa whispered to me, clutching my arm. "Barely. Oh God, it was twitching. It must have suffered so much."**

**I felt bile rise in my throat now. Under no circumstances would I throw up. "Did you-?"**

"**No. I wanted to... I started to..."**

"**Then forget about it," I said sharply. "It's stupid. Somebody's stupid joke. They'll clean it up. Probably even give you a new room if you want."**

**She turned to me, eyes almost wild. "Rose... do you remember... that one time..."**

"**Stop it," I said."Forget about it. This isn't the same thing."**

"**What if someone saw? What if someone knows?"**

"Knows what?" Viktoria asked, somewhat impatiently.

"Later."

"**I tightened my grip on her arm, digging my nails in to get her attention. She flinched. "No. It's not the same. It has nothing to do with that. Do you hear me?" I could feel both Natalie and Dimitri's eyes on us. "It's going to be okay. Everything's going to be okay."**

**Not looking like she believed me at all, Lissa nodded.**

"**Get this cleaned up," Kirova snapped to the matron. "And find out if anyone saw anything."**

**Someone finally realised I was there and ordered Dimitri to take me away, no matter how much I begged them to let me stay with Lissa. He walked me back to the novices' dorm. He didn't speak until we were almost there. "You know something. Something about what happened. Is this what you meant when you told Headmistress Kirova that Lissa was in danger?"  
"I don't know anything. It's just some sick joke."**

"**Do you have any idea who'd do it? Or why?"**

**I considered this. Before we'd left, it could have been any number of people. That was the way it was when you were popular. People loved you, people hated you. But now? Lissa had faded off to a certain extent. The only person who really and truly despised her was Mia, but Mia seemed to fight her battles wit words, not actions. And even if she did decide to do something more aggressive, why do this? She didn't see like the type. There were a million other ways to get back at a person. "No," I told him, "No clue."**

"**Rose, if you know something, tell me. We're on the same side. We both want to protect her. This is serious."**

**I spun around, taking my anger over the fox out on him. "Yeah, it is serious. It's all serious. And you have me doing laps every day when I should be learning to fight and defend her! If you want to help her, then teach me something! _Teach me how to fight._ I already know how to run away."**

**I didn't realise until that moment how badly I did want to learn, how I wanted to prove myself to him, to Lissa, and to everyone else. The fox incident had made me feel powerless, and I didn't like that. I wanted to do something, _anything_.**

**Dimitri watched my outburst calmly, with no change in his expression. When I finished, he simply beckoned me forward like I hadn't said anything. "Come on. You're late for practice."**

Sydney took a deep breath, apparently relieved to have finished. She leaned back against the couch, nodding a little. "So, the plot thickens."

"So it would seem."


	9. Chapter 9

MY STOMACH FLIPPED NERVOUSLY. Adrian, Alberta, mom, dad, Jillian, Viktoria, Olena, Sonya, Mikhail... the Jesse chapter was coming up soon. Who was going to be the one to read that one? I didn't even want to know. Adrian seemed about to speak, but to my astonishment, it was Alberta who offered to go next. When I questioned her, she shrugged.

"I would like to take another patrol of the perimeter. It's best that I get this out of the way first."

I shrugged my shoulders, flipping through the book. As far as I could tell, this was a short chapter, and had more to do with the flame thing with Christian. What harm could it do? "Alright, then," I smiled awkwardly. I met Lissa's eyes and made a weird face. God, this was so awkward. I liked Alberta, sure, but did I want her reading about my life? No, not really. Still, what could I do? Alberta cleared her throat and began to read.

"**BURNING WITH ANGER, I FOUGHT harder and better that day than I ever had in any of my classes with the novices. So much so that I finally one my first hand-to-hand pairing, annihilating Shane Reyes. We'd always gotten along, and he took it good-naturedly, applauding my performance, as did a few others.**

"**The comeback's starting," observed Mason after class.**

"**So it would seem."**

**He gently touched my arm."How's Lissa?"**

**It didn't surprise me that he knew. Gossip spread so fast around here sometimes, it felt like everyone had a psychic bond.**

"**Okay. Coping." I didn't elaborate on how I knew that. Our bond was a secret from the student body. "Mase, you claim to know about Mia. You think she might have done that?"**

"**Whoa, hey, I'm not an expert on her or anything. But honestly? No. Mia won't even do dissections in biology. I can't picture actually catching a fox, let alone, um, killing it."**

"**Any friends who might do it for her?"**

**He shook his head. "Not really. They're not really the types to get their hands dirty either. But who knows?"**

**Lissa was still shaken when I met her for lunch later, her mood made worse when Natalie and her crew wouldn't shut up about the fox. Apparently Natalie had overcome her disgust enough to enjoy the attention the spectacle had brought her. Maybe she wasn't as content with her fringe status as I'd always believed.**

"**And it was just **_**there,"**_** she explained, waving her hands for emphasis. "Right in the middle of the bed. There was blood **_**everywhere."**_

**Lissa looked as green as the sweater she wore, and I pulled her away before I even finished my food and immediately launched into a string of obscenities about Natalie's social skills." **Alberta glanced up and gave me a look, but said nothing as she returned to the book, "**She's nice," Lissa said automatically. "You were just telling me the other day how much you liked her."**

"**I do like her, but she's just incompetent about certain things."**

**We stood outside our animal behaviour class, and I noticed people giving us curious looks and whispering as they passed. I sighed. "How are you doing with all this?"**

**A half-smile crossed her face. "Can't you already feel it?"**

"**Yeah, but I want to hear it from you."**

"**I don't know. I'll be okay. I wish everyone wouldn't keep staring at me like I'm some kind of freak."**

**My anger exploded again. The fox was bad. People upsetting her made it worse, but at least I could do something about them. "Who's bothering you?"**

"**Rose, you can't beat up everyone we have a problem with."**

"**Mia?" I guessed.**

"**And others," she said evasively. "Look, it doesn't matter. What I want to know is how this could have... that is, I can't stop thinking about that time-"**

"**Don't," I warned.**

Viktoria was getting frustrated. Even Sydney and Adrian were curious. I couldn't help but grin.

"**Why do you keep pretending that didn't happen? You of all people. You made fun of Natalie for going on and on, but it's not like you've got a good grip on your control switch. You'll normally talk about anything."**

"**But not _that._ We need to forget about it. It was a long time ago. We don't even really know what happened." **

**She stared at me with those big green eyes, calculating her next argument.**

"**Hey, Rose."**

**Our conversation dropped as Jesse strolled up to us. I turned on my best smile. "Hey."**

**He nodded cordially to Lissa. "So hey, I'm going to be in your dorm tonight for a study group. You think... maybe..."**

**Momentarily forgetting Lissa, I focused my full attention on Jesse. Suddenly, I so needed to do something wild and bad. Too much had happened today. "Sure."**

My mother sighed. "Leave it to Rose. When things go bad, she gets worse."

"Hey!" I protested, "this was before! Actually, after that meeting, I sort of... change." I met Dimitri's eyes.

"**He told me when he'd be there, and I told him I'd meet him in one of the common areas with "further instructions."**

**Lissa stared at me when he let. "You're under house arrest. They won't let you hang out and talk to him."**

"**I don't really want to 'talk' to him. We'll slip away."**

**She groaned. "I just don't know about you sometimes."**

"**That's because you're the cautious one, and I'm the reckless one."**

**Once animal behaviour started, I pondered the likelihood of Mia being responsible. From the smug look on her psycho-angel face, she certainly seemed to be enjoying the sensation caused by the bloody fox. But that didn't mean she was the culprit, and after observing her over the last couple of weeks, I knew she'd enjoy anything that upset Lissa and me. She didn't need to be the one who had done it.**

"**Wolves, like many other species, differentiate their packs into alpha males and alpha females whom the others defer to. Alphas are almost always the strongest physically, though many times, confrontations turn out to be more a matter of willpower and personality. When an alpha is challenged and replaced, that wolf may find himself ostracised from the group or even attacked."**

**I looked up from my daydreams and focused on Ms. Meissner.**

"**Most challenges are likely to occur during mating season," she continued. This, naturally, brought snickers from the class. "In most packs, the alpha pair are the **_**only**_** ones who mate. If the alpha male is an older, seasoned wolf, a younger competitor may think he has a shot. Whether that is true works on a case-by-case basis. The young often don't realise how seriously outclassed they are by the more experienced."**

**The old-and-young-wolf thing notwithstanding, I thought the rest was pretty relevant. Certainly in the Academy's social structure, I decided bitterly, there seemed to be a lot of alphas and challenges.**

**Mia raised her hand. "What about foxes. Do **_**they **_**have alphas too?"**

**There was a collective intake of breath from the class, followed by a few nervous giggles. No one could believe Mia had gone there. Ms. Meissner flushed with what I suspected was anger. "We're discussing wolves today, Miss Rinaldi."**

**Mia didn't seem to mind the subtle chastising, and when the class paired off to work on an assignment, she spent more time looking over at us and giggling. Through the bond, I could feel Lissa growing more and more upset as images of the fox kept flashing through her mind.**

"**Don't worry," I told her. "I've got a way -"**

"**Hey, Lissa," someone interrupted.**

"Here we go," Lissa and I muttered, laughing a little.

"**We both looked up as Ralf Sarcoszy stopped by our desks. He wore his trademark stupid grin, and I had a feeling he'd come over on a dare from his friends."So, admit it," he said. "You killed the fox. You're trying to convince Kirova you're crazy so that you can get out of here again."**

"**Screw you," I told him in a low voice.**

"**Are you offering?"**

"**from what I've heard, there isn't much to screw," I shot back. **

"**Wow," he said mockingly, "You _have_ changed. Last I remembered, you weren't too picky about who you got naked with."**

"Not true." I stated.

"**And the last I remember, the only people you ever saw naked were on the Internet." **

Adrian choked on his laughter.

"**He cocked his head in an overly dramatic fashion. Hey, I just got it: it was you, wasn't it?" He looked at Lissa, then back at me. "She got _you_ to kill the fox, didn't she? Some weird kind of lesbian voo- ahhh!"**

**Ralf burst into flames."**

Viktoria gaped, "wait, what?"

I laughed, "and cue Christian, stage right."

"**I jumped and pushed Lissa out of the way – not easy to do, since we were sitting at our desks. We both ended up on the floor as screams – Ralf's in particular – filled the classroom and Ms. Meissner sprinted for the fire extinguisher.**

**And then, just like that, the flames disappeared. Ralf was still screaming and patting himself down, but he didn't have a single singe mark on him. The only indication of what had happened was the lingering smell of smoke in the air.**

**For several seconds, the entire classroom froze. Then, slowly, everyone put the pieces together. Moroi magical specialisations were well known, and after scanning the room, I deduced three fire users: Ralf, his friend Jacob, and-**

**Christian Ozera.**

**Since neither Jacob nor Ralf would have set Ralf on fire, it sort of made the culprit obvious. The fact that Christian was laughing hysterically sort of gave it away too.**

**Ms. Meissner changed from red to deep purple, "Mr. Ozera!" she screamed. "How dare you – do you have any idea – report to Headmistress Kirova's office now!"**

**Christian, completely unfazed, stood up and slung his backpack over one shoulder. That smirk stayed on his face. "Sure thing, Ms. Meissner." He went out of his way to walk past Ralf, who quickly backed away as he passed. The rest of the class stared, open-mouthed.**

**After that, Ms. Meissner attempted to return the class to normal, but it was a lost cause. No one could stop talking about what had happened. It was shocking on a few different levels. First, no one had ever seen that kind of spell: a massive fire that didn't actually burn anything. Second, Christian had used it offensively. He had attacked another person. Moroi never did that. They believed magic was meant to take care of the earth, to help people live better lives. It was never, ever used as a weapon."**

Christian snorted. "And that's why the Strigoi are picking us off."

Mia nodded, "amen."

"**Magic instructors never taught those kinds of spells; I don't think they even knew any. Finally, craziest of all, _Christian_ had done it. Christian, whom no one ever noticed or gave a damn about. Well, they'd notice him now. It appeared someone still knew offensive spells after all, and as much as I had enjoyed the look of terror on Ralf's face, it suddenly occurred to me that Christian might really and truly be psycho."**

Christian chuckled, "thanks Rose."

"**Liss," I said as we walked out of class, "please tell me you haven't hung out with him again."**

**The guilt that flickered through the bond told me more than any explanation could.**

"**Liss!" I grabbed her arm.**

"**Not that much," she said uneasily. "He's really okay-"**

"**Okay? _Okay?_" People in the hall stared at us. I realised I was practically shouting. "He's out of his mind. _He set Ralf on fire_. I thought we decided you weren't going to see him anymore."**

"**You decided, Rose. Not me." There was an edge in her voice I hadn't heard in a while.**

"**What's going on here? Are you guys... you know? ..." **

"**No!" **

"Not yet," I muttered.

"**She insisted. I told you that already. God." She shot me a look of disgust. "Not everyone thinks – and acts – like you."**

"Ouch."

"**I flinched at the words. Then we noticed that Mia was passing by. She hadn't heard the conversation but had caught the tone. A snide smile spread over her face. "Trouble in paradise?"**

"**Go find your pacifier, and shut the hell up."**

Adrian burst into laughter, and even Christian seemed amused. Mia shot me an exasperated grin. "You never seemed to run out of those little digs."

"**I told her, not waiting to hear her response. Her mouth dropped open, then tightened into a scowl. Lissa and I walked on in silence, and then Lissa burst out laughing. Like that, our fight diffused.**

"**Rose..." her tone was softer now.**

"**Lissa, he's dangerous. I don't like him. Please be careful."**

**She touched my arm. "I am. I'm the cautious one, remember? You're the reckless one."**

**I hoped that was still true. **

**But later, after school, I had my doubts. I was in my room doing homework," **

"Rose does homework?"

"**when I felt a trickle of what could only be called sneakiness coming from Lissa. Losing track of my work, I stared off into space, trying to get a more detailed understanding of what was happening to her. If ever there was a time for me to slip into her mind, it was now, but I didn't know how to control that.**

**Frowning, I tried to think what normally made the connection occur. Usually she was experience some strong emotion, an emotion so powerful it tried to blast into my mind. I had to work hard to fight against that; I always sort of kept a mental wall up.**

**Focusing on her now, I tried to remove the wall. I steadied my breathing and cleared my mind. My thoughts didn't matter, only hers did. I needed to open myself to her and let us connect.**

**I'd never done anything like this before; I didn't have the patience for meditation. My need was so strong, however, that I forced myself into an intense, focused relaxation. I needed to know what was going on with her and after a few more moments, my efforts paid off. I was in."**

Alberta stood up and moved to the door, followed by my mother. I looked at her, frowning a little, but tapped my ear pierce as a silent message to keep me informed. She nodded in understanding, and I moved to go talk to Mia.

Mia looked at me in surprise when I sat down beside her, and I offered her a hesitant smile. "Hey."

"Hey yourself," she replied, "what's up?"

"How you holding up?"

"Hm?"

"Well," I frowned, "it can't be easy. Reliving the earlier stuff. It's hard on me, but I'm not the only one affected by this. You okay?" Mia smiled at me.

"Yeah, I'm fine. It's kind of funny I guess, remembering how childish we were." I nodded. "don't worry, no hard feelings."

A wave of relief rolled through me and I smiled back. "I wonder... if maybe the purpose of this is to drive a wedge between me and my friends. Remind them of all our fights, bring up bad feelings from the past."

"But then why would they make you read them all?" She asked, "I mean. If there's six books, at some point we become friends, right?"

"I don't know," I sighed, "I really don't." My eyes fell on Mikhail, reminding me of Yeva's earlier comment. "I'll be back." I stood up and walked over to Mikhail, who was standing against the wall, talking to Sonya. I smiled despite myself, recalling how he looked when I first met him. I'm glad he got his happy ending. Their conversation faded as they both regarded me, curious and wary expressions on their face. I stood, hands on my hips, regarding them levelly – even though I had to look up at both of them.

"Alright," I said, "when were you going to tell me?"

"Tell you what, Rose?" Mikhail asked. My eyes narrowed a little.

"When'd you die, Mikhail?" I asked, my voice quiet but firm, "when did you become shadow-kissed?"


	10. Chapter 10

A LOOK OF GUILT crossed their faces. It was kind of surprising no one had noticed it before. Especially me. I mean, I might not be able to see auras like Adrian and Lissa – though Sonya was likely masking their auras – but I, of all people, knew a bond when I saw one. Not only had I had one for three years, but I'd also met Oksana and Mark, _and_ knew Adrian and Jill, and Avery, Reed and Simon. Four bonds. I had had experience with four bonds. How had I not noticed it before? Still, that look of guilt confirmed all I needed to know. A part of me was glad for them – I didn't want to see Sonya go crazy again, after all. But at the same time, I was concerned. I mean, Mikhail was my friend. I didn't want to see him go crazy either. "Mikhail, can I talk to you alone?" I asked. He hesitated only a moment before nodding, following me outside back into the garden.

"How long have you two been bonded?" I asked, bending to look at the tulips Lissa had brought back earlier. In the corner of my eye, I saw him frown.

"Two, no, three months," he said. Three months. It was December now, just after Christmas – I wondered idly if we'd be spending New Years hers but shoved that thought away – which meant that they'd been bonded since September. I frowned a little. September? Lissa had been coronated in July. Late July, early August. My math was wrong. It hadn't been six months. More like, four, five at the most. Oops.

"So, you've been bonded since September?" He nodded, "how did you die?"

Mikhail sighed, looking off into the trees, "it was when I was taking my vacation. Sonya and I had gone back to her house in Paris – she wanted to see her flowers again – but on the way there... it had rained the night before. A car slid off the road and swerved toward us. I pushed Sonya out of the way and took the full force of the hit. I remember hitting the tree, then worst pain of my life. After that, it's a blur. I just remember waking up with Sonya leaning over me, crying and holding me close, saying that she couldn't lose me again."

I shivered, a deep ache settling in my chest. Poor Sonya.

"I don't think she even meant to bring me back. She was too panicked to realise what was happening at the time. But it became pretty obvious when I began to feel her feelings. Luckily, I haven't had the feeling of me slipping into her head yet." He gave me a look.

"You'll get it," I stated, "and... it's actually rather useful. Not just for knowing where she is or when she's in trouble, but... I mean, Lissa's not gonna be pleased with this, but in moments of boredom, or when I couldn't rest, I could slip inside her head, so long as she wasn't asleep or having a romantic thing." I blinked, and a thought occurred to me. One I didn't want. I shoved it away, "but... it's probably best that you learn how to control it at will. If you can't get in and out on your command, then when it _does_ hit you, you'll be blindsided. And that could be a problem, one that was hard for me to deal with." But there was more, too. I took a hesitant breath.

"You probably haven't had to deal with it yet," I said slowly, "since... you probably haven't had to kill any Strigoi since you became Shadow-kissed, but when you do... you'll start seeing ghosts. Especially when you're outside the wards. The wards can keep them out. But they'll be waiting," he seemed astonished, but I had to continue, "you'll know it when it happens. You'll get a sharp piercing headache. The worst headache of your life. And you'll see glowing shadows. That's only if you get the weak form at first. When you see the ghosts themselves, they'll swarm you curiously. And in moments of sheer terror and panic, you can even call them to you and use them to attack Strigoi. They can't touch Strigoi, but they will distract them. The dead don't like the undead. But... you shouldn't do that. It's... it brings you closer to insanity. Another shadow-kissed guardian told me that. You'll have to learn to keep up a mental wall for those, too. And you'll have this weird nausea roll through you, not like when you're sick. That lets you know when there's a Strigoi nearby. I'm not sure what that is about, but it was really useful when I still had it."

He regarded me with wide eyes. "What else?"

I bit my lip, "can you sense her right now?" He nodded, "get a feel for her. Do you feel something... dark? Dark, twisted, churning, sickening feelings?" He nodded again, "that's the darkness in her. Spirit's madness. If you... I don't know how to describe it, pull at it. Tug at it. Bring it into yourself, then... you can take the darkness from her. But you have to be careful," hypocrite, "because the darkness will go into you. It'll flare up in you. I think it affects everyone differently. Sometimes it can flare up as a really dark, almost murderous temper. Actually, no wait, definitely a murderous temper," I frowned, recalling me killing Victor, "I killed someone because of the darkness. You'll... you'll find that out later, I guess. Other times it can be a sadness. A deep, dark depression. Or it could just be plain craziness, the kind that causes you to ramble on and on. Healing charms can keep it at bay, but... if you _do_ use it to help Sonya, you have to be careful. You can't let it destroy you in the process." Again, hypocrite. But he seemed to take my words at heart and nodded.

"Thank you, Rose."

I shrugged, like it was nothing. Just then, an odd feeling coursed through me. A faint stirring.

"Rose?"

I turned, surprised to see Lissa there. "Yeah?"

"Alberta and Janine have returned. Are you okay?" She frowned and glanced between Mikhail and I, "what's going on?"

"Nothing, just talking," I replied, heading back towards the door, and her, "we're coming in."

Once more we took our seats, and I noticed that Olena had cleared our bowls from earlier. She'd also placed a couple loaves of that black bread on the table, sliced, and closest to Dimitri and I. Nearby was a large thing of butter and a butter knife. I grinned at her, and Dimitri looked more than pleased. He, like I, immediately started on the bread, and I couldn't help but close my eyes in pleasure. Yeah, I definitely loved this stuff. I couldn't help but wonder what was in it, but thought it better not to ask. At least Dimitri knew how to make it, too.

"I'll read now," Adrian stated. I nodded, glancing at Alberta.

"Did you see anything?" She shook her head, and I nodded again, relieved. No Strigoi threats thus far. My eyes fell on Sonya and Mikhail, and I was surprised to see Sonya looking at me. Or, well, not me. My aura. She kept glancing at me and Lissa, but before I could say anything, Adrian had begun to read.

"**I SNAPPED INTO HER MIND, once again seeing and directly experiencing what went on around her.**

**She was sneaking into the chapel's attic again, confirming my worst fears. Like last time, she met no resistance. _Good God_, I thought, _could that priest be any worse about securing his own chapel?_ **

**Sunrise lit up the stained-glass window, and Christian's silhouette was framed against it: he was sitting in the window seat.**

"**You're late," he told her. "Been waiting awhile."**

**Lissa pulled up one of the rickety chairs, brushing dust off it. "I figured you'd be tied up with Headmistress Kirova."**

**He shook his head. "Not much to it. They suspended me for a week, that's all. Not like it's hard to sneak out." He waved his hands around. "As you can see."**

"**I'm surprised you didn't get more time."**

**A patch of sunlight lit up his crystal-blue eyes. "Disappointed?"**

**She looked shocked. "You set someone on fire!"**

"**No, I didn't. Did you see any burns on him?"**

"**He was covered in flames."**

"**I had them under control. I kept them off of him."**

**She sighed. "You shouldn't have done that."**

**Straightening out of his lounging position, he sat up and leaned toward her. "I did it for you."**

"**You attacked someone for me."**

"**Sure. He was giving you and Rose a hard time. She was doing an okay job against him, I guess, but I figured she could use the backup. Besides, this'll shut anyone else up about the whole fox thing, too."**

"**You shouldn't have done that," she repeated, looking away. She didn't know how to feel about this 'generosity.' "And don't act like it was all for me. You _liked_ doing it."**

"Hard not to," Christian snorted, "his face was priceless."

"**Part of you wanted to – just because."**

**Christian's smug expression dropped, replaced by one of uncharacteristic surprise. Lissa might not be psychic, but she had a startling ability to read people. Seeing him off guard, she continued. "Attacking someone else with magic is forbidden – and that's _exactly_ why you wanted to do it. You got a thrill out of it."**

"**Those rules are stupid. If we used magic as a weapon, instead of just for warm and fuzzy shit, Strigoi wouldn't keep killing so many of us."**

"**It's wrong," she said firmly. "Magic is a gift. It's peaceful."**

"**Only because they say it is. You're repeating the party line we've been fed our whole lives." He stood up and paced the small space of the attic. "It wasn't always that way, you know. We used to fight, right along with the guardians – centuries ago. Then people started getting scared and stopped. Figured it was safer to just hide. They forgot the attack spells."**

"**Then how did you know that one?"**

**He crooked her a smile. "Not everyone forgot."**

"**Like your family? Like your parents?"**

**The smile disappeared. "You don't know anything about my parents." His face darkened, his eyes grew hard. To most people, he might have appeared scary and intimidating, but as Lissa studied and admired his features, he suddenly seemed very, very vulnerable." **Adrian snorted and Christian glared.

"**You're right," she admitted softly, after a moment. "I don't. I'm sorry."**

**For the second time in this meeting, Christian looked astonished. Probably no one apologised to him that often."**

"Or ever."

"**Hell, no one even talked to him that often. Certainly no one ever listened. Like usual, he quickly turned into his cocky self. "Forget it." Abruptly, he stopped pacing and knelt in front of her so they could look each other in the eye. Feeling him so close made her hold her breath. A dangerous smile curled his lips. "And really, I don't get why _you_ of all people should act so outraged that I used 'forbidden' magic."**

"**Me 'of all people'? What's that supposed to mean?"**

"**You can play all innocent if you want – and you do a pretty good job – but I know the truth."**

"**What truth is that?" She couldn't hide her uneasiness from me or Christian.**

**He leaned even closer. "That you use compulsion. All the time."**

"**No, I don't," she said immediately.**

"**Of course you do. I've been lying awake at night, tying to figure out how in the world you two were able to rent out a place and go to high school without anyone ever wanting to meet your parents. Then I figured it out. You had to be using compulsion. That's probably how you broke out of here in the first place."**

"**I see. You just figured it out. Without any proof."**

"**I've got all the proof I need, just from watching you."**

"**You've been watching me – spying on me – to prove I'm using compulsion?"**

**He shrugged. "No. Actually, I've been watching you just because I like it."**

Mia grinned, "smooth Christian." Lissa blushed and I couldn't help but chuckle as I reached for more bread.

"**The compulsion thing was a bonus. I saw you use it the other day to get an extension on that math assignment. And you used it on Ms. Carmack when she wanted to make you go through more testing."**

"**So you assume it's compulsion? Maybe I'm just really good at convincing people." there was a defiant note in her voice: understandable, considering her fear and anger. Only she delivered it with a toss of her hair which – if I didn't know any better – might have been considered flirtatious. And I did know better... right? Suddenly, I wasn't sure.**

**He went on, but something in his eyes told me he'd noticed the hair, that he always noticed everything about her. "People get these goofy looks on their faces when you talk to them. And not just any people – you're able to do it to Moroi. Probably dhampirs, too. Now _that's _crazy. I didn't even know that was possible. You're some kind of superstar. Some kind of evil, compulsion-abusing superstar." it was an accusation, but his tone and presence radiated the same flirtatiousness she had.**

**Lissa didn't know what to say. He was right. Everything he'd said was right. Her compulsion was what had allowed us to dodge authority and get along in the world without adult help. It was what had allowed us to convince the bank to let her tap into her inheritance. **

**And it was considered every bit as wrong as using magic as a weapon. Why not? It _was_ a weapon. A powerful one, one that could be abused very easily. Moroi children had it drilled into them from an early age that compulsion was very, very wrong. No one was taught to use it, though every Moroi technically had the ability. Lissa had just sort of stumbled into it – deeply – and, as Christian had pointed out, she could wield it over Moroi, as well as humans and dhampirs.**

"**What are you going to do then?" she asked. "You going to turn me in?"**

**He shook his head and smiled. "No. I think it's hot."**

I groaned, "here we go." I had a feeling I'd be saying that a lot. Beside me, Dimitri chuckled and pressed a kiss to my forehead.

"**She stared, eyes widening and heart racing. Something about the shape of his lips intrigued her." **

"Lissa what?"

"**Rose thinks you're dangerous," she blurted out nervously. "She thinks you might have killed the fox."**

**I didn't know how I felt about being dragged into this bizarre conversation. Some people were scared of me. Maybe he was too. **

**Judging from the amusement in his voice when he spoke, it appeared he wasn't. "People think I'm unstable, but I tell you, Rose is ten times worse."**

"Thanks for that." I muttered. Christian shrugged.

"It was kind of true. Especially with the darkness."

"**Of course, that makes it harder for people to fuck with _you_, so I'm all for it." Leaning back on his heels, he finally broke the intimate space between them. "And I sure as hell didn't do _that_. Find out who did, though... and what I did to Ralf won't seem like anything."**

**His gallant offer of creepy vengeance didn't exactly reassure Lissa... but it did thrill her a little. "I don't want you doing anything like that. And I still don't know who did it."**

**He leaned back toward her and caught her wrists in his hands. He started to say something, then stopped and looked down in surprise, running his thumbs over faint, barely there scars. Looking back up at her, he had a strange – for him – kindness in his face. "You might not know who did it. But you know something. Something you aren't talking about."**

**She stared at him, a swirl of emotions playing in her chest. "You can't know all my secrets," she murmured.**

**He glanced back down at her wrists and then released them, that dry smile of his back on his face. "No. I guess not."**

**A feeling of peace settled over her, a feeling I thought only I could bring. Returning to my own head and my room, I sat on the floor staring at my math book. Then, for reasons I didn't really get, I slammed it shut and threw it against the wall."**

Lissa looked at me in surprise and Adrian chuckled, glancing up as well. "You were jealous, little dhampir?" I didn't say anything. Wouldn't meet her eyes.

"**I spent the rest of the night brooding until the time I was supposed to meet Jesse came around. Slipping downstairs, I went into the kitchen – a place I could visit so long as I kept things brief - and caught his eye when I cut through the main visiting area. Moving past him, I paused and whispered, "There's a lounge on the fourth floor that nobody uses. Take the stairs on the other side of the bathrooms and meet me there in five minutes. The lock on the door is broken."**

**He complied to the second, and we found the lounge dark, dusty, and deserted. The drop in guardian numbers over the years meant a lot of the dorm stayed empty, a sad sign for Moroi society but terribly convenient right now."**

"You know what?" I jumped up suddenly, heat flooding my cheeks, "let's skip this part. Next chapter."

Adrian blinked, a sly smile spreading across his face, "what's wrong, little dhampir? Don't like what I'm about to read?"

"Are you forgetting that this is _my_ life we're reading?" I hissed, eyes narrowing in anger. No, I definitely did _not _like what was about to be read, "I'm not some freak show for you to gawk at. This isn't a game. This is _my_ life and _my_ experiences and I say next chapter!"

Lissa stood up and took my hand. To me, she whispered, "it's only going to get worse, Rose." That didn't make me feel any better, "please... calm down. You know we have to do this."

"I don't know _why! _What is the _purpose _of dragging me out here, and forcing me to relive my past? Who can be that sick and that twisted. Sure, this one isn't that bad. But it's going to get worse. So much worse. The worst experiences of my life. And you're all treating this like some fucking game!"

"Rose..."

"No, Lissa! You, of all people, should understand. You hated me going inside your head. It was an invasion of privacy. How do you think _I _feel about all this? This isn't just brief snippets. This is a – more or less – full _year_ of my life. And I can't do this!"

There was a moment of silence before my mother came over, putting her hand on my shoulder. "Rose... there really isn't anything we can do," she said, "I don't like this much either. And I don't think many of us do, despite what it may appear. But who ever has set this up... well, the only way we can figure this out is by going through it. I'm sorry," she added, seeing my face, "but there's really nothing we can do."

I sighed. "I'll be right back," I muttered, stepping outside. I spent a few minutes taking deep breaths and trying to calm myself down, pausing to punch a tree. It wasn't so bad. At least it wasn't Spirit's darkness bothering me – I'd be able to tell. Finally, I returned and sat down beside Dimitri. Without another word said about the situation, Dimitri slid his hand over mine and Adrian continued.

"**He sat down on the couch, and I lay back on it, putting my feet in his lap. I was still annoyed after Lissa and Christian's bizarre attic romance and wanted nothing more than to forget about it for a while.**

"**You really here to study, or was it just an excuse?" I asked.**

"**No. It was real. Had to do an assignment with Meredith." The tone in his voice indicated he wasn't happy about that.**

"**Oooh," I teased. "Is working with a dhampir beneath your royal blood? Should I be offended?"**

**He smiled, showing a mouth full of perfect white teeth and fangs. "You're a lot hotter than she is."**

"**Glad I make the cut." There was a sort of heat in his eyes that was turning me on, as was his hand sliding up my leg. But I needed to do something first. It was time for some vengeance. "Mia must too, since you guys let her hang out with you. She's not royal."**

**His finger playfully poked me in the calf. "She's with Aaron. And I've got lots of friends who aren't royal. And friends who are dhamps. I'm not a total asshole."**

"**Yeah, but did you know her parents are practically custodians for the Drozdovs?" **

**The hand on my leg stopped. I'd exaggerated, but he was a sucker for gossip – and he was notorious for spreading it."**

"**Seriously?"**

"**Yeah. Scrubbing floors and stuff like that."**

"**Huh."**

**I could see the wheels turning in his dark blue eyes and had to hide a smile. The seed was planted. Sitting up, I moved closer to him and draped a leg over his lap. I wrapped my arms around him, and without further delay, thoughts of Mia disappeared as his testosterone kicked in. He kissed me eagerly – sloppily, even – pushing me against the back of the couch, and I relaxed into what had to be the first enjoyable physical activity I'd had in weeks. We kissed like that for a long time, and I didn't stop him when he pulled off my shirt.**

"**I'm not having sex," I warned between kisses. I had no intention of losing my virginity on a couch in a lounge.**

**He paused, thinking about this, and finally decided not to push it. "Okay."**

**But he pushed me onto the couch, lying over me, still kissing with that same fierceness. His lips travelled down to my neck, and when the sharp points of his fangs brushed against my skin, I couldn't help an excited gasp."**

"Rose..." My mother warned.

"**He raised himself up, looking into my face with open surprise. For a moment, I could barely breathe, recalling that rush of pleasure that a vampire bite could fill me with, wondering what it'd be like to feel that while making out." **

"Rose!"

"**Then the old taboos kicked in. Even if we didn't have sex, giving blood while we did _this_ was still wrong, still dirty.**

"**Don't," I warned.**

"**You want to." His voice held excited wonder. "I can tell."**

"**No, I don't."**

**His eyes lit up. "You do. How – hey, have you done it before?"**

"**No," I scoffed. "Of course not."**

**Those gorgeous blue eyes watched me, and I could see the wheels spinning behind them. Jesse might flirt a lot and have a bit mouth, but he wasn't stupid."**

"Debatable." Dimitri grumbled.

"**You act like you have. You got excited when I was by your neck."**

"**You're a good kisser," I countered, though it wasn't entirely true. He drooled a little more than I would have preferred."**

"Ew," Lissa muttered. I glanced over and caught Mia's eye. She grimaced, and I mirrored it.

"**Don't you think everyone would know if I was giving blood?"**

**The realisation seized him. "Unless you weren't doing it before you left. You did it while you were gone, didn't you? You fed Lissa."**

"**Of course no," I repeated.**

**But he was on to something, and he knew it. "It was the only way. You didn't have feeders. Oh, man."**

"**She found some," I lied. It was the same line we'd fed Natalie, the one she'd spread around that no one – except Christian – had ever questioned."Plenty of humans are into it?"**

"**Sure," he said with a smile. He leaned his mouth back to my neck.**

"**I'm not a blood whore," I snapped, pulling away from him.**

"**But you _want_ to. You like it. All you dhamp girls do." His teeth were on my skin again. Sharp. Wonderful.**

**I had a feeling hostility would only make things worse, so I defused the situation with teasing. "Stop it," I said gently, running a fingertip over his lips. "I told you, I'm not like that. But if you want something to do with your mouth, I can give you some ideas."**

**That peaked his interest. "Yeah? Like wha - ?"**

**And that was when the door opened."**

I groaned and ducked my head into Dimitri's shoulder. I knew what was coming.

"**We sprang apart. I was ready to handle a fellow student or even possibly the matron. What I was not ready for was Dimitri.**

**He burst in the door like he'd expected to find us, and in that horrible moment, with him raging like a storm, I knew why Mason had called him a god. In the blink of an eye, he crossed the room and jerked Jesse up by his shirt, nearly holding the Moroi off the ground.**

"**What's your name?" barked Dimitri.**

"**J-Jesse, sir. Jesse Zeklos, sir."**

"**Mr. Zeklos, do you have permission to be in this part of the dorm?"**

"**No, sir."**

"**Do you know the rules about male and female interactions around here?"**

"**Yes, sir."**

"**Then I suggest you get out of here as fast as you can before I turn you over to someone who will punish you accordingly. If i ever see you like this again" - Dimitri pointed to where I cowered, half-dressed, on the couch - "_I _will be the one to punish you. And it will hurt. A lot. Do you understand?"**

There was a collective intake of breath as eyes fell on Dimitri. I glanced up, noticing Adrian's surprised glance. I supposed he wasn't exactly used to Dimitri threatening harm on a royal Moroi student. And, yeah, it kind of surprised me too. Abe, on the other hand, was looking at Dimitri with approval. Great.

"**Jesse swallowed, eyes wide. None of the bravado he usually showed was there. I guess there was "usually" and then there was being held in the grip of a really ripped, really tall, and really pissed-off Russian guy." **

There were a few laughs.

"**Yes, sir!"**

"**Then _go._" Dimitri released him, and, if possible, Jesse got out of there faster than Dimitri had burst in. **

**My mentor then turned to me, a dangerous glint in his eyes. He didn't say anything, but the angry, disapproving message came through loud and clear. **

**And then it shifted."**

"Oh no..." I groaned, feeling my cheeks heat up as I ducked back into Dimitri's shoulder.

"**It was almost like he'd been taken by surprise, like he'd never noticed me before. Had it been any other guy, I would have said he was checking me out. As it was, he was definitely studying me. Studying my face, my body. And I suddenly realised I was only in jeans and a bra – a black bra at that. I knew perfectly well that there weren't a lot of girls at this school who looked as good in a bra as I did. Even a guy like Dimitri, one who seemed so focused on duty and training and all of that, had to appreciate that.**

**And, finally, I noticed that a hot flush was spreading over me, and that the look in his eyes was doing more to me than Jesse's kisses had."**

"Really?" Dimitri chuckled. I groaned even more.

"**Dimitri was quiet and distance sometimes, but he also had a dedication and an intensity that I'd never seen in any other person. I wondered how that kind of power and strength translated into... well, sex."**

I jumped up again, protests coming to my lips. I was interrupted, however, by Dimitri pulling me into his lap and wrapping his arms around me. I looked up at him in betrayal, my glare faltering when I saw the look in his eyes. God dammit. Man was too sexy for his own good.

"**I wondered what it'd be like for him to touch me and – shit!**

**What was I thinking? Was I out of my mind?" **

"Yep."

"Sh-Shut up."

"**Embarrassed, I covered my feelings with attitude."**

"**You see something you like?" I asked."**

Dimitri pressed his lips to my ear. "Lots." he murmured deeply. I swallowed and shifted. God dammit.

"**Get dressed."**

**The set of his mouth hardened, and whatever he'd just felt was gone. That fierceness sobered me up and made me forget about my own troubling reaction. I immediately pulled my shirt back on, uneasy at seeing his badass side. "How'd you find me? You following to make sure I don't run away?"**

"**Be quiet," he snapped, leaning down so that we were at eye level. "A janitor saw you and reported it. Do you have any idea how stupid this was?"**

"**I know, I know, the whole probation thing, right?"**

"**Not just that. I'm talking about the stupidity of getting in _that_ kind of situation in the first place."**

"**I get in _that_ kind of situation all the time, Comrade. It's not a big deal."**

My mother sighed.

"**Anger replaced my fear. I didn't like being treated like a child.**

"**Stop calling me that. You don't even know what you're taking about."**

"**Sure I do, I had to do a report on Russian and the R.S.S.R. Last year."**

On cue, all four Belikov's said, "USSR."

"**U.S.S.R. And it is a big deal for a Moroi to be with a dhampir girl. They like to brag."**

"**So?"**

"**So?" he looked disgusted. "So don't you have any respect? Think about Lissa. You make yourself look chap. You live up to what a lot of people already think about dhampir girls, and it reflects back on her. And me."**

"**Oh, I see. Is that what this is about? Am I hurting your big, bad male pride? Are you afraid I'll ruin your reputation?"**

"**My reputation is already made, Rose. I set my standards and lived up to them long ago. What you do with yours remains to be seen." His voice hardened again. "Now get back to your room – if you can manage it without throwing yourself at someone else."**

"Dimka!" Olena chastised.

"**Is that your subtle way of calling me a slut?"**

"**I hear the stories you guys tell. I've heard stories about you."**

**Ouch. I wanted to yell back that it was none of his business what I did with my body, but something about the anger and disappointment on his face made me falter. I didn't know what it was. "Disappointing" someone like Kirova was a non-event, but Dimitri? ... I remembered how proud I'd felt when he praised me the last few times in our practices. Seeing that disappear from him... well, it suddenly made me feel as cheap as he'd implied I was.**

**Something broke inside of me. Blinking back tears, I said, "why is it so wrong to... I don't know, have fun? I'm seventeen, you know. I should be able to enjoy it."**

"**You're seventeen, and in less than a year, someone's life and death will be in your hands." His voice still sounded firm, but there was a gentleness there too. "If you were human or Moroi, you could have fun. You could do things other girls could."**

Sydney frowned a little.

"**But you're saying I can't."**

**He glanced away, and his dark eyes went unfocused. He was thinking about something far away from here. "When I was seventeen, I met Ivan Zeklos. We weren't like you and Lissa, but we became friends, and he requested me as his guardian when I graduated. I was the top student in my school. I paid attention to everything in my classes, but in the end, it wasn't enough. That's how it is in this life. One slip, one distraction..." He sighed, "and it's too late."**

**A lump formed in my throat as I thought about one slip or one distraction costing Lissa her life. **

"**Jesse's a Zeklos," I said, suddenly realising Dimitri had just thrown around a relative of his former friend and charge.**

"**I know."**

"**Does it bother you? Does he remind you of Ivan?"**

"**It doesn't matter how I feel. It doesn't matter how any of us feel."**

Adrian paused, and the Moroi in the room turned to glance at us, varying expressions of realisation and sympathy on their faces. Sometimes I think they forgot just how much us dhampirs gave for them.

"**But it does bother you." It suddenly became very obvious to me. I could read his pain, though he clearly worked hard to hide it. "You hurt. Every day. Don't you? You miss him."**

**Dimitri looked surprised, like he didn't want me to know that, like I'd uncovered some secret part of him. I'd been thinking he was some aloof, antisocial tough guy, but maybe he kept himself apart from other people so he wouldn't get hurt if he lost them. Ivan's death had clearly left a permanent mark. **

**I wondered if Dimitri was lonely.**"

Dimitri shifted slightly, still holding me. I felt Alberta's eyes fall on us and glanced up at her, noting the surprise in her eyes. Olena and Viktoria, too, seemed a little surprised. Was I really the only one to realise that?

"**The surprised look vanished, and his standard serious one returned. "It doesn't matter how I feel. _They_ come first. Protecting them."**

**I thought about Lissa again. "Yeah. They do."**

**A long silence fell before he spoke again. **

"**You told me you want to fight, to _really_ fight. Is that still true?"**

"**Yes. Absolutely."**

"**Rose... I can teach you, but I have to believe you're dedicated. Really dedicated. I can't have you distracted by things like this." He gestured around the lounge. "Can I trust you?"**

**Again, I felt like crying under that gaze, under the seriousness of what he asked. I didn't get how he could have such a powerful effect on me. I'd never cared so much about what one person thought. "Yes. I promise."**

"**All right. I'll teach you, but I need you strong. I know you hate the running, but it really is necessary. You have no idea what Strigoi are like. The school tries to prepare you, but until you've seen how strong they are and how fast... well, you can't even imagine. So I can't stop the running and the conditioning. If you want to learn more about fighting, we need to add more trainings. It'll take up more of your time. You won't have much left for your homework or anything else. You'll be tired. A lot."**

**I thought about it, about him, and about Lissa. "It doesn't matter. If you tell me to do it, I'll do it."**

**He studied me hard, like he was still trying to decide if he could believe me. Finally satisfied, he gave me a sharp nod. "We'll start tomorrow."**

Adrian took a deep breath and stood up, walking outside and probably going for a smoke. Although it annoyed me, I couldn't really blame him, considering he'd just had to read – out loud – the beginning of my attraction for Dimitri, and Dimitri's attraction to me. Still, I wasn't about to feel bad for him; He was still relying on his vices as a comfort tool.

I stood up, surprised to see Abe approaching us. My surprise turned into alarm at his words, "Belikov, can I have a word with you?"

I hadn't forgotten the last _chat_ they'd had.

Dimitri nodded, albeit hesitantly, and they walked off. I moved to follow, but to my surprise, they were speaking in Russian. God dammit. I guess it made sense that Abe could speak Russian, since he'd been there for awhile. Still, it was rather annoying. With a sigh, I counted how many people were left. Seven. Seven people until I could at least read for myself again. And we were only on chapter ten.

I sighed and sat back down on the sofa, closing my eyes as my head thudded against the back of it. I didn't want to do this anymore.

* * *

**Well, it wasn't like I could just leave you on such a cliffhanger, right? Updates will start to come slower because I'm running out of prewritten chapters, but in the next few chapters, I'll have to correct a few mistakes I've made. Primarily the ones where they _completely_ overlook the fact that Sydney, Eddie, Adrian and Jill are supposed to be in Palm Springs. Basically, this is set in a universe where Mikhail and Sonya are now bonded (as you can see), and where they wound up coming to the outskirts of court. Why? You'll see. But aside from that, to anyone who's read Bloodlines, everything else should - hopefully - remain the same. This is because I'm planning on having Sydney read the Bloodlines series in a sort of sequel. **


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